Your husband is mummy’s boy?

Gladys considers herself the luckiest woman in the world. Her man, Wande spends most of his free time with his children. He is a teetotaller does not womanize like most of his friends do, does not hang out late with the boys and he is hard working.

He is what every wife dreams of in a man. His only minus is that at 38, he is still his mummy’s boy and very much tied to his extended family than his own immediate family. He takes matters relating to his extended family more seriously than that of his wife and children.

He rarely takes decisions without informing either his mum or dad. Even matters that should be kept strictly between the couple find a way of getting to Wande’s parents. This embarrasses Gladys who finds it difficult discussing this with friends and confidants. But how would she handle this?

FOLA OLAFENWA
There should be modesty in all things. First, I won’t frown that he gives attention to his parents, but it should be balanced. There is no way a man would consider his parents or mother more paramount and would expect his wife to be happy. When he does this, he is indirectly frustrating her emotionally, psychologically, and is making her insecure. If that be the case, he should not have disturbed her by asking her out in marriage.

This also means he is not man enough to control his home. These are the types of men that are controlled by their mothers to either send their wives away or read out rules to her and he, the husband would remain quiet, even when the mother is maltreating or beating up his wife.
Such mothers are dangerous and should not be allowed to know what is going on in the family. Any mother-in-law I cannot also see as my mother is to be given a wide berth.

FOLASADE ODUNUGA
As a submissive wife and as one that wants success for her husband, the wife should talk to her husband in a friendly way about the issue. The Bible and Quran lay emphasis on the responsibilities of a good husband and wife. The husband is not responsible to his parents alone, but also to the extended families of their partners.

In the first instance, either of the uncles, aunt, niece, etc must have, in one way or the other, contributed towards the man’s achievement in life, be it morally, spiritually or financially. Agreed it is therefore his responsibilities to look after them.
Extended familes are very important in one’s life that, one can never do without in good or bad times. The husband must play his own part for them so that they will have a good record of him. The wife should let the husband know that they might need any kind of assistance from these extended familes later in life.
So, I will allow my husband contribute to his extended families.

JOY CHIKWE
In such a situation, I will make him understand the importance of oneness in marriage. If he refuses to take to correction or retire from his family, I will let him go because the result of his action is a reference point for me. Finally, it depends on the nature of woman in question and the level of maturity involved.

MODUPE
The fact still remains that the man is from a family. As a result, the woman shouldn’t be self-centered and keep her husband to herself alone. But in a situation whereby the man is totally taken away from his immediate family, then something has gone wrong.
The man should know that his relationship with his wife and extended family should be balanced. He is not expected to do things that will give the woman an emotional trauma or breakdown. She should not be made irrelevant in terms of decision making or honoring his family more than his wife.

But if I happen to be in that situation, first, I will have to visit his family especially when he is there with the mind of knowing things that make him happy while with his people. See how splendid he likes his mum’s dishes and learn how she does it. Then I will try to bring this into my home even more perfectly. I will also try not to allow my feelings overwhelm my reaction towards him.

I will sit him down when he is calm, probably at night, and let him see reasons why he needs to be acquainted with me and as well let him know how emotionally I am being traumatized with his actions.
Above it all, I will fight the battle on my knees because prayers is the master key to all unopened doors and as well ask God for divine wisdom to relate with him. I believe with God on my side, things shall be all right.

MRS. OBARO
If my in-laws still want my husband to continue living with them, it means the man himself doesn’t know what he wants. In other words, he is not man enough to go into decisions like marriage. It means he is not mature enough and cannot handle things on his own. That is disappointing of him. So let him remain his mummy’s boy at such age. maybe he would be wiser later in life when he is about 80 years.

FAITH OPARA
The first thing I would do is put him in prayers, so that his eyes can be opened and for him to see why his immediate family should come first. God will give him the mind of understanding and mature spirit to follow things the way I see them. I will tell him that placing his extended family first is not a bad thing, but it has taken the place of his immediate family, which is not good.
As a wife, my first responsibility should be my family, second thing is my job, third should be my extended family and my husband’s.

MRS. ODUNSI
It is always good for a man, when growing up to have discovered himself before deciding on what he wants. I see no reason for a man, whether he is the last child of his parents or not to forget that he is married and still stick to his mother or extended families than his own wife.
Doesn’t he know that we women easily believe what we are being told? How would it be if such a wife decides to stick to her own mother and extended families too and fails to give him full attention? It is not good, will not help the family and the children will suffer set-back.

EDITH OMENE
I will call men of God to persuade him, after I must have talked to him and he’s adamant. If he persists, I would let him be and follow him with wisdom.

HELEN IDOWU
There is nothing wrong in my husband giving attention to his extended families or mum. But being too tied to his mother does not show enough competence and maturity.
I believe before he asked for my hands in marriage, he must have realized that he was no longer a kid and that he could handle things all by himself. So, for him to have become mum’s pet has no better name to describe it.