Can your daughter marry a single parent?

Jude is the dream son-in-law any mother would wish for. He is nice, kind, gentle and generous. Remi counted herself lucky to have had such a man. In fact, she is the envy of her friends. But the secret Remi would not want to share with her mum and friends is the fact that Jude was once married. The marriage was blessed with two lovely children who Jude dotes on. Remi knows her mother would not subscribe to this kind of relationship with a Tokunbo or a fairly-used man because of the implications.

One, as Christians, it is against Biblical injuctions. Another one is that the man could decide to leave her and marry another person again. Afterall, he has done it before and he can do it again. Then Mama’s concern is that her daughter would be saddled eith the responsibility of taking care of another woman’s children. When would she start taking care of her own? So, a single parent is out of the question for Remi as far as her mum is concerned. But Jude is an angel that Remi is not prepared tp let go.

We sampled the opinion of some women whether they would allow their daughters marry a single parent. Their responses:

MRS. MARTINS
Well, there are factors we should look into before making our decision.
First, we have to consider our daughter's happiness and joy. That shouldn't shake our stand. In other words, we should not be sentimental about it. I will tell her the likely experience that might await her where she is going to. This has to go with prayer and fasting. Allow God to guide and speak to you. Let God affirm His mind to you. After this, I think she will not take the wrong person for a husband.

MRS. RUTH
I can allow her, because some single parents’ homes are far better than the polygamous homes we see today.
Though many people today think there are more problems with single parents, but it is not so.
I have a personal experience. I’m a product of a polygamous home, and you can’t imagine what I went through.
It got to a point that my father’s first wife wanted to get rid of we children, which is to tell you how dangerous a polygamous home is.
There were always fights, quarrels and that definitely affected the children.
I would not stop my daughter marrying a single parent, provided it will give her rest of mind and make her happy.

MADAM PRECIOUS
On just one condition, that is to say the first wife had died. Because if she is still alive, I tell you it is a battle to the end.
If the first wife is still alive, she might instigate the children against the new wife.
But if the separation between the man and his former wife was as a result of death, I think, there is nothing to worry about.
Secondly, I may not allow my daughter to marry a single father if his children are grown-ups and still reside in their father’s house because my daughter would not be able to handle them. In other words, they will be too hard to control and there starts the problem.

MRS. USEH
Frankly speaking, it is not advisable, but on the other hand, God knows what best fits us. He knows where our joy lies.
I have no power of mine, provided God tells her to marry the man. After all, what I had always prayed for her is joy, happiness, peace of mind and that God should bless her home with everything a good home is expected to have.

FOLA
Why can’t I? At least since that would make her and her family happy. I will let her go on with it. I have no objection to her marrying a single parent, at least marrying a single parent sometimes is better than marrying a man who had never had a child or married a woman before.So, if she would find joy there, why would I stop her?

MRS. MARIA
As far as I’m concerned, my daughter will not marry a single father. I won't allow her to be a bad example and an object of ridicule in the society because a survey has shown that averagely such marriages break-up.
The fact that I did not marry a single parent will inform my decision on hers too.
There are facts people don't really understand. Even people who don’t marry singles are praying for God's sustenance, let alone those who are in a ship that is about to capsize. No way.

MRS. FOLAKE
I will allow it only, if God supports it and I believe if God approves it, definitely it will be a happy home for her and her new family.
I cannot choose for her, neither can I dictate to her. She knows what she wants and together we will table it before God for confirmation.

MRS. ATANDA
As far as I’m concerned, civilization has gone far beyond parents dictating to their children. They can only advise and pray for them.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in a daughter marrying a single parent. But I’ve found out that our fear as parents is the problem embedded in such homes because it is simply nothing far to a polygamous home. If I see the home as a bad and an un-interesting place for my daughter, I think I would rather advise she does not even think of it, let alone do so because her happiness is my joy. At least no woman would want her daughter to suffer in her matrimonial home

FAITH AKIN
I would not allow her, because her step-children might feel unloved or maltreated. Some of these step-children would never be satisfied or be okay irrespective of the care showered on them as long as their mother is not there.

MRS. ABU
Only God can teach and guide us on such an issue. You know these girls of nowadays; they sometimes behave in a funny way. No parent can create a happy home but you only can work towards it by praying. Man is the architect of his life, everyone's destiny is in his hands.
But we have had instances where single girls get married to single parents but all homes cannot be the same. Definitely only good counseling and prayer would heal a broken heart.

MRS. ALIEMEKE
It is dicey. It is not something we can handle in a haste. No, If we want a very good and effective change.
First, some of our young girls today only think of what they see today, they don't think of the future or what they can encounter. An adage says "things the elderly see while standing straight, the babes can never see , even if they climb the tall Iroko tree".
So I would rather advise my daughter to open her eyes wide, no all that glitter is gold.