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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Jona badluck, BEWARE |
on: 10-01-2012 12:19 AM
| | In diz life, there are 2 things involvd:
Its either u'r a President, or u'r amng d masses.
If u'r amng d masses u'r safe, but if u're d president, there are 2 thngs involvd.
Its either u let Ur Finance Minister resign or u remove fuel subsidy.
If ur Finance Minista resign, u'r safe. But if u remove subsidy, ther are 2 thngs involvd.
Its either the HOUSE impeach u or the Millitary plot "coup de tat" againts u.
If d HOUSE impeach u, u're safe, but if d Millitary plot coup against u, There's only 1 thng involvd, "U WILL DIE". Badluck Jonathan BEWARE. | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Naija Airline |
on: 17-10-2011 04:36 PM
| | I hope you enjoy reading this, it's a bit long but funny. Please enjoy.
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Enjoy Nigeria Airways | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Dry Brain Posters |
on: 17-10-2011 04:05 PM
| | Happy to post for this forum
I b think sey e good make we no just turn the forum to only jokes forum.
...No hard feelings... I hear sey some poster dey wey dem brain dry die.
So, here are little questions to test ur brain to knw if truly u b DRY BRAIN or WET BRAIN:
Oya,
1. When in a race, you overtake the 3rd person, what position are U?
2. If U overtake the last person, what position would u be?
3. Tom's mother has three children. One is named April, one is named May. What is the third one named?
4. A man is wearing black suit, black hat, black gloves... black all thru and he's walking down the black street with all the
street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
5. What seven-letter word has hundreds of letters in it? | | | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Dem both no well |
on: 17-10-2011 03:34 PM
| | FAT WOMAN: i hate that scale
THIN WOMAN: why?
FAT WIMAN: any time i step on it, it says, "one at a time please"
THIN WOMAN: me too, any time i step on it, the pointer does not move. | | | | |
