Confused 23 Yrs Old Lady Shares Her Ordeal What She Feels Anytime She Makes Love to a Man

Good morning Naijapals, please i need your help coz i'm confused. when i was in primary school i was a tomboy, i liked everything boys to the extent i told my mum i wanted a sex change so i can become a boy, my mum and my relatives would just laugh it off but then i got into an all girls boarding secondary school and it became worse, i was having feelings for my fellow girls, then in my SS3 we were playing truth or dare and i was dared to kiss a girl and it felt really good, so good actually, But Then i didn't want to break her heart so to avoid those strange feeling i had i had a boyfriend in my first year in the University, in my 2nd year we had sex but i felt nothing for him. And every time we had sex to make it looks like i was enjoying it in order not to hurt his feelings. Then in my 3rd year i met a girl at a friend's party and one thing led to the other and we had sex, i was like nothing i have ever felt before, it was so good, i had to keep dating my  boyfriend as a camouflage but i was feeling bad coz i knew i was hurting him. I broke up with him after that and still i feel like i'm on top of the world. One Year after service and i still feel like the greatest sinner and i'm not worthy to be in God's presence. some of my friends know about tis but my family has no idea. i'm 23 and i know very soon my parents will be expecting me to get married but i don't know what to do then. Some Pple judge lesbians and Gays but what they do not understand is that sometimes we don't actually choose what we become it just happens. I didn't choose tis for myself, It's just like when you fall in love with someone you don't plan it and it just happens. it's like an emotion i can't control. I need help coz it's really driving me crazy. And yes i was advice to visit some pastors and priest in  the past for deliverance but it didn't work. i Need your help please.