Youngstoriez at 30-03-2011 02:31 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Here are four strategies that never work - yet people always try:
Which of these strategies are you trying right now?
1. The first is to give them reassurance. "I've changed. I won't be controlling anymore. I won't lie to you anymore. I won't have another affair," and so forth. The efforts to give them reassurance. This almost never works.
2. The second strategy is to tell them over and over again, "I love you." That never works.
3. The third strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to talk them into feeling different or doing different. That never works. If you talk about where they are wrong, they become more wrong. And if you talk about where they are right, they immediately become less wrong.
They do not want a divorce from somebody who's always pleasant and is always seeing their side and always agreeing with them.
That's not the person they're pulling away from.
They're pulling away from the person who disagrees with them.
People don't want to be married to somebody who's holding a gun on them.
"You owe me love because we're married. You've got to love me because we're married."
No, no. You've got to get rid of the hostility before their good feelings can show. And their hostility may seem to you like it's totally independent of anything that you do.
No!
You are supporting their negativism by your attitude of needing and pressuring and whining and complaining, and trying to argue for your way.
Just enthusiastically see it their way. 4. Pessimism. We become addicted to our pessimism.
Three Things You Can Start Doing Right Away To Turn The Tide In Your Favor...
2. Agree with anything your mate says or does. Put a good name on it. Agree with their negative feelings. 3. Act perfectly happy about everything as it is.
Posted: at 30-03-2011 02:31 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
shaoyang at 30-03-2011 05:35 AM (13 years ago) (m)
No!
Posted: at 30-03-2011 05:35 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
shaoyang
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