Here are some VERY good reasons to buy a new car...

at 01:24 AM, 6/05/2010 (8 years ago)
(14726 | Hero) (m)
A car exactly like yours is featured in a display in your
local museum.

Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic

Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to
your steering wheel.

That plaque that says it was the first car ever driven by
land speed record breaker Barney Goldfield.

You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a

As you drive by people keep yelling, "Get a horse."

Your tires are so thin you can see the air inside them.

Your emergency brake consists of putting your leg through a
hole in the floorboard and dragging your foot on the pavement.

Whenever you hit a pothole or speed bump the engine falls out.

The total on your last repair bill equaled the GDP of a
certain small Asian nation.

The 15-Minute Jiffy Lube takes 3 days.

Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take
"The Club."

When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that
windshield for you?"

Replacement running boards just aren't made like they used
to be made.

Your "Super-Heterodyne radio" keeps drifting off signal.

As you're leaving the parking lot after the County Fair
demolition derby a salvage dealer offers you "50 bucks for
the carcass."

Two words: Ford Edsel

It might have something to do with that second "Totaled"
stamp your insurance adjuster put on the title after your
last fender bender.

Your 84 year old Mom drives a car that's sportier than

While waiting at a stop light, people run up asking if
anyone was hurt.

For the last five years, you've had to settle for making
"vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.

You keep losing dates on left turns.

The novelty of that hand crank starter is wearing off.

The Duct tape you used to replace that right front fender is
flagging again.

It hasn't been the same since "The" Henry Ford borrowed it.

Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

Sheenor at 01:24 AM, 6/05/2010 (8 years ago)
(14726 | Hero) (m)
But my God shall supply all your need according to his
riches in glory

waco at 01:38 PM, 19/07/2010 (7 years ago)
(10004 | Hero) (m)

PoliticxGuru at 10:45 AM, 24/08/2015 (2 years ago)
(14305 | Hero) (m)
kp45 at 03:05 PM, 16/12/2015 (2 years ago)
(6577 | Gistmaniac) (m)
emma4love3 at 10:52 PM, 10/03/2016 (2 years ago)
(14591 | Hero) (m)
thank you for the lectures...


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