Baby Photographer

Date: 20-04-2009 1:30 pm (14 years ago) | Author: 14_Inches
[1] 2 3 4 ... 7
- at 20-04-2009 01:30 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"


14_Inches_Long

Posted: at 20-04-2009 01:30 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- herdeysohjy at 20-04-2009 01:32 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
brb
Posted: at 20-04-2009 01:32 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Sheenor at 20-04-2009 01:45 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
funny

Posted: at 20-04-2009 01:45 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- iphie at 20-04-2009 03:02 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
brb
Posted: at 20-04-2009 03:02 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Kennycynth at 20-04-2009 03:56 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
i no understand dis one oh
Posted: at 20-04-2009 03:56 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 20-04-2009 03:58 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
no mind d guy him dey do repeat brodcast
Posted: at 20-04-2009 03:58 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 20-04-2009 03:59 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
@kc, babe where u ben go since yesterday morning wey don tie way we no dey c ur nose again, na wa to u o,
Posted: at 20-04-2009 03:59 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- dinho4lyf at 20-04-2009 05:35 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
lol
Posted: at 20-04-2009 05:35 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- ibobobelvis at 21-04-2009 08:47 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
 Grin Grin

Posted: at 21-04-2009 08:47 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 21-04-2009 09:13 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: ibobobelvis on 21-04-2009 08:47 AM
Grin Grin

close o dent, dent no clean
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:13 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Kristiantus at 21-04-2009 09:24 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Kennycynth on 20-04-2009 03:56 PM
i no understand dis one oh
Grin Grin Grin
him dey narrate how him take come about him name "14_Inches_Long"
@14_Inches_Long: ol boy you no need to dey use ur "action man" dey posse for here... if the thing na 14_Inches_Long nko, na new thing.... abegi..... Angry
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:24 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- iphie at 21-04-2009 09:31 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
no na becus say na ipod abi na stripod him dey take mount am
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:31 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Kristiantus at 21-04-2009 09:35 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: iphie on 21-04-2009 09:31 AM
no na becus say na ipod abi na stripod him dey take mount am
Grin Grin Grin
nne, even though say na pillar him take dey mount am, na the reason why him go cum dey broadcast for here... him don see other housemate own.. him don see sizey; emma jesus; gwhy and the rest of bobos for here... just bcos him own na 14_Inches_Long, him wan become president for here...
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:35 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- iphie at 21-04-2009 09:38 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
u suppose knw say pikking wey neva c anoda piking papa own go talk say na him papa own big pass.............abi u don 4get?
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:38 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Kristiantus at 21-04-2009 09:46 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: iphie on 21-04-2009 09:38 AM
u suppose knw say pikking wey neva c anoda piking papa own go talk say na him papa own big pass.............abi u don 4get?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
so make we make am president now? for your information, gwhy don once tell me him own "action man" reach 21_Inches_Long... him (gwhy) no even broadcast to become president... talk less of just 14_Inches_Long something.
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:46 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- 14_Inches_Long at 21-04-2009 09:48 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Iphie and shemor,
You dey look for my truoble. Even if 14_Inches_Long or more wetin concern agbero with overload. If I lay my thingy on both of you, you go shout YAHOOO !!!!.


No try me o, the people wey dey survive am no plenty.. If you dare me, I challenge both of you to practical session, and the umpire go be TOKSSSS !!!!!!


14_Inches no be joke, beware.
Posted: at 21-04-2009 09:48 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 21-04-2009 10:13 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
4 dat ur tiny church mind, cum se u tynk say we no knw say na dat ya index leg dey confuse u aby, no wrry o ti se awon agba, o ti te awon aye mo le,
Posted: at 21-04-2009 10:13 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Kristiantus at 21-04-2009 10:24 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: iphie on 21-04-2009 10:13 AM
4 dat ur tiny church mind, cum se u tynk say we no knw say na dat ya index leg dey confuse u aby, no wrry o ti se awon agba, o ti te awon aye mo le,
iphie, don't do what am thinking..... hope you no wan reduce him "action man" from 14_Inches_Long to 1_Inches_Long... Grin
Posted: at 21-04-2009 10:24 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- emmymth at 21-04-2009 10:36 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
krissssssssssssssss?na wetin sef?

Posted: at 21-04-2009 10:36 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- iphie at 21-04-2009 10:45 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
krist leave me abeg, make i remove am pata pata, dat wey him go respect him elders, c dis small pikin like am........
Posted: at 21-04-2009 10:45 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
[1] 2 3 4 ... 7

fire TRENDING GISTS fire

TODAY'S TOP
  1. VIDEO: AY Makun Shares Video Of Renovated Mansion Months After Fire Accident

  2. Time To Tell The World - Primeboy Files Petition Against Mohbad's Widow, Wunmi Over Allegations

  3. Gospel Artist, Chinyere Udoma Mourns Loss as Fire Destroys Lagos Music Studio (Video)

  4. Peter Obi Meets Labour Party's Edo State Governorship Candidate, Olumide Akpata (Photos)

  5. American Rapper, 50 Cent Faces Rap3 Accusations By Ex-girlfriend, Daphne Joy

  6. Veteran Actor, Zack Orji Heads To UK For Post-Surgery Evaluation (Photos)

  7. “You No Go Pay”: Drama As Old Video Of Basketmouth Begging Wizkid For Free Promo Surfaces Onlin

  8. 'It Was All A Stunt' -Eniola Ajao Pleads Again, Begs Nigerians To Watch Her N200m Movie

  9. After Spending Two Years In Prison, Court Acquits 23-year-old Accused Of R*ping Girlfriend

  10. "I’ve Not Touched My N120M" - Ilebaye Odiniya Debunks Financial Struggles Rumors On Snapchat

  11. Former BBNaija Contestant, Deji Morafa Attains Pharmaceutical License In The U.S.

  12. Movie Star, Funke Akindele & Her Twin Kids In Dubai On Short Vacation

  13. Oxlade Raises Concerns About Treatment In Nigerian Music Industry

  14. Saudi Arabia Set To Make Debut In Miss Universe Pageant; To Be Represented By Rumy Alqahtani

  15. Pregnant Woman, Mmesoma Odili Loses Baby During Detention Over Land Dispute In Anambra

  16. 'You’re The Prettiest Woman In The World' - BBNaija's Angel Celebrates Mom On Her Birthday

  17. Kano Police Apprehend 22 Suspected Hoodlums, Declare 30 Others Wanted (Photos)

  18. Armed Robber Rap3s 20-yr-old Jigawa Housewife In Hubby's Presence After Stealing Bags Of Pepper

  19. Police Hand Over Wanted Delta Monarch Ogenerukeywe To Military

  20. Binance Faces $35.4 Million Money Laundering Charges: International Manhunt For Executives


THIS WEEK
  1. Russia President Putin Shocks Many As He Announces That Jesus And Mary Were Black

  2. Netizens React To Influencer, Enioluwa’s Alleged Leaked S*x Tape

  3. Kim Kardashian Finally Opens Up On Why She Divorced Kanye West

  4. Selena Gomez Shares Sexy Photo As She Put On A Very BUsty Display

  5. FAAN Shuts Down KFC Outlet At The Lagos Airport Over Discriminatory Treatment of Ex Gov's Son

  6. "Why I Broke Up With My Girlfriend When I Became A Star" – Singer, Asake

  7. 44Yr Old Bassirou Faye Wins Senegal's Presidential Election, Defeats 62Yr Old Ex Prime Minister

  8. Stop Harassïng Enioluwa, I'm The One in The Leaked S*x Tape - US P0rn Star, Briggs Speaks (VID)

  9. VID: 44yr Old Senegalese President-Elect Melts Hearts As He Flaunts His 2wives

  10. Davido's Daughter, Imade Is Now An Epitome Of Beauty, Netizens React To New Posts About Her


TOP MEMBERS: