hang wella make you no fall sha

A girl entered a church crying. The pastor, on sighting the girl asked:
Pastor: What happened to u
Girl: Its my boyfriend
Pastor: what did he do to u
Girl didn’t answer him
He moved closer to her, touching her body: did he do this to u
Girl: No!
He rub her body: (pastor asked: did he do this to u
Girl: No!
He started caressing her: (pastor asked: did he do this to u
Girl: No!
He romanced her (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
He kissed her: (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
He took her in: (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No
He pulled her clothes: (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
He sucked her Bosom : (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
He removed her pants: (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
He started pounding hard on the girl to esctacy: (pastor asked: did he do this to u)
Girl: No!
Girl finally said (still crying): He gave me HIV/AIDS.
Pastor: (fainted)

well i no no wetin i dey do or abi i know??

Love is you and your partner,the feelings you have and he/she gave it back to you.

you are right

What system of voting do you think we need to conduct our elections??
 Option A4 or ballot(modern voting)??

just asking

well i asked cos a friend of mine told me he is going to continue

good

to connect with people say my minds out you know maybe i can meet my heart desire who knows

Well i want to know if you meet a  lady not knowing she is a call girl and now tell you, she has changed from her past in just  2hrs to go to the altar,will you continue the wedding or stopped??

hisssssssssssssssssssss

A typical naija man go UK ,fight happen and dem catch am and investigate hear wetin happen
 police:wht is your name??
Oga:Rasaki Ojuolere
Police:your passport
Oga:bring out his photogragh
police:Nope i mean your international  passport
Oga:sorry o i no no sey na my passport you dey asked for .sorry oga police na through ship i take come here

9ice 1  oooo you try just

A political aspirant was asked the question during one of those debates,

QUIZ: After the tragedy in New York and Washington September 11, the question arises:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF NIGERIA IS ATTACKED?

ANSWER:Well ... if that happens, there can be no comparison. That's because in Nigeria we are much better prepared for these kind of attacks, given the following reasons:

1. We do not construct exaggerated elevated buildings.
2. We all get on the job late in the morning, so at 8.45am there won't be sufficient people to kill.
3. Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over, so there will be no casualties among them.
4. The Nigeria airways would surely have fouled up the terrorists' plans by being delayed again, and of course losing the luggage - containing the bombs.
5. A Nigerian would not have used his cell phone to call home. He would've hit the terrorist with it over the head.
6. If a terrorist was living for one year in Nigeria (Oshodi), he would've been robbed and molested so many times he would've given up and gone back home long time ago.
7. In Nigeria the terrorists would not have gotten the flight manual, they would've had to pay for it.
8. In Nigeria juju would make all the passengers disappear before the thing hit Mushin or Ajegunle.
9. Osama would be so confused with who is really in power

You see...in Nigeria we are well prepared.

Happy Birthday bro ha no be bro forget i think say na ame i dey i forget say na village called naija we dey na brooda how far ore mi happy birthday dg

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

lol

nice one

You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean like(this is Jasi,i am currently unavailable drop me a message and i will get back to you ),but  all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message."

That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short.

This is what my answering machine machine says
  ( I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine please message when you call me...thanks Jasi drop your message now..)
 
  Dont you see that is the shortest message.