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24601  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T on: 19-07-2009 06:41 AM
men u're too good
24602  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: the world is coming to an end on: 19-07-2009 06:09 AM
u need anti-rabis injection b4 the world ends u dog Grin
24603  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: the world is coming to an end on: 18-07-2009 10:51 PM
my guys believe it na true ooh i don sell my lappy self
24604  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / the world is coming to an end on: 18-07-2009 10:46 PM
everybody in the house i only want to tell u and u alone that the whole world will become history in the next 3days so i beg u all to do what u wanna do now b4 its too late,right now i have withdrawn all my money in the bank,guess what i'm doing with the money i'm drinking as much as possible.all the girls wey dey do shakara b4 i don take my money electric shock them dem don gree for me now i just dey flex like king solomon i dont want to leave any unfinished bizness .and by the time the world ends i will be one of those that will say mission accomplished.......so my hommies no dull yourself bcos all of una get just 3days to perform wonders for u guys let no beer go unsipped and let no chick go scot free and for u girls well...dont know what to say but u can't ask for credit now cos u wont need it ,so  i guess u beg your guys now to give u the pleasure of a lifetime even your "ex" pls swallow your pride and beg them cos if u fail to do it now u may neva get a chance again i rest my case....................i hope to see u all in paradise
24605  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: common traits of bus conductors on: 18-07-2009 10:30 PM
Quote from: teeco on 18-07-2009 09:32 AM
Quote from: KleverC on 17-07-2009 12:50 PM
Quote from: McBona on 17-07-2009 01:43 AM
They are not always ugly. . .  I don't think is true
u've a point
E be like say you don do conductor b4
my chairman no mind dem be conductors they are trying to fight their course
24606  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: common traits of bus conductors on: 15-07-2009 07:03 AM
hate it or love it
24607  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / common traits of bus conductors on: 15-07-2009 06:57 AM
they are always ugly
2-they are very rude
3-they have a voice of an hippopotamus
4-they are ruthless
5-in ibadan if u speak pidgin to them they won't ask for money(they wont know how to ask u in pidgin)
6-in lagos just speak queen's english and your transport fare is free(no pidgin 4 lagos ooh nearly all of them fit speak am
7-they neva stop quarrelling with there boss(driver)
8-they hate having to deal with very beautifu girls
9-they can't be traced cos they have no home
10-they drink shepe and paraga with the little they make
11-and at the end they impregnate the shepe woman 12yr old daughter
24608  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: obj and death on: 15-07-2009 06:47 AM
Quote from: federico on  3-07-2009 09:20 PM
boring..
thanx for saying its boring
24609  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: HOW CAN I WASH VIDEOS IN NAIJAPAL on: 15-07-2009 06:41 AM
sorry bros i no know say u no go skool at all, u hear say den dey press computer u too wan try abi.ok about your "wash" as a matter of fact what u need is concentrated acid to "wash" that video.....hahahahahahaha
24610  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: HOW CAN I WASH VIDEOS IN NAIJAPAL on: 15-07-2009 06:21 AM
sorry bros i no know say u no go skool at all, u hear say den dey press computer u too wan try abi.ok about your "wash" as a matter of fact what u need is concentrated acid to "wash" that video.....hahahahahahaha
24611  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: What Men Mean! on: 15-07-2009 03:51 AM
u tried
24612  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: One More Miracle on: 10-07-2009 10:07 AM
Quote from: omatseye on  6-07-2009 07:26 AM
A warri man was blind.He was carried to a crusade were miracles took place.The attention of the Pastor was called upon.Pastor this man was blind now he can see....The pastor said really ,Let the bling man come on stage.
The pastor ask the blind man the following question.
Pastor:You can see?
Man:Yes pastor.
Pastor:Touch me.
(The pastor money miss)
Pastor:Touch me again.
(The pastor phone miss.)
The pastor now discover that some of is virture is missing he now said ok man u can go.The warri man now said BROS...can i touch u one more time.The pastor shouted...NO NO NO B4 MY MIRACLES LEAVE ME AS WELL.
u're a good
24613  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: obj and death on: 3-07-2009 11:28 AM
Quote from: omatseye on  3-07-2009 06:54 AM
u try....u mean stella was sold for 3rd term...no b me talk am oooo.....xter......
are u afraid or what but tell me if u like it
24614  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Put the prisoner in the prison... on: 3-07-2009 03:58 AM
Quote from: kido123 on 22-05-2009 05:23 PM
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, You know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

With a SMILE on his face caringly touching her in places, he says "OK, Sweetheart, Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison'
and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is PPP - Put the Prisoner in Prison. And the rule is that in prison the prisoner does not just lie down there, he really has to work."

And then they made heated passionate love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, panting but smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born fowl.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it’s not a life sentence, OKAY!!!


 Grin Grin Grin

u are fantastic infact u are cokeastic good u're one of the best here i'm so impressed
24615  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Marriage proposal on: 3-07-2009 03:32 AM
sorry for u :'(
24616  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / obj and death on: 3-07-2009 02:12 AM
-as Uncle Shege dey sell  everything 4 9ja na so everybody  con start to dey vex say uncle don renege from him promise say him wan turn 9ja to new york.na bcos of dis tins wey dey happen na hin con make 9ja people dey find solution 2 there problem shey u still remember say i no be 9ja hum,ok and according to the people research na realise say na sometin or person dey influence Uncle some say na money ,some say na aunti Stella .so at last dey con see say na the 2 Baba like,na so den con go bribe death say make he steal ANTI STELLA from baba.let's close dat scene ................................................................................                                         scene 2 Baba and death dey talk                                                        uncle how far now i wan ask u for something and i go reward u ooo .ok go on ,i wan make u sell ur wife to me any amount ok 3rd term nko? i fit give u now ok no problem she is all yours head to toe
24617  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: u must lay an egg on: 3-07-2009 01:58 AM
Quote from: omatseye on 26-03-2009 05:40 PM
After a night of drinking, Martins crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. 

 

"Who the hell are you? "Demanded Martins, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

 

The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter".

Martins was stunned.

"You mean I'm dead? That can't be, I have so much to live for,  I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away."

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch! . We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

 

Martins was devastated but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

 

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen. How are you enjoying your first day here?

 

"It's not so bad, "replied Martins, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."

 

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me  you've never laid an egg before."

 

"Never," replied Martins.

 

"Well, just relax and let it happen." And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail.

 

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

 

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him...ever!! !

 

The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,

 

Martins! Wake up, you drunken bastard, you're shitting  on the bed."

u are the best i can't stop laughing u brighten me so much
24618  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: WHAT PASTORS CHILDREN SPEAK AT HOME.... on: 3-07-2009 01:53 AM
Quote from: omatseye on 24-06-2009 01:23 PM
During a pastors meeting,the senior pastor wanted to know how their parents relate to their children or what their children speak at home.

YORUBA PASTOR:yes my children speak Yoruba.

IGBO PASTOR:my children speak igbo…

When it got to the calabar pastor.The calabar pastor said….senior pastor …I no understand wetin my children dey speak for house o but they speak in tongues….

u did well i think u,re great keep it up
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