I am a swedish man married to my nigerian wife since october last year. We are not doing so good, i wonder if you have any good advice to give.
Before she arrived she always said in the chatroom that she can not live without me, she is deeply in love with me, she loves me more than I can imagine. I cannot understand this. Now when she finally has the opportunity to express all this love, she does nothing. She is happy watching TV alone. She don’t care if I sit close to her or not. If I try to kiss her when she is watching TV I never know if she is in the mood, if she is going to turn her face away or not. This makes me very insecure about our relation. I never know when to express my love, when the time is right for her. I have started to ask her “may I kiss you”, “may I hug you” which I find stupid and unromantic. But the fear of being rejected by her is so devastating.
Since the very first day we met in chatroom I explained to her how important physical contact is to me. I explained to her I need lots of kisses, hugs and other expressions of love. She said she was fine with this. She even told me she need this herself.
I cannot endure the fact that my wife prefer not to touch me, she do not want my kisses, she turns away her mouth when I am trying to kiss her. I find it hard not to receive any hugs or other signs of affection to me. I find it difficult she always having a lot of excuses about why she don’t want physical contact with me. Either she freezes, she is tired, she is watching TV or she has any other excuse of avoiding me. It is true that when I am hugging her and she is in the right mood, she returns my hugs. But not even once since she arrived has she spontaneously hugged me or kissed me. I wonder if she really loves me.
What is love to her? Is it only a commitment, a decision once taken in the past? Should not love result in something sweet, emotional in the presence? Are spouses supposed to live together in an apartment physically separated, as if they were brother or sister, or two friends? When we wake up in the morning she don’t even greets me with a hug or a kiss. Maybe she greets me ‘good morning’, that is all. And when we go to bed she does not want to kiss me or hug me even then.
She says it is because of her African heritage and culture she behaves like this. She says African husband and wife can sit apart from each other, they don’t need any closeness. They don’t hug and kiss, this is something Europeans do. And Europeans they divorce all the time she says.
She had to wait several months to get to see me, her husband. And when she finally sees me and lives with me, she seems to be uninterested in me. She says I am fat, she don’t like my tobacco, she don’t like my country’s food. She complaints about my snoring, and our bed being too small.
Posted: at 16-06-2009 11:33 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie
shanique at 16-06-2009 11:33 PM (14 years ago) (f)
what the shitty 4kery 4k is this?
WTSFFIS
U SwEaR U KnOw Me CuZ Ya HeArD My NaMe BuT iF Ya EvA rEaLLy MeT Me YuD KnOw Da GaMe dRaMa NeVa EnDs And HaTaS ArE aLL tHa SaMe tHeY sMiLe To Ya FacE aNd sPiT oN yA NaMe
Posted: at 16-06-2009 11:33 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
shanique at 16-06-2009 11:34 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: Toks-E on 16-06-2009 11:34 PM
Quote from: shanique on 16-06-2009 11:33 PM
what the shitty 4kery 4k is this?
WTSFFIS
U SwEaR U KnOw Me CuZ Ya HeArD My NaMe BuT iF Ya EvA rEaLLy MeT Me YuD KnOw Da GaMe dRaMa NeVa EnDs And HaTaS ArE aLL tHa SaMe tHeY sMiLe To Ya FacE aNd sPiT oN yA NaMe
Posted: at 16-06-2009 11:34 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
myragonza at 17-06-2009 08:18 AM (14 years ago) (f)
Quote from: edocouple on 16-06-2009 11:33 PM
I am a swedish man married to my nigerian wife since october last year. We are not doing so good, i wonder if you have any good advice to give.
Before she arrived she always said in the chatroom that she can not live without me, she is deeply in love with me, she loves me more than I can imagine. I cannot understand this. Now when she finally has the opportunity to express all this love, she does nothing. She is happy watching TV alone. She don’t care if I sit close to her or not. If I try to kiss her when she is watching TV I never know if she is in the mood, if she is going to turn her face away or not. This makes me very insecure about our relation. I never know when to express my love, when the time is right for her. I have started to ask her “may I kiss you”, “may I hug you” which I find stupid and unromantic. But the fear of being rejected by her is so devastating.
Since the very first day we met in chatroom I explained to her how important physical contact is to me. I explained to her I need lots of kisses, hugs and other expressions of love. She said she was fine with this. She even told me she need this herself.
I cannot endure the fact that my wife prefer not to touch me, she do not want my kisses, she turns away her mouth when I am trying to kiss her. I find it hard not to receive any hugs or other signs of affection to me. I find it difficult she always having a lot of excuses about why she don’t want physical contact with me. Either she freezes, she is tired, she is watching TV or she has any other excuse of avoiding me. It is true that when I am hugging her and she is in the right mood, she returns my hugs. But not even once since she arrived has she spontaneously hugged me or kissed me. I wonder if she really loves me.
What is love to her? Is it only a commitment, a decision once taken in the past? Should not love result in something sweet, emotional in the presence? Are spouses supposed to live together in an apartment physically separated, as if they were brother or sister, or two friends? When we wake up in the morning she don’t even greets me with a hug or a kiss. Maybe she greets me ‘good morning’, that is all. And when we go to bed she does not want to kiss me or hug me even then.
She says it is because of her African heritage and culture she behaves like this. She says African husband and wife can sit apart from each other, they don’t need any closeness. They don’t hug and kiss, this is something Europeans do. And Europeans they divorce all the time she says.
She had to wait several months to get to see me, her husband. And when she finally sees me and lives with me, she seems to be uninterested in me. She says I am fat, she don’t like my tobacco, she don’t like my country’s food. She complaints about my snoring, and our bed being too small.
i think she is the typical kind of african woman....i mean,no offence....but she is just not the romantic kinda person like u.....u know its difficult for an african born person to adapt to the western lifestyle...she needs plenty of time.....she may have said yes to ur question but u can't expect someone to change just like that...........
PreetyInstinct at 17-06-2009 02:21 PM (14 years ago) (f)
@POster i understand how u feel :(ermmm but wat advise do u want us 2 give?i think u should just try and be more patient and pray about it ok don't loose ur cool and be strong....god bless laters.
@Pires so no simple hello frm u nawa ooo.......
I will never fade and I will never blend....not here to be ur friend or enemy, i say what i ave to say & i'll be out as soon as i'm done, not hard to find & not here to keep i'm the beauty that you can never sight asleep!
Posted: at 17-06-2009 02:21 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
shanique at 17-06-2009 02:24 PM (14 years ago) (f)
........
U SwEaR U KnOw Me CuZ Ya HeArD My NaMe BuT iF Ya EvA rEaLLy MeT Me YuD KnOw Da GaMe dRaMa NeVa EnDs And HaTaS ArE aLL tHa SaMe tHeY sMiLe To Ya FacE aNd sPiT oN yA NaMe
Posted: at 17-06-2009 02:24 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
PreetyInstinct at 17-06-2009 02:31 PM (14 years ago) (f)
I will never fade and I will never blend....not here to be ur friend or enemy, i say what i ave to say & i'll be out as soon as i'm done, not hard to find & not here to keep i'm the beauty that you can never sight asleep!
Posted: at 17-06-2009 02:31 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
I am a swedish man married to my nigerian wife since october last year. We are not doing so good, i wonder if you have any good advice to give.
Before she arrived she always said in the chatroom that she can not live without me, she is deeply in love with me, she loves me more than I can imagine. I cannot understand this. Now when she finally has the opportunity to express all this love, she does nothing. She is happy watching TV alone. She don’t care if I sit close to her or not. If I try to kiss her when she is watching TV I never know if she is in the mood, if she is going to turn her face away or not. This makes me very insecure about our relation. I never know when to express my love, when the time is right for her. I have started to ask her “may I kiss you”, “may I hug you” which I find stupid and unromantic. But the fear of being rejected by her is so devastating.
Since the very first day we met in chatroom I explained to her how important physical contact is to me. I explained to her I need lots of kisses, hugs and other expressions of love. She said she was fine with this. She even told me she need this herself.
I cannot endure the fact that my wife prefer not to touch me, she do not want my kisses, she turns away her mouth when I am trying to kiss her. I find it hard not to receive any hugs or other signs of affection to me. I find it difficult she always having a lot of excuses about why she don’t want physical contact with me. Either she freezes, she is tired, she is watching TV or she has any other excuse of avoiding me. It is true that when I am hugging her and she is in the right mood, she returns my hugs. But not even once since she arrived has she spontaneously hugged me or kissed me. I wonder if she really loves me.
What is love to her? Is it only a commitment, a decision once taken in the past? Should not love result in something sweet, emotional in the presence? Are spouses supposed to live together in an apartment physically separated, as if they were brother or sister, or two friends? When we wake up in the morning she don’t even greets me with a hug or a kiss. Maybe she greets me ‘good morning’, that is all. And when we go to bed she does not want to kiss me or hug me even then.
She says it is because of her African heritage and culture she behaves like this. She says African husband and wife can sit apart from each other, they don’t need any closeness. They don’t hug and kiss, this is something Europeans do. And Europeans they divorce all the time she says.
She had to wait several months to get to see me, her husband. And when she finally sees me and lives with me, she seems to be uninterested in me. She says I am fat, she don’t like my tobacco, she don’t like my country’s food. She complaints about my snoring, and our bed being too small.
Well, What she's doing has nothing to do with African Heritage or Culture... Yu've met the wrong woman. l normally don't support Divorce but l think she's not worth yur energy.
Get rid of her, she's there for the Financila Comfort only
WHEN YU DIE YU TAKE NOTHING WITH YU, SO PLS PUT A SMILE ON YUR NEIGHBOR'S FACE
Posted: at 17-06-2009 02:47 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
shanique
BuT iF Ya EvA rEaLLy MeT Me YuD KnOw Da GaMe dRaMa NeVa EnDs And HaTaS ArE aLL tHa SaMe tHeY sMiLe To Ya FacE aNd sPiT oN yA NaMe 
Toks-E
myragonza
Pires07
mazi
PreetyInstinct
vivian07
Kennee
Katee
around_d_corner
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