We have been together for a year and a half now. Nine months into the tumultuous relationship, he broke the news to me and told me that he had made another girl pregnant just before we started dating. He attributed his previous moodiness and other mean acts to the fact that he was going through a difficult period because of the heavy secret he was bearing. He had know the girl for a very short time before the accident happened, and felt trapped. Background info: he already has another child from another woman whom he never married. Needless to say, I felt hurt beyond words and slipped into a state of near mental breakdown. Nonetheless I did not walk away because commitments had already been made i.e parents involved and in our tradition you know that things are not taken lightly when they reach that point. He has since moved away from the UK to Germany where both babymamas reside. He has told me that his decision to go back was purely professional. The result was the same: I was left here in London alone to fend for myself. He has since said that he wanted to get married and have me moved over there. I still feel confused as I am not there to witness his life and the relationships he entertains with these women. Additionally he had kept this whole baby secret hidden from his parents and so have I on my side. How can I even start breaking it down to them? I have not reconciled myself to the idea and he tells me nothing of that new/other side of his life so as to keep us separate and avoid complications. I have had a hard time finding trust in him again. I will not go into details but he has faulted on other occasions: online dating despite all the drama, extreme stingyness (not even xmas or birthday presents), insists on half half division despite him making 4 times my salary, insensitive/westernized attitude towards the parents…he has repeatedly withdrawn from commitments. I want to get married, but at what price? What life awaits me there, facing two babymamas and their ambitions when I have not even started my own life? What of his parents when they found out? Who will end up with the blame when God knows I was kept in the dark until the very last minute? Now I am considering dropping everything – work, friends and family- here to go and try to make a life over there because I am constantly reminded that clocks are ticking a thousand times faster for us women, scared at the prospects of having to start from scratch again, of being accused of selfishness and career obsession…no relationship is perfect after all and many things remain unsaid. It is just that I feel completely lost and today I am only a shadow of the person that I once was. All opinions are welcome.