shud b

men this is the bomb

am not a muderer, am i sent, it not violence but am just making it silence

make u no piss ooo, this na just the begining

i well, but i just they com, u will start getting enough of this

that not funny asaph, so dry

but the funny thing there is that u read it, ha ha ha ha asaph

5 FACTS IN THE WORLD.....!! !





















Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.







































Fact 2 : After reading the first fact, all fools try it.







































Fact 3: Fact 1 is false ha ha ha ha ha....!



































Fact 4: Now you are laughing... bcoz you became a fool!!!






























Fact 5: You are going to forward this now coz you don't wanna be
the only fool He

Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young
mothers
and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said,
"You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter
Candy."

He turned to the second mom: "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom: "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests
itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the
hand and whispers, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
May his soul rest in peace. :'( :'( :'( :'(

u can never love sombody at first site, u may claim to be in love, but is not their, except wen u two are together for a long time dat is wen u start feeling somthing for each other. attraction is different from bin in love.

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST: Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock
button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach
someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!'

THIRD: Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

FOURTH: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone * # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat.

It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 model. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape...

He smiles and asks: "Does anyone know the owner of this phone?"

na wa oooo, it is not nice at all to maltrit any artisit like that, if na me i will sue the police man, in fact na the whole police self i go sue, abi nice no get money?

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw
Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and
asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese
people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who
bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You
sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the
ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all
the same."