Learn to say NO!

Date: 30-06-2010 8:55 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Bittersweet
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- at 30-06-2010 08:55 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Saying NO can be very difficult. People with low self-esteem very often have a lack of assertiveness and think they have to meet the expectations of everyone. It is very hard for them to set limits with others. They sometimes feel ashamed or guilty if they would say NO. But to do things against your will and possibilities will end up in feeling used and resentful.

A simple and direct "NO, I am not able to help you with that" is the best solution. If you want to (have to) give an explanation you should keep it simple:"NO, I have already made an another appointment for this time" or "NO, sorry. I am afraid I have to decline because I have no spare time."

Other ways of saying NO:

    * I can´t do this right now.
    * NO, thanks. Not this time. Thank you for asking.
    * Sorry, but NO.
    * Please accept that I cannot come.
    * I´d rather not.

To say an assertive NO you should:

    * Start the sentence with the word NO
    * Shake your head and use nonverbal assertiveness to underline your NO. Your voice should be clear and direct. Keep eye contact.

If someone makes a request it is fair to ask for time to think it over. The decision should be up to you, but sometimes it is difficult to say NO right now. You can try to use an empathic NO, if you would have helped under different circumstances:

"Sorry, no. I would have kept your cat next weekend. But my husband and I will be off for visit. I know it will be hard to find someone to take care off the cat. I will try to help you next time." Remember : Saying NO is a very honourable response. You have the right to say "No"!


Posted: at 30-06-2010 08:55 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
- diplomatik at 30-06-2010 08:59 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
NO! i'm not gonna read all of this Grin

Posted: at 30-06-2010 08:59 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 30-06-2010 09:01 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: diplomatik on 30-06-2010 08:59 PM
NO! i'm not gonna read all of this Grin

It's up to you!

Posted: at 30-06-2010 09:01 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 30-06-2010 09:09 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: diplomatik on 30-06-2010 08:59 PM
NO! i'm not gonna read all of this Grin

It's good that you already know though  Smiley

Posted: at 30-06-2010 09:09 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Ceenod at 30-06-2010 10:05 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Thanks..

Posted: at 30-06-2010 10:05 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- Umbrella at 30-06-2010 10:10 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Interesting!
Some ppl do find it difficult to say no esp to their friends.
personally, i no send!!! highest u can do it cut off all form of contact with me
if i dnt wna do it i dnt wna do it. end of!
Posted: at 30-06-2010 10:10 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Ceenod at 30-06-2010 10:21 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Umbrella on 30-06-2010 10:10 PM
Interesting!
Some ppl do find it difficult to say no esp to their friends.
personally, i no send!!! highest u can do it cut off all form of contact with me
if i dnt wna do it i dnt wna do it. end of!
r u sayn u wont mind if ur closest of friends cut off all contact wiv u?

Posted: at 30-06-2010 10:21 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Umbrella at 30-06-2010 10:23 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
i dnt hv a CLOSEST friend...but i do have close friends
and they dnt roll like that...and so wont end a friendship cos i said no.
so, there u go;)
Posted: at 30-06-2010 10:23 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 06:50 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Ceenod on 30-06-2010 10:05 PM
Thanks..

You're welcome

Posted: at 1-07-2010 06:50 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 06:59 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Umbrella on 30-06-2010 10:10 PM
Interesting!
Some ppl do find it difficult to say no esp to their friends.
personally, i no send!!! highest u can do it cut off all form of contact with me
if i dnt wna do it i dnt wna do it. end of!

Yes!
Sometimes ppl take advantage of the inability of ppl who can't say No!There's the problem

Posted: at 1-07-2010 06:59 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- priceless87 at 1-07-2010 08:21 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
[b]
Quote from: bittersweet on  1-07-2010 06:59 AM
Quote from: Umbrella on 30-06-2010 10:10 PM
Interesting!
Some ppl do find it difficult to say no esp to their friends.
personally, i no send!!! highest u can do it cut off all form of contact with me
if i dnt wna do it i dnt wna do it. end of!

Yes!
Sometimes ppl take advantage of the inability of ppl who can't say No!There's the problem
[/b][/color]


yes I agree with you, sometimes pple take advantage of ones inability to say NO for weeakness or low self esteem. Talking from experience.

the perfect solution is saying a capital NO, before it gets out of hand
Posted: at 1-07-2010 08:21 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 08:23 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: priceless87 on  1-07-2010 08:21 AM
[b]
Quote from: bittersweet on  1-07-2010 06:59 AM
Quote from: Umbrella on 30-06-2010 10:10 PM
Interesting!
Some ppl do find it difficult to say no esp to their friends.
personally, i no send!!! highest u can do it cut off all form of contact with me
if i dnt wna do it i dnt wna do it. end of!

Yes!
Sometimes ppl take advantage of the inability of ppl who can't say No!There's the problem
[/b][/color]


yes I agree with you, sometimes pple take advantage of ones inability to say NO for weeakness or low self esteem. Talking from experience.

the perfect solution is saying a capital NO, before it gets out of hand

Agree!

Posted: at 1-07-2010 08:23 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blings_is_back at 1-07-2010 10:18 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
PASSING AND SAYING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:18 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 10:20 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: blings_is_back on  1-07-2010 10:18 AM
PASSING AND SAYING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It's good that you know how to say it,but most important is to know when to say it!

Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:20 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blings_is_back at 1-07-2010 10:34 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
still saying my NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:34 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 10:35 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: blings_is_back on  1-07-2010 10:34 AM
still saying my NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Good

Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:35 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- blings_is_back at 1-07-2010 10:55 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
ok no is good eh?
Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:55 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 10:56 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: blings_is_back on  1-07-2010 10:55 AM
ok no is good eh?

Sometimes is the best

Posted: at 1-07-2010 10:56 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Agatex at 1-07-2010 11:57 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
no no no, each time i say no pple say am rigid
Posted: at 1-07-2010 11:57 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- bittersweet at 1-07-2010 11:58 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Agatex on  1-07-2010 11:57 AM
no no no, each time i say no pple say am rigid

Let them talk

Posted: at 1-07-2010 11:58 AM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
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