The Dark Side of Online Dating - Stalked, Raped & Robbed (MUST READ)

I have been internet dating for five years, and had over 100 dates, using sites like Match, Plenty Of Fish, Tinder and OK Cupid. I’ve had some really bad experiences, and one of the worst was with a man who appeared to be handsome, charming and kind. On his profile he said he was 26, and we chatted online for a while first. I was 19 at the time. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop near my home.
 At first, I was taken aback by the fact that he looked quite a bit older than his profile picture, but he still seemed very charming. We chatted normally for about five minutes until he leaned forward and said: “I’ll give you a grand if you sleep with me in front of a camera.” I sat back in my seat, too shocked to say anything. He’d just asked me to appear in a porn film! I said: “I really don’t think that’s possible” — at which point the handsome, charming man became extremely aggressive and threatening. He accused me of wasting his time and started shouting and gesticulating.
In my fear I backed away from him and ran into the loo. I rang my mum and said: “Come and get me!” Thank God we were in a public place, because who knows what he might have done if we’d met in private. I also met a guy online who at first seemed really nice and we began dating. He was 6ft 5in and worked as a security guard. But gradually I began to realise he had anger issues — and a lot of problems with his parents. He started hitting the wall in front of me, then on another date he grabbed me violently and lifted me off my feet. I screamed — I was terrified he was going to hit me. That was the end of that. I also dated a guy who said he slept with an axe under his bed — I made my excuses and left, pretty sharpish.
 Then there was the man who got obsessed with me. I went on one date and he was so weird and intense, he even started talking about marriage. I thought: “He’s not for me” and politely declined a second date. Then he started sending me nasty messages saying “Stop ignoring me, you bitch” or “I’m outside your house”.
It was awful.
 Despite all this I’m still dating online. I cling to the hope that there is one normal guy out there, but at the moment all I seem to get are weirdos.

I’d not been talking to Liz for long online before she suggested that we meet. It seemed quite sudden as I usually talk to people for several weeks before setting up a date, but she seemed like such a lovely girl that I went for it.
 At first I wasn’t sorry that I had, because she seemed great. She was a pretty 28-year-old, who was very easy to talk to and fun to be around. I met her in a pub where I had a Corona and she had a VK alcopop. When I finished my beer she suggested we go on to a cocktail bar. She hadn’t finished her VK and said she didn’t like the flavour, so offered it to me to finish off. I downed the last of it and off we went. I was standing at the bar in the next place with her beside me when I suddenly felt my legs collapse. It was the strangest sensation — I didn’t feel drunk in the slightest yet I had lost control of my body. I must have lost consciousness because the next thing I knew a stranger was helping me up. I looked around for Liz but couldn’t see her anywhere. I think I even tried to call out to her but got no reply. So I staggered outside but collapsed several more times. And I must have blacked out again because the next thing I was aware of, a policeman was helping me into a taxi.
 It was the strangest feeling and like nothing that has ever happened to me before. I definitely wasn’t drunk — I’d only had one beer — and it felt very different to that. I am certain that Liz put a drug in that VK before I drank it. When the taxi got to mine, I realised why. My wallet, with £240 of cash, was gone. I had to get the driver to take me to my mum’s so I could pay him. I found the whole thing hugely embarrassing and felt too ashamed to go to the police. The worst part is not the money, but that the wallet contained a precious photo of my son. Needless to say, I never heard from Liz again. She never answered my calls or messages and immediately deleted her PoF account. She just vanished into thin air. The experience hasn’t put me off internet dating but it did make me more careful. I make sure I talk to someone for a while before meeting up, and like to check them out on Facebook first. I’ve actually met a really nice girl now — proof that not everyone online is a weirdo.

I work from home so I don’t meet many new people, and internet dating seemed the obvious answer. I hadn’t been signed up to Plenty Of Fish for long when I started chatting to Mike*, a guy about my age. He seemed really nice and we had a lot in common. It got to the point where we were WhatsApp-ing all day, every day. I even deleted my PoF profile because it really felt like it could turn into a relationship. After a couple of months, I felt like I knew him and agreed to go to his house to watch a movie. We were still getting to know each other so it seemed like a chilled-out thing to do. But when I got there, I could tell from his body language that he wasn’t interested in the movie.nI’d barely sat down when he lunged at me and started aggressively kissing me. It was too much from someone I’d just met. I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that straight away and tried to make a joke of it, thinking maybe he was just a bit keen. We put the movie on but he wouldn’t leave me alone. He started touching me and I kept telling him: “I don’t want this, please stop”. But he just carried on.
He got on top of me and was very strong — I couldn’t push him off. He ignored me when I kept asking him to stop so eventually I just lay there and let him finish. Afterwards, he pulled up his jeans and left the room. In a daze, I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. I couldn’t even find the words to say anything. He just looked at me and said: “What’s wrong with you?” as I left. It left me very confused and I was in denial about what happened for a long time after.
 I wasn’t even sure if it was rape because I wasn’t struggling and screaming the whole way through. But when I confided in a close friend she told me that of course it was, because I had said no multiple times. Mike never messaged or called me again so he must have known what he did was wrong. I think this must have been his intention all along. It’s taken me a while but I know now that what happened wasn’t my fault. It’s left me with trust issues and the first time I slept with someone afterwards I just froze. My family and most of my friends still don’t know because I find it hard to open up about it. Nowadays, I’m much more cautious about who I meet and where. I always make sure my mum knows where I am, too. I learned the hard way that not everyone you meet online is who they say they are.