Relationship Advice: Why Do Spouses Cheat And Can Cheating Be Prevented?

at 03:16 PM, 15 Dec 08 (8 years ago)
(28 | Newbie) (m)
Statistics say that seventy-five percent of all married men in the United States are unfaithful to their wives. It is a scary statistic — even more grim that the divorce rate! Also, of the men who cheat, two-thirds of their wives are unaware of the affairs that their husbands are having. I guess that a good man really is hard to find. And men aren’t alone — wives are also cheating on their husbands more than ever. Take a look at some of the common causes of cheating, and how they can be avoided:

 

LACK OF SEXUAL INTIMACY WITHIN THE MARRIAGE

If you and your spouse have stopped being intimate with each other, or if you have drastically decreased the frequency of your intimacy, then your relationship is going to suffer. Sex is an integral part of a marriage. It is a way to share something with each other that is personal and loving, and the connection that you share during sex creates a deeper connection between the two of you that extends to all areas of your life. Although it can be difficult for many couples to find the time in their busy schedules, juggling work and family and household, it is important to make intimacy a priority, even if that means scheduling time for it. If you are too tired at the end of the day to have sex, get up for an early lovemaking session, or slip away for some private time together on a Sunday afternoon. Maintain excitement between the two of you by integrating foreplay into your everyday lives. Call your husband at work, and tell him how eager you are to be with him tonight. Leave a naughty note in your wife’s car before she leaves for work. Wear lingerie sometimes, rather than just flopping into bed in your sweatpants and t-shirt. Light candles. Hold hands. Keep the romance alive! When you have been with someone for many years, sometimes you forget that it is the little things that make the biggest difference.

 
LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY WITHIN THE MARRIAGE

Married couples develop a silent form of communication between one another, but you can’t eliminate verbal communication from a relationship altogether. Couples who co-exist as if they were roommates are at risk for losing the friendship side of their relationship. Talk to your spouse about your day — make it a dinner-time ritual. After dinner, don’t park in front of the television. Just sit together, and share you thoughts and feelings. It can feel as if the two of you have nothing to say to each other sometimes — as if you know it all about each other, but unless you have consistent communication, you will grow further apart, and turn into strangers. You will long for an emotionally intimate relationship, and that is why many married people stray from their mate.

SEXUAL ADDICTION

Sexual addiction is one of the worst afflictions that a married person can possess. Someone with a sexual addiction craves different sexual partners and lots of sex, and it can be as hard an addiction to conquer as drinking or drug use. It can be hard to comprehend, and very hard to forgive because when someone cheats on you, it feels like the ultimate betrayal. If you or your spouse has a sexual addiction, then you should seek professional help. If you have a partner with sexual addiction who refuses treatment, then you should leave the relationship to avoid the inevitable devastation you would encounter with a sexual addict for a spouse.

MID-LIFE CRISIS AFFAIRS

The severity of a mid-life crisis varies from person to person. Many struggle to come to grips with their own mortality, and they want to make sure that they get the most out of their life experience. Some men buy a red sports car, some women rush out for plastic surgery, and some men and women stray from their relationships, often looking for a younger sexual partner to add some spice to their life. If you notice that your partner is struggling to come to terms with aging, then you have to be a comfort to them. Remind them how much you love them, and be willing to be adventurous together. Instead of dreading aging, embrace and enjoy it together. You might consider traveling together, or getting involved in a new hobby, such as sailing. If you or your spouse is having a severely hard time, then you should seek professional help.

LIFESTYLE CHANGES

Major shifts in lifestyle can add tumult to a marriage. It could be a new job that requires very long hours and a very stressful set of responsibilities. It could be moving to a new home in a new city. It could be the birth of a child, or the death of a family member, or an unforeseen financial disaster. When our lives drastically change, we have to make adjustments in our marriages to accommodate the changes. Communicate with your spouse — share your concerns with each other. Try to change and deal with change together so that your relationship is actually strengthened by stresses in the long run. If you start leading entirely separate lives, then you are more likely to enter into an affair.

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