Mother´s Love – Time to Add Decency and Respect to Women’s Hard-Won Rights

Date: 10-08-2012 10:14 am (11 years ago) | Author: AYORINDE MAYOWA
[1] 2
- at 10-08-2012 10:14 AM (11 years ago)
(m)
The social, economic and cultural progress enjoyed by women over the last several decades is under threat. During this Women’s Month it is time to take a hard look at how we treat our mothers, sisters and daughters and take action to safeguard their freedoms.

Women have always had a profound effect on my thinking, values and actions.



I think back to over a 150 years ago when my great grandmother Angamma made that dramatic journey from a little village in North Arcot in the hinterland of Tamil Nadu, India.

She was fleeing the poverty and famine of that region and hoped for a better life as an indentured labourer working for the sugar barons of Natal.

Her life was hard, hours long and wages pitiful. She persevered even though her status was not much better than a slave, and she worked tirelessly to raise her children. She changed my line of ancestry forever.

I remember my mother, a housewife who sacrificed so much and raised seven children on the salary my father earned as a court interpreter. She instilled in us a value system of honesty, integrity and service. She taught us the real meaning of justice and spirituality. “It is not the religious rituals that are important but the humility with which you serve your family, community and society.

Stand firm against prejudice whether it is on the basis of religion, culture or gender. Listen carefully to all sides but never be afraid to speak your mind.”

Our house was always full and friends and family whom would drop in unannounced. There was always a meal on the table. It was simple and delicious. She always ate last and often I would see her with a cup of tea and buttered bread. The pot was dry.

The children always came first. Education was preached daily. “You can lose everything material in your life—your home, clothes, jewellery—but always remember, no one can take away the knowledge you have in your head. Education is the ladder from poverty to opportunity.”

Later in life I married Lucie Page, a French Canadian, an accomplished journalist and writer. She had a difficult time adjusting to our notions of gender equality. As a woman in Quebec, a province of Canada, she retains her name after marriage. On countless occasions I had to educate state officials that she had her own name. She was not Mrs Jay Naidoo. I find it an anachronism that a woman has to change her name when she marries. It’s expensive and it implies that a woman has to take her husband’s name to be legitimate in the eyes of the State, faith and society.

In SA we see a creeping, fallacious, traditionalism gathering momentum. A puritanical and fundamentalist storm is poised to crush our victory and rights to gender equality that are enshrined in our Constitution. Based on some absurd notion of conjectured, backward cultural practices, it forges an unholy alliance with predatory and corrupt economic and political elites.

It has begun to argue against the right to choice of women in reproductive rights, mobilising against the right to segxwal orientation and fundamental separation of state and religion. It backs an agenda which narrows our ability as citizens to speak out against attempts by the securocrat forces in government that seek to impose a veil of secrecy on our public debate.

We need to resist this dangerous alliance that seeks to cast a web of conservatism and undermine the rights we fiercely fought for in our freedom struggle.

Women’s rights, leadership, equality and incomes are at the forefront of those attacks. One just has to see the lackadaisical attitude we have to the epidemic of segxwal abuse of young girls in our communities to know how little we value women. segxwal predators in the guise of some teachers, male pupils and the ‘sugar daddy’ phenomenon are wreaking devastation on young girls in schools. A survey conducted by the Community of Information, Empowerment and Transparency, reported that 25% of boys admitted that “jackrolling”, a slang term for gang rape, was fun.

Teenage pregnancies are at an all-time high, a South African National Youth Risk Behaviour Survey (YRBS) conducted by the Medical Research Council (MRC) in 2008 revealed a staggering 24.4% of girls admitted that they had been pregnant by the age of 19. And the horrific reality that in their lifetime nearly one in three women will be raped, often by someone they know.

According to the MRC, 500,000 incidents of rape are committed annually in South Africa. Another study conducted among men in Gauteng by the Medical Research Foundation found 37% of men admitted committing rape.

So when we celebrate “Women’s Month” let us have less hypocrisy, ribbon cutting and noble intentions from our leaders. There are practical steps we need to take to end genocide of attack on the value and rights of women—our mothers, grandmothers and daughters.

When we commemorate the stance women took in 1956, when they took to the streets of Pretoria and marched to the Union Buildings in protest of apartheid pass laws, let us ask what we have really achieved. Our success should not be measured by the political statements or the middle class conversations and conferences we often have.

Instead we need to address the challenges faced by the vast majority of women, those who do not grace the covers of glossy magazines. The reality is that women in sub-Saharan Africa accounted for 60% of total maternal mortality in the world in the period from 1990 to 2008, according to surveys conducted by the UN. Worse yet, this study found that despite our relatively strong economic and political position as the “Gateway to Africa”, South Africa mirrored the trend across the region.

In my life I have had the honour and privilege to work with outstanding women that have taught me so much about human values. There was Ma Emma Mashinini—‘The Mother’ of the modern trade union movement who taught me so much and embraced me with her compassion and wisdom. Ma Albertina Sisulu, who among others, led that historic march to the Union Building with the cry “Wathint’Abafazi Wathint’imbokodo! —now you have touched the women, you have struck a rock.” It marked the foundation of the modern struggle for gender equality.

The struggle of their generation was one that did not just look inwardly at just their gender rights. It and was contextualised in the struggle politically, economically and culturally.

Our struggle in this day and age is to look at the scores of young girls assaulted daily in our schools; often at the hands of people we have entrusted their safety to; when a bunch of thugs, at a taxi rank, publicly harass and humiliate young women for what they wear; when a woman is beaten to death for refusing the advances of a group men because she chooses to share her affections with another woman; when a 94-year-old great grandmother is raped by a recently released prisoner.

Can we stand up and shout “No more. We have had enough.”? Can we assert today our determination to stop being subjects and become active citizens?

When we celebrate the hard-won rights that women have been afforded within our democracy, we need to simultaneously realise and accept that these rights are not enjoyed by all women in South Africa. We need to address the societal rot at the core of our democracy. This decay relegates our women to be second class citizens, under a new apartheid that lives in the privacy of so many homes even after 1994.

Our sons need to learn to respect women, those unrelated to them, those that become the subjects of their infatuations. When this generation of young men become the husbands and fathers of the future, they will respect their daughters and wives enough to ensure that they are not the subjects of beatings, rape and repression at their hands.

I have a daughter. She is a teenager and will grow into a woman one day. I want her to be respected and acknowledged. I want her to be safe. I want her to have the right to wear a mini skirt if she wants to without some psychotic, macho male believing it’s his right to harass and abuse her. I want her to keep her own name if she chooses a partner. I want her to have equal job opportunity. That’s the constitutional right every girl child has in our democracy. We need to resist any incursion of that right.

The woman and the mother in particular are the foundation of the continuum of human life. From falling pregnant to giving birth to life, from Bosom feeding and nurturing our babies as they grow into adulthood, from planting the major part of the food we eat, preparing the meals we eat, to educating and taking care of the health of children, they are the core of our humanity.

Let us accord the respect, rights and dignity to which our mothers, women and the girl child have a fundamental right

Posted: at 10-08-2012 10:14 AM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
- BendelArmedRobb at 10-08-2012 10:51 AM (11 years ago)
(m)
ALTHOUGHT WE HAD NO MONEY ..I AM RICH AS I COULD BE IN MY COAT OF MANY COLORS MY MAMA MADE FOR ME ,AND WHAT YOU HAVE IS BETTER THAN WHAT YOU HAVEN'TGOT.EVERY BODY IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE EYE OF THE ALMIGHT JAH ,IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH .AND HE GIVE US POWER TO BE LOVE ONE AND OTHERS...GENESIS CHAPTER 1,PARISE GOD FOR CREATION AND WE SHALL FIND PEACE ,,ALL I WANT TO FEEL IS COMFORTABLE AND REAL YES AND A LOVE FROM ABOVE ETERNALLY FOR US,,,BEAUTY ,SILVER,GOLD ,MATERIALS THINGS SHALL RISE AND FALL,EVEN THE WORLD WILL PASS AWAY BUT RIGHTEOUSNESS SHALL LIVE FROEVER ,,,DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU,,THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN LOVE AND RESPECT .... Naija una too much oo  coffee wey I dey drink for hia comot for my nose as I read this.
Posted: at 10-08-2012 10:51 AM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- aso4life1 at 10-08-2012 01:29 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
African mothers are the strongest in the world, I respect them cos they help to produce wonderful talents even in hardship...I doff my hat for every women on this forum and on the streets hustling to raise their kids.  I hail all our upcoming mothers in the house, be it girls or ladies...

I use this opportunity to thank all our mothers including my mama, I love you all.

Posted: at 10-08-2012 01:29 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- dlimelite at 10-08-2012 01:59 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
I love my mom. She's done so much for me. Bug thanks to all mothers that work so hard to provide and care for their children♥♥♥♥♥♥
Posted: at 10-08-2012 01:59 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- jamesbondchick at 10-08-2012 02:03 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: aso4life1 on 10-08-2012 01:29 PM
African mothers are the strongest in the world, I respect them cos they help to produce wonderful talents even in hardship...I doff my hat for every women on this forum and on the streets hustling to raise their kids.  I hail all our upcoming mothers in the house, be it girls or ladies...

I use this opportunity to thank all our mothers including my mama, I love you all.



correct guy

Posted: at 10-08-2012 02:03 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- chicco77 at 10-08-2012 02:52 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
 Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley
Posted: at 10-08-2012 02:52 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- toibeli at 10-08-2012 02:56 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
I thank my mum and all the women for all the sacrifices they've made on behalf of their families.
Posted: at 10-08-2012 02:56 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Solidstonez at 10-08-2012 02:57 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
MY MUM IS THE BEST MUM IN THE WORLD TO ME.....THERE IS NOTHING COMPARE TO HER

Posted: at 10-08-2012 02:57 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Solidstonez at 10-08-2012 02:58 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
I ALSO THANK ALL THE MOTHERS FOR THEIR GOOD WORK

Posted: at 10-08-2012 02:58 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- aso4life1 at 10-08-2012 03:21 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: jamesbondchick on 10-08-2012 02:03 PM
correct guy
You know, After God, the next is our Mothers, Apologies to the fathers...Most mothers can take bullets in order for their kids to live but fathers always have excuses.

No matter how good your father is, mothers are always outstanding and understanding...


I use this opportunity to pray for those who had lost their mothers both as kids or as adults cos motherly love is very huge, May God give you something wonderful to console you for the loss.


Posted: at 10-08-2012 03:21 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- verah at 10-08-2012 03:28 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
♥♥♥♥♥♥         
Beautiful is your name
Wonderful is what you are to me
It's you I see in my dreams
Everyday and I pray for you
Queen of my life
You're so beautiful mama.
You're beautiful

Emi n wa mama kan
Ta lori yeye yen
Mama mi o roju ri
And that's why I'm lovng you
Nitori omo
O jiya ni'le oko
Mama mi o roju ri
And that's why am loving you

La la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful
o o you are beautiful
Oya, la la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful
o o you are beautiful

E bami kira fun mama mi
Orisha bi iya o
Ko si laiye
E bami kira fun mama mi
Orisha bi iya o
Ko si laiye

Oya
La la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful
Oya
La la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful

[lyrics from www.niglyrics.com]

Woman, there is no one like you
Woman, there is no one like you
Nitori omo o
O jiya ni le oko
Mama mi o ro oju ri
And that is why am loving you
Nitori omo o
O jiya ni le oko
Mama mi o ro oju ri
And that is why am loving you
La la la la

La la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful
o o you are beautiful
Oya, la la la la la la la
o o you are beautiful
o o you are beautiful

E bami kira fun mama mi
Orisha bi iya o
Ko si laiye
E bami kira fun mama mi
Orisha bi iya o
Ko si laiye


Oya
La la la la la la la
that's why you are beautiful
Oya
La la la la la la la

Yeye yi o ro'ju ri
and that's why I'm loving you
Yeye yi o ro'ju ri
and that's why I'm loving you

Yeye ni wura, Yeye ni wura
Baba ni jigi o [ko si laye]
Yeye ni wura


I LOVE YOU MUM  Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss

Posted: at 10-08-2012 03:28 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Solidstonez at 10-08-2012 03:35 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: aso4life1 on 10-08-2012 03:21 PM
You know, After God, the next is our Mothers, Apologies to the fathers...Most mothers can take bullets in order for their kids to live but fathers always have excuses.

No matter how good your father is, mothers are always outstanding and understanding...


I use this opportunity to pray for those who had lost their mothers both as kids or as adults cos motherly love is very huge, May God give you something wonderful to console you for the loss.


NICE ONE

Posted: at 10-08-2012 03:35 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- Neglito at 10-08-2012 04:23 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
It's only a foolish man that disrespects a woman.
Posted: at 10-08-2012 04:23 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- exever100 at 10-08-2012 04:35 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
mama u r appreciated !!
Posted: at 10-08-2012 04:35 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- jessymic at 10-08-2012 04:56 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: aso4life1 on 10-08-2012 03:21 PM
You know, After God, the next is our Mothers, Apologies to the fathers...Most mothers can take bullets in order for their kids to live but fathers always have excuses.

No matter how good your father is, mothers are always outstanding and understanding...


I use this opportunity to pray for those who had lost their mothers both as kids or as adults cos motherly love is very huge, May God give you something wonderful to console you for the loss.



You are right bro, Mothers are great especially my mum
Posted: at 10-08-2012 04:56 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- aso4life1 at 10-08-2012 05:01 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Neglito on 10-08-2012 04:23 PM
It's only a foolish man that disrespects a woman.
very correct...and if a man disrespect them, he becomes a loser cos women has a particular God given spirit that always fight for them.
Mothers, I carry yansh give una

Posted: at 10-08-2012 05:01 PM (11 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- mds80s at 10-08-2012 05:11 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
THEY SAID AFRICAN WOMAN ..THAT IS ALL WOMEN NOT YOUR MOTHER ..SO DON;T TELL US YOUR MOM IS THE BEST NO ONE FELL FROM TREE OKAY
Posted: at 10-08-2012 05:11 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- oyinajibola at 10-08-2012 05:41 PM (11 years ago)
(m)
Who should I give my love my respect and my honor to after Allah and his Prophet??? YOUR MOTHER,YOUR MOTHER, YOUR MOTHER, AND THEN YOUR FATHER
In islam, women are not allowed to take the name of their husband,instead they retain the name of their father(many muslims dont know this)... ur husband cn never be ur father and ur wife can neva be ur mother
Posted: at 10-08-2012 05:41 PM (11 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Bettygirls at 10-08-2012 05:52 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
 Smiley
Posted: at 10-08-2012 05:52 PM (11 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- HOPEA23 at 10-08-2012 05:59 PM (11 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: aso4life1 on 10-08-2012 01:29 PM
African mothers are the strongest in the world, I respect them cos they help to produce wonderful talents even in hardship...I doff my hat for every women on this forum and on the streets hustling to raise their kids.  I hail all our upcoming mothers in the house, be it girls or ladies...

I use this opportunity to thank all our mothers including my mama, I love you all.

God bless u

Posted: at 10-08-2012 05:59 PM (11 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
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