I know why i want to be president and its for the sake of service.
Lets forget all these 7 point agenda of lies your president has fed us.
If i am president, no need for long promises.
I'll first of all shut down nigerian breweries.
Secondly, i'll break NNPC's monopoly of oil
Thirdly i'll revive the agricultural sector cos a government that can feed its citizen and meet their immediate needs is a mega performer.
Fourthly, i'll ban prostitution and attach a stiff penalty for defaulters
I know many won't like the  first part but although Nigerian breweries is a major income earner, its also a major killer.

This is one question that i really would love to ask. Most men in developed countries have engaged in this trend of negotiation marriages where you pay a lady to pose as your wife and you guys sign an M O u  to split after 2 children.
Now with the way naija babes are acting i wonder if guys here won't follow suit.

This matter has caused a lot of problems with most of my friends particulaly my female friends.
one of them in particular, confided in me that, she poured out her heart and made her feelings known to a guy she has known and she got an unhealthy reply.
Can you imagine in this mordern age where guys see girls who do this as cheap but, its the other way round as in the case of the guy, he is seen as a don capochiano.
Now i would like to know who is to do the honours of toasting. Must it always be the guy?

I don't know what is wrong with this particular girl. I guess Dare Art Alade composed 'not the girl specially for her.
What vexed me the most is that, this girl and i grew up in the same yard or would i say compound but, she was more to the upper side. After Secondary school we both dispersed and only got back via facebook after university. When i called her, she started to blow Grammar the jandon style (talking with her nose) which i did not approve. This is a chic that has just spent 9 mths like play like play in the queens land and has changed gear i now wonder if she spends 25yrs wot would happen?

Fresh facts have emerged on why the Lagos – Ibadan Expressway remains a death trap after almost 10 years of civilian rule.

Investigations by our correspondent in Lagos and Abuja showed that no fund was appropriated for the road between 1999 and 2007 by the former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s administration.

The Lagos – Ibadan Expressway records thousands of vehicles per day, a figure that makes it one of the busiest and accident-prone roads in the country.

But in spite of the clamour for an upgrade and expansion of the road, successive governments had failed to do so.
According to documents detailing appropriation for federal highways across the six geo-political zones of the country, the Obasanjo administration did not budget money for the road during its eight year tenure, 1999-2007.
One of the documents showed that N16.3bn was allocated for capital expenditure in the Ministry of Works in the 2003 supplementary budget but no amount was spent on the Lagos – Ibadan Expressway.

Roads (projects) that benefited from the budget included the dualisation of the Abeokuta-Ota Expressway (which is yet to be completed), Yola-Mubi Road, primary roads in Yenagoa, Abuja-Keffi- Akwanga and Owerri-Onitsha roads.

In the 2004 appropriation of N44.6bn, the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway got a zero allocation as the Federal Government considered other roads projects of top priority.

The projects included the Iganmu bridges and approaches as well as the Oshodi-Gbagada Expressway in Lagos. Others were the Osogbo-Ilobu-Oko-Ogbomoso Road, Sokoto- Goronyo-Demulite Road, and Potiskum-Kukuri- Gudubo Road.

The situation was the same in the 2005 Appropriation as there was no provision for the road. Roads that got generous allocation were the Kebbi-Makera-Spur Road and Birnin Kebbi-Arungungu road.

Abayi-Obelere-Osisioma with spur at Umugaa/Umuojima, Aba-Port Harcourt Expressway, dualisation of Ilesa -Akure Road, Ido-Ekiti-Ipele -Iludun-Eda Omiyo in Kwara State also benefitted from the allocation.

Also in the 2006 appropriation, no allocation was made for the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. Projects that got choice allocation included Abaji-Lokoja-Benin Road, Sagbama-Ekeremor-Agge Road and the design of Ado-Ekiti-Ilu Moa-Imesi-Ikare Road in Ekiti State.

This does not however stop the ever busy nigerians who would walk on coal if that were a prerequisite to get things done. What this conotes is that, all the eight lolusy years which oby spent and even came to ibadan while the ibadan political tyrrant was still alive was just a mere camouflage.
When certain questions were thrown to him on a BBC sponsored programme, he did not have the ballz to be straight as he had to end it in a row.
This trend should stop as Nigerians are sick and tired of lacadastic kiss ass leaders.

I just kept on pondering on this issue and i felt i should let the house have a say on this.
In a relationship who is to love the most? Is it the guy or the lady cos, most times ladies fall victim of loving without getting loved and guys vice versa. Can the be an equilibrum in the love distribution in any way?
I don't know what do u guys feel?

Yo. Knuckle head i guess u shld be aware that, because part of the constituion of the Fgn has a section set aside for freedom of speech does not mean you shld open ur mouth at every given opportunity. get it straight i might be a kid but, mentally, i am 35yrs ahead of you so, don't hate.
If you lack gud sense of humour, well that, your problem cos with i school you on thing you won't learn in classes

Hey guys lets get serious here. Is it actually food a man would require in a woman in other to put her in his house? (hell no). Our mother used to tell their daughters in the good old days that, "the secret to a man's heart is in the belly but, i bring yoou good news today and counter that saying  because the word as we all know has gone global so also demands have followed suit.
Any man who would marry a woman all because she is a good cook must be a glutton. Does that mean that, men would no longer get married all because, they miss their mother's magical touch in their bellies?
Lets get personal now the secret to a man's heart nowadays is actually below the belly (if you know what i mean there).
This days men have been really useful in the kitchen and according to research, the best cooks or chefs are actually men. Should a man starve himself all because his wife is not back from work? People of God...... wots your say?

Come may 29 2009, Governor BRF (Babatunde Raji Fashola) will have spent 2yrs in office. When he assumed office, the Governor made lagosians to understand that, he intends to transform the state into a mega city and certain exercises were kick started.
What he did was to first start with a rampant demolision exercise where lots of people were made homeless even though there were loud cries that, they had legitimate papers.
What i now don't understand is that, Governor Fashola has taken his green evolution more serious than other social responsibilities which the state owes its citizens such as good roads. Being a highly educated person,one would have expected that, the governor tackled burning issues but rather he has followed the footsteps of his predecessor who now saw the need to develop the state at the tail end of his administration. I now would like to address this to the governor "which comes first, beautification or, development?" I still don't understand because, the lagos contingents to kada 2009 performed woefully and even when members were summoned, they could not give accurate answers. I would not want to sound like a pessimist but, with the way he is pushing it, lagos would remain where it is

Choosing a Wife
Ikenna wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates [Ifeoma, Nneka & Ngozi]. He gives each woman a present of N650,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

Ifeoma does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

Ikenna was impressed.

Nneka goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

Ngozi invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the N650,000. She gives him back his N650,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, Ikenna was impressed.

He thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know. You can never tell what they base their judgement on.

Quality or quantity.

 

 

Warm Regards...?

Brasca.

In every developed society today, the aim of every right thinking government is to see that, development does not exceed its people. In the case of Nigeria, its like we have slept for so long.
During the Civil war the biafrans were creative even with the production of oil which they used for their maintenance during the course of the war. One thing that baffles ones imagination is the way the ibo man has been able place himself comfortable in times of hardship. Everywhere you look, the ibo man always stands out. Whoever has ever visited Aba or Nnewi would understand what i mean.
This guys are creative as they manufcture their own cloths in a certain warehouse after which they are taken outside the shores of this country and bought again at a cheaper rate. This goes for the so called Gio Gio Amani shirts and accessories which we say "lai lai i can never were made in Aba'. it baffles me how gullible Nigerians could be. You saying you can't were Aba made stuffs kills the hopes of this guys which is why they put on their thinking caps and go into various businesses,
The average Ibo man or woman is a potential enterpreneur and its like our leaders have not seen towards that line of actively investing in industries in the East.
Did you know that, since the Police force was created, no ibo man has been made an Inspector General of police?
Did you also know that, its is only the lagos port which handle import duties? This is a clear case of greed as there are other ports in Port harcourt, Calabar wallow away.
Again during the war like i said oilo was drilled locally and today, when refineries are to be constructed, the run to foreigner and lavish our funds.
If the government of Yar'adua likes this country, he had better face reality and change the statusquo or else something bigger than what he can handle would hit him. ( maybe a revolution)
Se fini and adios

Y'all know that UEFA for 3 seasons has made a fortune from this two teams coming together to do battle. Nonetheless at Anfield it is definitely th reds but, overall,... it is still going to be liverpool

Your mama is so fat:

When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

When she dances she makes the band skip.

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (<- clearly the winner)

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Kazanga
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Visiting a village in a Third World nation, a high ranking dignitary tells the natives, "My people wish you warm greetings!"

The natives respond, "Kazanga!"

"We wish you prosperity!"

"Kazanga!" they bellow.

"We promise years of friendship and economic benefit!"

"Kazanga! Kazanga!"

As the dignitary leaves the podium, he tells the chief, "That went well."

"Uh-huh," the chief replies, then adds, "Look out! Don't step in the kazanga."

Two old ladies on a park bech
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Two old ladies are sitting on a hard park bench for a few hours. One says: "I thnk my butt feel asleep" The other said: "Yeah, I think I heard it snore a couple of times".

Look guys i have said it before u have a corpse for a leader. i mean was he in his right sense when he gave out 2 of his daugthers as third wives? What do you think he can do as per the niger delta issue? Until those in the power house who are now throwing stones in a glass house are wiped out, yar'adua will remain toothless.
Now the PDP knew what it was doing when it chose Goodluck as yar'adua's running as it was a sort of decoy to make us think they have the Niger delta at heart but, even as a Deputy governor, he was just at the beck and call of the PDP.
Tupac said it in one of his songs that "will there ever be peace", "one healthy mouth but, with no well fare".
Nigerians should be aware that, Yar'adua is not the Leader of the Country but, some coded individuals who decide Nigerian cases in a beer parlour and bring the residue to the waiting public for fairness to make it seem like they are practising democracy.
Now, the militants have switched gear from oil bunkering to kidnapping which used to be of foreign nationals but, now it is those who can pay.
This new means of kidnapping Nigerians who are relatives of top dignitaries is instrumental to them achieving their goal. Let noone get them wrong because, it was the same boys the PDP used in rigging the 1999 election who have turned back at them. ( Is that not a case of nemesis?).
When it comes to the Niger Delta, leave yar'adua out of it as he could not take charge in his home is he now the one to take charge and champion the niger delta course?
Don't quote me wrong but, i feel it is high time illiterates take charge because, we have have both educated and over-educated people who have stirred the ship of this country and have lost focus. To solve the niger-delta struggle, let the government go back to the 1999 niger-delta summit in Abuja and see what went wrong and until people like Edwin Clark are taken out of the picture, I feel it is a case of misplaced priority

Why should we be bothered about Nigeria's absence from the summit. i mean even the other day i heard a comment that, yar'adua was upset as he was not allowed to visit obama. Since we have a corpe for a President who is nothing but, a mentally dented, bloody hausa who thinks governance is like working in the Kano Pyramids and drinking Fura de nunu. I mean, let us be factual shey Yar'adua see hin mate for there?
When they were to discuss climate change Nigeria was panicking and even Ojo madueke who as a former keke (transport) Minister cum Foreign minister who knows nothing on foreign affairs but, seems to be tied to the apron string of Gordon Brown.
Lets forget it G5, G10 Or G100 Naija is nowhere so lets relax and go back to the drawing board

look meeky, i really appreciate your take but, this is one question that should not have emerged because, Nigeria herself was never a brand which needed to be rebranded. If at all, rebranding should start from within befor we now take it outside the shores of our land. it was the trial of Lucky dube's (blessed memories) killers that kic-started this whole story of rebranding as it was revealed in their testimony that, they actually thought he was a Nigerian. If at all, it is not Dora  who should anchor this rebranding because, while in nafdac, she played to the gallery and like any other Minister, she is paid to lie for the government.
We talk of rebranding Nigeria's image abroad when at the home front, we do not seem to have a face anymore.  What need to be done is to begin a rapid sweep inside before we eventually think of taking our dirty liniens outside.
Right from the time of Umaru Dikko and even his predecessors the world has known Nigeria as a shameless Country little wonder Koffi Annan while in office a sthe Sec. gen of the UN, made a comment that, " in other for African problems to be tackled squarely, Nigeria has to be taken aside". What this statement meant was that, Nigerian problems were too big to inculcate the entire Africa. So, who is deceiving who?.
I don't mean to sound like a pessimist but, is it in a time of recession that,we are meant to be thinking of recession? What happened to rebranding of religious houses especially the churches? Why do we enjoy deceits and lies? When Adeboye acquired a jet in times of recession, no one said anything about rebranding?
Now they have seem another avenue to shield their activities form the general public as Obasanjo did with the heart of Africa project which they said is now the rebranding agenda. Until philosopher are king and Kings Philosophers, as Philosophy thought us, Nigeria would remain the way she is a sthere is no hope for this country .