Really wierd i think

    A boy after failing at so many things in his life was tired of life and decided to commit suicide so he took a rope and went into the bush.
     Just then a farmer was passing by and saw the boy hung to a tree with the rope at his waist and the farmer asked BOY WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO and the boy replied I AM TIRED OF LIFE AND I WANT TO TAKE MY LIFE. and the farmer really surprised asked the boy THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE ROPE HUNG ON YOUR WAIST and the boy replied WELL I TRIED HANGING FROM MY NECK BUT IT WAS CHOCKING ME SO ME SO I DECIDED TO PUT IT ON MY WAIST.

A man after having sex with his house maid says to her "HMMM.. EKAETE YOU ARE SO SWEET" and ekaete smiles and says to her oga "OGA THANK YOU O JARE AND DAT YEYE GATEMAN DEY ALWAYS FOLLOW ME ARGUE SAY NA MADAM SWEET PASS"

                             A Chinese man went to eat in a high class restaurant , and as he was about eating       Steven spielberg walked in.
                  Really excited he runs to spielberg and says "Please can i have your autograph" but spielberg gives him a huge slap and says "Your country killed a generation of American soldiers" and the man says"no i am Chinese it was the Vietnamese" but spielberg says " Vietnamese , Chinese, Japanese u are all the same"
                 The Chinese man really devastated looks at spielberg and gives him a much bigger slap and says "you are the reason the titanic sank" really surprised spielberg turns to him and says " no it was the icebergs" and the Chinese an said "well iceberg, carlsberg, spielberg u are all the same". 

A young nun was sent to a new parish where she was to take care of the old parish priest which included bathing him.Seriously afraid and confused she ran to the old nun of the parish and asked what she should do and the old nun said to her " IF YOU WANT TO BE SAVED , DO WHAT EVER HE SAYS".
              The next morning while bathing the priest, she starts to wash between his legs and notices something hard and she asks "FATHER WHAT IS THAT" and the priest replies "THATS THE KEY TO HEAVEN IF IT FITS INTO YOUR HOLE YOU WILL BE SAVED" . the young nun really excited told the priest to check if the key to heaven fits into her hole.
             When the priest was through he said to the young nun "YOU ARE SAVED BUT COME BACK REGULARLY TO CHECK IT STILL FITS". Really happy the young nun runs to the old nun and asked her if she had been saved and the old nun asked why and the young nun told her what happened with the priest. but the old nun frowned and screamed "BASTARD"
             Really surprised the young nun asked "MOTHER! WHY THE YOU CURSE"  and the old nun said "HE TOLD ME IT WAS GIDEON'S HORN AND I HAVE BEEN BLOWING IT FOR THE PAST 20YRS

Please don't laugh loud. In United States of America they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out to different countries for a test. · USA, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,· Ghana, in 10 minutes it caught 6000 thieves,· Nigeria, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen....