Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender,"I'm so pissed off!""Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely."See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window andhang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on.

"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!

stolen from kaypeetee. An old man goes to the wizard to ask him, if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.the wizard says, maybe but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.the old man says without hesitation ... "I now pronounce you, man and wife"

i was wit a guy 4 couple of month and i went out of the country i came back after some month
and e want us to b to gether again cuz e was so much inlove with me but i dont want him....one sunday i was clubbin with friends and e came holding me so close dont want to let go....i became nevours and hit him wit bottle on his face.....this is everlasting mark but e was still sayin is inlove with me if i want i should come  and starb him more. pls pals tell me what to do with him......................................