A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender: "Well, FIRST you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can`t make a face while doing it. SECOND, there`s a `gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. THIRD, there`s a woman up-stairs who`s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her.

Man: Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won`t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and the requirements get crazier from there.

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where`s that woman with the sore tooth?"

A little girl and her mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.
The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"
The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds.""

Where did you learn that?"The little girl said, "I just know.

 And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

       A mother is going over to son's house, who happened to be just married.

　　She knocks on the door, and her daughter-in-law answers, naked.　　The mother is shocked, and goes, "Why are you walking around the house naked?"

　　The new wife replies, "Well, this is my love dress, and when I wear this dress, my husband get's really excited."　　The mother ponders over this for a while, then goes home.

　　After a little more thinking, the mother decides to try it on her husband when he gets home.　　So when her husband knocks on the door, she answers it, naked.

　　The husband looks her up and down.
 　　Then asks, "Why in the world are you walking around the house naked?!"

　　So the mother explains, "This is my love dress." 　　The husband looks shocked, and then replies, "Well, it needs to be ironed!"

VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION (Pls read til the end )

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to ...his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely , sir.

Professor: Is GOD Good ? Student :

Sure. Professor: Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

 (Student was silent )

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good ?

Student : No. Professor: Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere , isn't it ? And GOD did make everything . Correct?

Student : Yes. Professor: So who created evil ?

 (Student did not answer)

Professor: Is there Sickness? Immorality ? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, who Created them ?

 (Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

 Professor: Yet you still Believe in HIM?

 Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrab le Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor: Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

 Professor: Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

 Professor: Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn't.

 (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

 (There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light constantly , you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

 Professor: So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

 Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophi cal Premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricit y and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantiv e Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutiona ry Process, yes, of course, I do.

 Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

 (The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

 Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

 (The Class was in Uproar )

 Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor' s Brain?

 (The Class broke out into Laughter )

 Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor' s Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Establishe d Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrab le Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomab le)

 Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly ! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

 The name of the student ALBERT EINSTEIN

not really fun...but you'll find it intellectually interesting.....

VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION (Pls read til the end ) An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to ...his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . . Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, you Believe in GOD ? Student : Absolutely , sir. Professor: Is GOD Good ? Student : Sure. Professor: Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ? Student : Yes. Professor: My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm? (Student was silent ) Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good? Student : Yes. Professor: Is Satan good ? Student : No. Professor: Where does Satan come from ? Student : From . . . GOD . . . Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World? Student : Yes. Professor: Evil is everywhere , isn't it ? And GOD did make everything . Correct? Student : Yes. Professor: So who created evil ? (Student did not answer) Professor: Is there Sickness? Immorality ? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they? Student : Yes, sir. Professor: So, who Created them ? (Student had no answer) Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD? Student : No, sir. Professor: Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD? Student : No , sir. Professor: Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter? Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't. Professor: Yet you still Believe in HIM? Student : Yes. Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrab le Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith. Professor: Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has. Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat? Professor: Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as Cold? Professor: Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn't. (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events ) Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it. (There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre ) Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness? Professor: Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness? Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light constantly , you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you? Professor: So what is the point you are making, Young Man ? Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophi cal Premise is flawed. Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how? Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricit y and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantiv e Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey? Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutiona ry Process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going ) Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher? (The Class was in Uproar ) Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor' s Brain? (The Class broke out into Laughter ) Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor' s Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Establishe d Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrab le Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir? (The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomab le) Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son. Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly ! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving. The name of the student ALBERT EINSTEIN