Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak
more clearly than actions. Take a moment every now and then to
verbalize your feelings for your partner. A simple “I love you” or “You
mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making your significant
other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.
2. Show some affection.
Small acts of physical intimacy – the hand on the small of the back as you
brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your
hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking
down the street – give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love
and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, or
even more important, than the longest night of segxwal intimacy.
3. Show appreciation for your partner.
Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most
about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their
strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn’t just
about the initial bonding – it’s about encouraging and supporting each
other’s growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his
or her potential by constantly building them up.
4. Share yourself.
Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and
mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it
with your partner. More than that, be sure to share more with your partner
than you do with anyone else. While there is certainly a need for some
personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself
and your time as you can bear to your partner.
5. Be there for your partner.
It’s obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life
challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it’s just as
important to be supportive when your partner faces life’s little challenges,
too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Don’t let
yourself be a doormat, and definitely don’t stand for physical or verbal
abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the voice of calm and reason
when chaos strikes. Listen to what’s bothering them and offer whatever
help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can.
6. Give gifts.Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an SMS at work to “I love you” – again, the little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your partner feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.
7. Respond gracefully to your partner’s demands and
shortcomings. A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless you married a robot, your partner comes pre-loaded with a whole range of
human failures and foibles. These are features, not bugs! Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses are often at
the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don’t pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner’s flaws.
8. Make "alone time" a priority.
No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least
an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new experiences,
share your stories, and just generally enjoy each other’s company.
9. Take nothing for granted.
Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little
things for you every day to make your relationship work (as, hopefully, you are for them). Never take that for granted – a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second you stop it starts to slide away.
10. Strive for equality.
Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your
partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division of
household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special
considerations you’d be unwilling,
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