"blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God"

@ D_man more like deres 1 person dat has a sense of humor...dude if we're talkin fans man!!!amm the ish..ask of me man...ma fans are more than the number of pple you'll ever see in ur life

thanks jorr daysolar!!wen betta person open mouth talk na dis kin betta yarns dey commot..abeg u bi correct person

being holy has no correlation with this thread at all..if we were 2 make a comparism with anything..I'ld say its encouraging 9ja babes 2 catch their fun but under cover because sadly as we all know its still a "man's world"

This blog which I obviously copied and pasted...is titled 30 commandements to be the perfect wife for a Nigerian man...It can only be appreciated by people who have a sense of humor..I didnt write it but I can bet on an arm and leg that the person who did didn't expect that you'ld give up ur life 2 follow dis rules

btw dis was adapted..i didnt write..

1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)

2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.

3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged and raw "tell it as it is" girls, NOT WERKING.

4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky "soul" sisters… FORGET IT).

5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)

6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!!

7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL

8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).

9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves).

10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows)

11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order

12. Thou shall not be a "posh sturvs". Sushi or lasagne…uh ..Really?

13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING.

14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.

15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)

16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABORMINATION)

17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends.

18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy

19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or segxwal imagination prior to meeting him. Let him "teach" you.

20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r'n'b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).

21. Thou shall NOT be an independent woman. (all those "I can pay my own bills" bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!

22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).

23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).

24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE.

25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY.

26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don't be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS).

27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated

28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always

29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).

30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU ARE FINISHED....It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.....

LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS.

Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2. And we know that all the commandments before suggests that you must be a babe on POINT constantly.

You have to FIND A WAY TO WORK AROUND THIS HAIR NET ISSUES. Statistics dictates that one in two marriages FAIL due to this.

lmao..

1 way 2 prevent the last minute crash is typically each time i walk into the mall am like..wow!!dat jacket or shirt is totally him.....jus keep gatherin stuff plus...u know the other simple stuff he likes..SURPRISE HIM!!!no longtin

OMG!!!D GUY !!! ur jokes are hiliarious..i've been followin dem from page 20..U MADE ME MISS MA CLASS!!!!lol....gud job thou..9ja 4 life man!!

There is this guy in my school...He plays football and he is like the hottest guy in the entire school. He is really nice and he likes me. But the problem is that he has a girlfriend. My sister thinks I should forget about him but I have liked him for the longest time. Plus I always put peoples feelings before mine- can't we just be friends at least. I know its good to put people first but I cannot do that for the rest of my life-can I?

HMM OMG!!! Wat is happening to our blessed jtown "home of peace and tourism"..it's turnin into the home of political unrest... agod help us and protect our families..God ma family oh..hmmm na wah oh..This useless election of a thing wats the point of fightin wen the damn thing will be rigged anyway..*hiss*

haha...naija pals..is freakin hilarious..this is  d 1st bulletin board i've followed n i've been lmao...hmm nigerians are blessed wit the gift of humor.....1 love

  ma goodness ..dang!!!the kin lenghty replies on dis thread dat are so annoyin..i suspect dat sm pple think dat everyone on 9ja pals is interested in the longtins they have 2 say..keep it short abeg..n 1 more thing it's called spell check don't give us eye problem

  lmao!!hey i have an idea..if the topic is so damn senseless as y'all claim dont give it as much as a glance..and spare us ur dry yarns..everybody is sayin d sm damn tin