Abeg Post my mail make your readers help me. Sorry for the long mail, I am an only child and I have no one to talk to.Will appreciate sincere response from you and your readers of which I am one..... most especially Bloglord,wide eyed,phyuknizer and all the other correct people and anonymous'.
Its my 23rd birthday in some weeks, I have done quite well for myself and preparing for masters thanks to God. But i feel im too young for marriage until the next year or two when i must have settled into life fully. My 4 year relationship with my 32 year old boyfriend ended some months ago and amazingly I don't really know what I feel even though he has been making efforts to reconcile with me.
My best friend is male and we have been close since forever we got closer and more intimate when the problem in my relationship started, I feel bad that maybe I did not give due attention to my bf and thats why I was'nt bothered about making things work when it started to crumble. He lets me have my way and do whatever I want including adhering to my rule of no sex before marriage. But sometimes you need a man to be firm and I don't see him in this light. My best friend is younger but sets me straight when I'm out of line because I am very strongwilled.
I do not want it to seem like i'm comparing them but in recent times i have had to. For his age his interests are childish and company of friends is questionable although he is not doing badly as an individual. I talked so much about it. It seemed like i was nagging but seems to be changing after the breakup. I do not have so much experience with men either.
My best friend and I have a wonderful chemistry so much that I have found myself falling in love with him, he says we should get married soon that he wants to be serious with me. I told him I will pray about it but I am really confused. Wont it seem like i had this guy on the decks and waited for the right moment to carry out this evil plan. He is not in the country presently and wants me to fly to Paris to spend my birthday. I am afraid to go for three reasons
1)I do not think i want to commit just yet but i enjoy him and his company so well I would be ill if i don't hear from him in a day
2) I am afraid he will propose to me (No i'm not being forward) he has tried to measure my hand with a fake ring as well as leave other hints including speaking with my mum
3) i DO NOT want to have sex with him, he does'nt believe in celibacy before marriage(This is the reason i may not consider him at all).
The whole situation is causing me to worry. I am not ready to get married immediately but i think my ex bf's family are putting some sort of pressure on him that's why he broke up with me thinking it will make me get serious but that did not work. He's still all up in my space. Some Pastors prophesied he is my husband but he has not "MANNED UP" to define what he wants which was my annoyance. There's no assumption in marriage. It was after the break up he said he planned to propose soon. I do not want to continue with him and end up frustrated or seem like i’m enduring or doing it out of pity, i want to enjoy my marriage.
Best Friend on the other hand is looking forward to my arrival but i do not want to do anything rash. Majorly i am not ready to sleep with him in as much as i love him and he believes Sex is important. But i am a christian and i don’t want to compromise on any values. I'm not enthusiastic about the trip although it will be a nice birthday getaway, how do i get him to stop processing papers without hurting his feelings or break off the whole thing totally. Let it not be that i have lost my original husband even though i do not feel any attraction to him Presently.Should i forget both of them and face my Career and wait for the right man.
Forgive me for this long letter.
PLEASE GUYS HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!
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