the removal of subsidy is highly not welcome, imagine a with no electricity, hospital, good road and boko haram treat... the govt didnt do anything to it other than to let the masses suffer. JONATHAN REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON TOO.

An American dude, an English fella, and a 9ja man were on a ship. Suddenly the devil appeared and said: "Drop anything into the sea and if I find it I will eat you but if I can't I will be your slave!"... The American dropped a pin, the devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the devil found it and ate him too. The 9ja man opened a bottle of water, poured it into the sea and said "Na Today! Find am na?"

1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:- Are you sleeping?A: No! I'm training to die?

2. When It's raining and someone notices you going out, they ask: - Are you going out in this rain?
A: No,in the next one.:|

3. Your friend calls your home phone:- Where are you?
A: At the bus stop!:/

4. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:- Did you just have a bath?
A: No, I fell in the toilet bowl!8-|

5. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:- Going up?
A: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me.>:O >:O >:O

6. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:- are those Flowers?
A: No baby! They Carrots.:*

7. You're on the queue to buy tickets @ the cinema, a friend saw u & ask:- what are u doing here?
A: I'm here to pay my school fees.

8. A friend sees u crying &ask:- are you crying?
A: No, its just raining in my eye.

9. Your mum sees u going to school in ur uniform&ask:- are you going to school darling?
A. No mum, i am going to a night club.

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides
he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to Germany hell & asks, "what do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell. Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in ... Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many
people waiting to get in?" asks the man.

"Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D Bosom , 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God." lol

I usually say that ooo............

diary, novel, money, pen, jotter  and to complete the look or do u think women handbag is just for make up

1. Mega Oyel Bunkering (like those guys in the ND creeks)
2. Kidnapping (will soon displace oyel bunkering for the no. 1 spot because it has a higher "Return On Investment" rate)
3. More oyel bunkering (like that dude in Lagos)
4. Politics (Pays like hell. ever heard of "Sitting Allowance"? yeah, they get that too!)
5. Police (N50 x 500 Motorists x 365 days. We're talking some really huge figures here!)
6. Yahoo-Yahoo
7. Multinational Oyel workers
8. Bank Executives
9. Contractors
10. Others

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys." "He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try and feel your Bosom , you are going to like that but don't let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family." With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted, "Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family, " Granny fainted!

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY! .....

OMO DIS ONE NA BED SENTENCE.

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,

"It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope,

matured in steel containers."

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.

"It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak

barrels."

"Correct."

The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the

work office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the

father!". X_X

"The boss collapsed."

A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."

"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".

Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."

Grandma n Grandpa were watching TB Joshua on tv, the man of God said;If u v any problem, stretch ur right hand towards d tv n place d left on d affectd area. Grandma did n placd her hand on her shoulder! Grandpa touchd d tv wit one hand and touchd his Dick wit d oda hand! Grandma smiled n said to Grandpa; Honey!"the idea is 2 HEAL THE SICK and not to RAISE THE DEAD

use poly bag..lol

u r right, blessme....they always flock together

cos u'v got to feel the naija craziness. no dey lie u always too all those thing. i will not tell any one

Cos i want you to feel the kemmy flavor on naijapals.

sugarlicious

LWKMD, NA LADIES FRUSTRATE U TO THIS EXTENT?

NO WAHALA.