@mchinwendu

You are so right and you seriously took the words out of my mouth, I could not have said those statements any better.  Thanks for taking the time to write such an in-depth post!  Hopefully people will read it and become less subject to harsh racism and racial stereotyping.  It's true what they say that there's only one race and that's the human race.  God bless =]

Okay, I'm not sure who this post was meant for but I'm assuming it's me.  First of all, I AM Nigerian 100% born & raised in Benin City until I was 8.  I was born in Nigeria and I absolutely love my culture and am very proud of it.  Nigerians in the U.S. have the highest number of college degrees than any other ethnic/racial group in America.  If that's not something to be proud of, then I don't know what is.  How am I raining insults on a nation when in multiple cases I've stated that SOME Nigerians think backwardly?  I still have family in Nigeria and to speak negatively of an entire country would mean to speak negatively of my family and I was not raised in such a manner.  This post can be extended in regards to all human beings from all backgrounds.  Of course there are bad apples among each group.  My issue isn't only against racist Nigerians, it's against any individual from any ethnicity who thinks he or she has cultural superiority over others...because no such thing exists.  Yes I'm aware that other races or cultures are prejudice against nigerians and africans.  Especially since all these email scams came up, Nigerians have been looked down upon by a lot of people in the US and all over the world.  And yes I've experienced racism FIRST HAND because of my skin color.  But do I let it bother me? No.  Because any individual who has hatred or racism towards any group of people is already less than worth my time.  I respect my cultures' high moral and ethical standards because those same standards are what molded me into the person I am today.  But the point of this post was to explore the reason behind SOME Nigerians' racial limitation on relationships even with all the moral and ethical standards we have.  So all the points you just made are invalid because you jumped to several assumptions about me and my thought process while posting your comment.  In no way am I putting down "an entire nation."  All I'm saying is that there are aspects of my culture that I love, but there are also certain individuals who REPRESENT that culture and give it a bad name with their prejudice, backwards way of thinking.  I posted about NIGERIANS' prejudice against interracial relationships because this is a NIGERIAN forum.  This is not the UN where I can rant about all races under one roof.  Upon all this, YES Nigeria as a nation still has a lot to work on and this includes all facets of our lifestyle.  Just because we're proud of who we are doesn't make us exempt to constructive criticism.

Thank you for that and yes I do feel that being black anywhere one has to tread with caution in all interactions.  I do think that's with choosing any friend or mate though as one of my friends' father is a chronic cheater and constantly beats his wife and both are nigerian.  If someone has a tendency to be violent it's a characteristic that has small hints which can be seen early on in the relationship.  It's shameful that the police haven't encouraged a restraining order or something of that sort to stop the harassment geared towards your daughter.  That's a truly sad story.

I'm very much aware of America's racial issues but surprisingly most American whites are more supportive of interracial relationships than other countries give them credit for.  Marriage is the furthest thing on my mind but I have previously dated a white guy and his family was completely fine with it and his mom loved me.  Things didn't work out between us because he had horrible control issues and was far too clingy for my liking but it was an okay relationship.  I'm not really attracted to other Nigerians (I have yet to figure out why) and white boys aren't generally my cup of tea but whoever comes along will be fine by me no matter the race.  In America not all white people hate blacks but the statement about the family lynching you is a bit over the top given the modern times that we're in.  I find that the people most racist towards blacks here are actually other minorities!  It's absolutely ridiculous but hey it is what it is. 

Thank you for your post.  I refer to race probably due to habit because in the U.S. we're grouped into different races...black/African, hispanic, asian, pacific islander, e.t.c.  I do believe that one can marry outside of his or her own culture without feeling a sense of division.  Of course there are going to be compromises on both individuals' parts but I truly feel that one shouldn't have to decide between love and their family's desires.  I feel that if someone doesn't agree with your culture, then they wouldn't be in a relationship with you in the first place.  A person's culture is in essence, who they are.  It's what comprises that individuals' code of ethics, tradition, and life perspective.  Someone who doesn't agree with your culture wouldn't bother showing interest in you from the beginning but that's just my opinion.

I'm aware that not all nigerians share that same view and yes I agree that it's a matter of a choice.

Thanks for giving a somewhat logical explanation but some points are still off to me.  Where in the bible does it say to marry from your own race by the way?  Aren't we all created equal? smh -__-

I'm still quite young and marriage is not on my mind at the moment.  My main focus is my academics so this topic is something I've observed over the years.  No need to jump at assumptions especially over the internet.

Lol did writing that bit of information make you feel better about yourself?  Of course I'll marry whoever I want, it's simply a discussion forum!  Maybe this topic just irritates you and that's why you refer to it as barking.  Oh well, have a nice browsing experience.

Sexting with someone other than your mate IS cheating! No if ands or buts about it

I don't know which area of the U.S. you're living in, but where I'm at, Nigerians are actually trying to get their kids to ONLY consider marrying other nigerians.  Yes, I understand and am very knowledgeable about the fact that Nigerians marry people from different cultures.  My aunt is married to a white man and my cousin has a child with a Mexican woman.  The point of this discussion was to get other perspectives on why the older generation is against Nigerian and non-Nigerian mating.  That's all.

Actually, I was born in Nigeria.  Yes I understand your points but once again you say "Western" in which case I'm assuming you're referring to only Nigerian-White coupling/marriage.  There are sooooo many other cultures besides just white people.  I have indian and asian friends whose cultures also involve bringing both families together whenever there are marital issues.  Once again, as I said before, the nigerian standards of marriage aren't limited to Nigerians only.  I won't get into the subject of homosegxwality for the simple fact that it's a touchy subject and far too complex to go into but trust me, people who have failed marriages don't just wake up one day and decide that they're homosegxwals all of a sudden.  It's funny that you say Nigerians come together to solve marital problems because a family friend and his wife were contemplating divorce and after the entire nigerian community wasted their time and breath for about 6 months they still divorced anyway!  Family/community involvement helps but it does not guarantee marital stability or happiness.

Then that was a wrong choice of words on my part.  The word that was missing from those sentences is most.  I wouldn't say some, because a majority of us have that superiority complex.  So yes, most nigerians have a false sense of racial and cultural superiority.  In fact I have yet to meet one who doesn't think the sun shines out their behind.  Just stating what I've observed.

There are thousands of other people besides "akata."  Gosh I hate that word it's so demeaning.  Anyway, yes I can understand where you're coming from but there are other cultures which harbor the same moral and ethical standards that nigerians do as well.  And not all American-born blacks fit into the negative stereotype that you claim.  I personally am not attracted to "akata" or whatever but as people some of them are well-meaning individuals who are educated with high moral standards.  On the other hand, nigerians tend to hail as if their marriages are the cream of the crop when in reality I've seen nigerian marriages that are in shambles.  They hesitate showing it in public but you can tell they are absolutely MISERABLE.  I actually know Nigerians who have gotten divorced yet so many of us act as if such a thing doesn't exist among us.  The point I'm trying to drive across is that all the qualities we tend to think are only limited to Nigerians can be found in individuals from many other cultures.  It's a thing of preference I agree but there's no need to disallow someone to marry who they please because it doesn't suit your desires.  Nigerians definitely have a false sense of cultural or racial superiority and many of us act as if our sh*t don't stink.  We're so quick to point out the flaws in others without looking at ourselves first and that is why I think Nigeria can be such a backward nation at times.  As a people we still have a whole lot to work on in my honest opinion.

I've noticed here in the states that Nigerians tend to be against interracial relationships and marriages.  I'm not sure what the perception is in Nigeria but it's clear that here in America a majority of the migrant Nigerian population is against allowing their children to marry outside of their race.  We can argue about divorce rates, family respect, and all the other circumstances and excuses that are used to counter-attack interracial relationships but my question is why are most of our people so against it other than pure racist tendencies?





  I've heard many different sides to this but no one is yet to give me a valid, logical explanation for it.  Some individuals from other ethnic groups have this narrow-mindedness as well, especially many indians and people of asian and hispanic cultures.  In my opinion, it all seems foolish.  If someone is in love and has the financial, academic, and psychological maturity and security to do so, why stop them simply because their partner is not of the same racial or ethnic group?  A quote from an unknown author I read states:  "Supremacists can never make a sound argument using logic and fact because the premise of the superiority of any race in itself is illogical and based on lies."  Any thoughts regarding this issue?

Does anybody know the artist and name of the song played in the beginning of this video?  I've been searching everywhere for months.  Thanks in advance! Hot Party in Benin city