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41  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / PRESIDENT PUZZLE on: 22-11-2008 11:20 PM
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.

"How long did it take you?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
42  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / SENSITIVE BEER on: 22-11-2008 11:11 PM
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."

She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"

And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.
43  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / THE MOST GRUESOME DEATH on: 22-11-2008 10:25 PM
There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.

The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."

The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''Please God spare my life" and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."

It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick''s refrigerator....."
44  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / DEATH ROW IN WOMEN'S PRISON on: 22-11-2008 10:11 PM
Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
45  Forum / Sports / Who is the best? torress, ronaldo or messi on: 22-11-2008 09:36 PM
With the qualities of this players been mentioned,and with last season rating in all competitions played.from ur own perspectives who do you think is the best......
46  Forum / Relationships & Romance / STEPS on: 22-11-2008 09:23 PM
There are various steps u need to take before u go into any relationship;
1.make sure u are careful enough and have study the guy/lady befor toasting.
2.there must be affection between both parties
3.make it known to each other that there is agape love
4.robb mind together and open up to each other
5.solve problems affecting ur courting together....
47  Forum / Relationships & Romance / what are the pride of a good woman on: 6-11-2008 02:17 AM
Can u just tell some of the pride of a good woman
48  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: I feel under appreciated...guys I need your advise on: 2-11-2008 08:50 PM
Quote from: Ms_KiKi on 27-10-2008 02:22 PM
Am in love with my boyfried now but before we ever got together, I was with another person.  he never gaved up asking me to be his girlfriend even though he knew I was already in a long distance relationship. as time when by I realised that I would gave him a chance as my previous relationships wasn't working. now we've been together for a month...he treats me nice but sometimes I feel like he's taking me for granted. Also I dont really trust him as my decisions in previous relationships hve been wrong. I really love this guy but I wish I can uderstand him because one minute I feel he really loves me than the next he acts funny. I dont want my piatience to run out. Guys please help me.........

hey,what u need to do is to carefully look at this guy u are talking about,u have to take ur time to study this guy before u know if he really loves u or not.dont just make decision and come to conclusion.
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