For the first time, i'll have to agree with you!

I know i'm a nigerian when a policeman ask you  WHY ARE YOU DOING RECKLESS DRIVING?

you know you are nigerian if you know more that three ppl with OLUWA befor etheir real or nicknames...OLOWASPARKLE!

A lot of us especially those living outside, mostly in the western world, at a point in time keep asking themselves, "am I actually a Nigerian"?.
I have the answer. Read through these and if you find any missing, fill em in!



                                             YOU ARE A NIGERIAN IF FIVE OR MORE OF THESE REFERS TO YOU.





-Your name is so long, or so hard to pronounce, that you either have some "Americanized" nickname, or you use your middle name (which is English).

-You know what your name means.

- You know of anyone (including yourself) that has any of the following names: Ola, Sade, Bola, Tunji, Ngozi, Uche, Folake, Ifeoma, Tolu, Tunde, Obi,Chioma, Chituru,Chinyere,Adaobi,Nkemi, Nneka, Bunmi & Fatima

-Names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, or Mercy are normal to you.

-Rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo)

-You would prefer MoiMoi, or farina (foo-foo) with soup over Mc Donald`s any day.

-You have ever treated a cold or sore throat with Pepper Soup." AND IT WORKED!!!!!!

-(For females) YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Not being able to cook stew or soup is one of the most major burdens in life.

-(For females again) YOU KNOW YOU'Re NIGERIAN IF a Nigerian man who is like 2 or 3 times your age has ever tried to spit game at you.eeeeeeewwwwww!

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have ever gone to a Nigerian "get-together" and made a grip of money just by dancing.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... The fact that NAS ESCOBAR is half-Naija makes you so damn happy.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you into a whole heeeap of trouble.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You or someone you know has ever been sent to Nigeria because of behavioral problems, or if your parents have ever threatened to do so.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... When you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent. And your parents had their back, over yours. (Shady huh?)

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents own expensive *bleep* lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents have ever compared your life here in America to theirs in Nigeria. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity,fetching water, Nigerian Civil War.etc)

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... When you parents curse you want so bad you want to laugh, but you don`t want to get slapped.

-If you have ever been told that you will be beaten "well well."

-If you`ve ever heard stories such as, "When I was in Nigeria we had one shoe for the entire year and I had to cook for my senior brother."

-If you know several women who loudly sing in like 8 octaves too high and way too loud.

-If you've ever been embarrassed because when your friends came to visit your father walked around the house in a skirt (rapper or as we pronounce rappa)

-If you have ever been wakened at like 2:00 AM to speak to relatives u hardly know.

-If you have ever went to a Nigerian function where there were mostly adults and spent most of the time answering questions about school.

-If you know people who have the same weird first and last name (Akpan Akpan, Eno Eno)

-If when taking attendance the teacher says something weird and youu know its your name.

-If your parents can't keep straight pronouns like he, she, him and her (EX: Ah! Ah! did u see Jordan, she is such a good basketball player).

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents use phrases like "Ewhoa,Chineke, Chei, and Ah-Ah,".

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to "show you pepe." (pepper)

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... Any Nigerian kid that you known for a long asstime is your "cousin".

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have a relative that owns a shop, especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... All of your parent's Nigerian friends are your "uncles and Anti's." Not Aunts but Anties.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF.... when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have Naija relatives in Europe (especially London, England). chea!!!

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have a rough estimate of how many Nigerians are at your school.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You are friends with someone just because they`re Nigerian.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You bond with people more from other African countries (Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia, Eritrea, Ethiopia), more than Americans.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You or your parents have some kind of stereotype about another Nigerian tribe.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You know more than anything that your tribe is the best tribe (ijebu!!! hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF. You know for sure that the Nigerian Eagles are by far the best soccer team in the world.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You have ever bought green chucks just to match a shirt that has the Nigerian flag on it. GREEN WHITE GREEN! Or if you have ever bought a Celtics jersey just to match a crisp green or white fitted.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF... You know anyone with dark ass hands and a bright ass face.

-YOU KNOW YOU'RE NIGERIAN IF. You attend or have visited a predominantly Nigerian church.

-YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ARE A TRUE TO THE HEART NAIJA KING OR QUEEN if you are a GOOD DANCER! Cause ya know Nigerians have rhythm like WHOA!

You know you're Nigerian if...

-As a young woman, you`re biggest dilemma is sticking to the regular American boys you date or trying to find a Nigerian husband to appease your parents!

-If that same grandmother is always singing old Nigerian language-hymnals or spirituals rightbefore she runs her bath (she NEVER uses the shower!)

-If whenever Nigeria comes up in the news, you run to your TV set
and turn that volumewaaaayy up And you get sooo mad if it`s for another bloodbath or scandal that they`re in the news for.

-If you know "chin chin" and "puff-puff" are da Bomb!


-If dancing men in scary looking masks signify celebration and tradition.

-If you know one or more chiefs.

-If you or anyone in your family must be introduced with all their credentials, including the initials of all your degrees. "Hello everyone, please let me introduce to you Architect Inyang Victor Ekanmen, MD, PhD, MPH, DDS, MA, MBA (y`all get the point!!!)

-If you have ever been made to believe that a gap in the front teeth is sexy, especially if it`s on the top and bottom rows

-If half the people you know are either studying to be doctors or engineers.

-You know you`re Nigerian when your parents rather blast up Nigerian music than Rap and R&B when you`re driving around.

-You know you`re Nigerian when Your Parents say they are not coming to your wedding if you marry an American.

hahhahahaha... women and their wahala for real!!

Are we really sure she is not kinda putting up this to raise her professional stake? Where is it in the news and ..........wait a minute, who's Funmi Iyanda?

I don't get it, If you live with a man and have two kids for him, unless you have a sign on your face that says "looking for another man", they are not supposed to get the space and your time out of your busy life for all these talks. 14 guys and still counting? Hmmm.. there's more to this story than meet the eye.

“When you begin to suspect that a woman is only after something you can give her, and is not in love with you, listen to your instincts,”. “Don’t let your ego convince yourself otherwise.” According to Lieberman there are a dozen dangerous damsels looking to exploit men. Here is her short list of girls to watch out for:

1. The Gold-Digger. A gold-digger goes after men who will pamper her.

2. The Addict. A bad girl addict wants her addiction (alcohol, street drugs, prescription drugs), and a man who will enable her to gain easy access to it.

3. Sex Siren. A sex siren uses sex as a weapon to get what she wants.

4. segxwal Withholder. A segxwal withholder will only have sex under certain conditions she imposes.

5. Married Woman on the Prowl. A married woman on the prowl wants the passion and romance of a forbidden relationship (cheating), and the security of a faithful husband.

6. Commitment Phobic. A commitment-phobe wants to avoid getting too close, so she can keep her options open.

7. Husband Stealer. A husband-stealer wants the satisfaction of a man who will leave his wife for her, proving her beauty and charm.

8. Ultimate Damsel in Distress. An damsel in distress wants to be rescued from her situation, which may include poverty, physical abuse, depression, loneliness, or a low credit score.

9. Cougar. A cougar will go after younger men to prove they are still segxwally desirable.

10. Ball-Buster. A ball-buster wants a man to prove he loves her by perpetually scrambling to meet her demands.

11. Bad Girl Scorned. A bad girl scorned wants a man to cancel his plans for her, promising his undying love. If he fails to do this, she will destroy his life.

The Bad Economy is Making Men More Vulnerable


“When a man has lost his job or is not making as much money as he once did,”. “He feels emasculated.” If one of these bad girls come along, she will recognize his vulnerability. She will know that all she has to do is make him feel good about himself, and he will become indebted to her positive praise.

“She knows all she has to do is to make him feel like the biggest stud on the planet, and he will fall head over heels for her, losing savings, self-respect and sanity in the process” . “There are times in your life when you are a sitting duck for these women—stay out of the dating pool when you’re feeling needy.”

A Man’s Relationships Sows the Seeds for Him to be Vulnerable

“Most men who become trapped by one of the Dozen Dangerous Damsels have come from a family where their father wasn’t there for them,” says Lieberman. “When a dad is physically or emotionally absent, he causes his son to have low self-esteem, and he doesn’t teach him the difference between the girls to have fun with and the girls to marry.”

“If a little boy worries that if he doesn’t grow up to be a white knight that can save his fair damsel in distress, he won’t be able to attract or keep a woman, when one of these bad girls presents him with something to save her from (promising her undying love), he will fall for it,” says Lieberman. “If a man’s dad never taught him how to be a man, seek out a mentor whose character and choices you respect—it’s never too late (to change).”

And for those idiots calling at the posters mother, you guys are ridiculous. You probably don't understand what is expected of an individual running a country. Its not supposed to be a child play being a president of a country with a population of over 150million. Just name one country in the would that would have their representative make such a joke of the country's official language or put up such a groaner for a speach.

DISPLAY OF IGNORANCE. HENCE YOU ARE THE FIRST ONES THAT WANT A CHANGE IN NIGERIA. HOW DO YOU EXPECT A CHANGE HAVING THE WORST IGNORANTS RUN THE ADMINISTRATION?

so?

Niger Delta Group, NDLF, Led By John Togo Declares "End Of Militancy".
Pals, are we sure its real or its another strategy to start another problem.

http://www.saharareporters.com/press-release/press-statement-niger-delta-group-ndlf-led-john-togo-declares-end-militancy

I no dey call dat one forming. They just dey strange. Even most of them wey dey europe dey still act like say na naija them dey.
Other African girls go thank their God sey dem jam naija man, dem dey get decent jobs and no dey run from one man to another because of money, blackberry and co. you no fit snatch camerounian, Kennian, Sounth african babe from her guy just by promising marriage. Most naija babes just hear you pronounce anything wey sound like marriage, dem go leave their guy run follow you!
If you no get money or nice ride, naija babe no go follow you unlike other Africans. Thats why some guys wey get money dey use naija women play okoso!

hahaha..live and death!  LIVE & DEATH

If only Mourinho would learn to play fair football without being this violent, they won't always be a red card for his team.

@the publisher.
You tagged these pics with the most horrible English in the books and spoiled the easter of your readers! The court understand spelling errors but your grammatical sins in this case has attracted a fine of 10k euro, to be paid into my account by the end of next week.

If your written and spoken English language is this bad it'll really be very difficult to get a job!
How in the other devil's name were you able to make uppers with this poor grammar? Go back to secondary school, I ean no insult but you are abusing this (graduate) thing!

First step;
Motorist must be a trained and qualified driver from an approved driving school and must pass a theory and practical driving examination before owning a licence.
Second step;
Police Must be trained in other to become a traffic control officer and a proper sanctioning method must be applied, in a way drivers are handed a  verbal or fine so the pay it in a bank.
Third step;
Insurance policy against damages to properties and humans must be obligatory to all motorists.

The major cause of accidents is not the state of the road, its mostly caused by ignorant drivers who never attended a formal driving course  before jumping behind the wheels. Your ability to conduct a moving vehicle over a particular distance, at a random direction doesn't make you a driver. The bad road issue comes last.
I went to Romania in 2008, their roads were not as good as the ones we have here in Italy yet the drive in accordance with conventional driving rules.

Here in Italy, the catholic church is responsible for feeding just about all the hungry through their CARITAS organization. They give you clothes free, give you all kind of foodstuffs free, they take care of all the single mothers, motherless kids, foreigners etc. In my city, they have a restaurant you can eat as much as you like for free as long as you demonstrate you don't have a job. Non of the priests ride on expensive SUVs, they are paid by the church authorities and live by their earnings.
They don't tax ppl money in form of tithes and obligatory levy as they do in Africa.
In Africa, we lack just everything. schools are not equipped with efficient study materials, hospitals just lack what it takes to take care of patients, the roads are not done, the ones done pretentiously have no traffic signs.
With all these wealth the church make, they could help develop that country instead of wasting it on luxuries that does not benefit the common man, who practically contributed the little they don't even have to make those men of God that rich.