All politicians (no exception) should serve a maximum of 2 terms, The 1st in government, the second in prison.

This World is coming to an end!

If you get married too quickly to a stranger because of earthlythings, you may spend all your life regretting it.

Anytin  u do 4 tis lyf people must find a way 2 condem it.....Dbanj carry go i have already nodding my head 4 d sweet song

This is M.O.N.E.Y

I will be back soon!

A man is in the dock, the Judges says, 'on the
3rd August you are accused of killing you wife
by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you
plead?'

'Guilty', said the man in the dock.

At this point a man at the back of the court
stood up and shouted 'You dirty rat!'.

The Judge asked the man to site down and to
refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued 'and that also on the 17th
September you are accused of killing your son
by beating him to death with a hammer, how do
you plead?'

'Guilty', said the man in the dock.

Again the same man at the back stood up and
shouted 'You dirty rotten stinking rat'.

At this point the Judge called the man to the
Bench and said 'I have already asked you to be
quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I
will have to charge you with contempt of court.
I can understand your feelings, but please tell
me what relationship have you to the man in the
dock'.

He replied 'He is my next door neighbour'.
 
The Judge replied 'I can understand your feelings
then, but you must refrain from any comments'.

The man replied 'No, your Honour, you don't
understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow
a hammer, and on both occasions he said he didn't
have one.'

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong

nice one

Kids Are Quick
____________ _________ _________ ______

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ....
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________ _________ _________ ______

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O .
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O .
____________ _________ _________ ____

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is ..
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
____________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
____________ _________ _________ ________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher