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1761  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Tortoise picnic. on: 7-05-2010 07:02 AM
na kill i go take rply d fool.lol
1762  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Police preacher on: 6-05-2010 08:35 AM
HEY, POLICE DEY READ BIBLE!

On Lagos-Ibadan express road, a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that letter U was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter V.

That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout 'stolen vehicle'! Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied, "Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me". The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read; "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court.. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" one N100 to his newly found "preacher".
End of service!Praise God!!!"Go in peace and argue no more", said the OC.

 

1763  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Tortoise picnic. on: 6-05-2010 08:31 AM
Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a
picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and
sandwiches.
     The trouble is the picnic site is ten
miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they got there Mick unpacks the food and beer and
says "Ok Roy give me the bottle opener" "I didn't
bring it" says Roy "I thought you packed it". Mick
gets worried, so he turns to Andy and says "Did you
bring the bottle opener?" Naturally Andy didn't bring
it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a
bottle opener.
     Mick and Andy begged Roy to go back for
it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the
sandwiches. After two hours and after they have sworn
on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the
sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Roy sets off down
the road at a steady pace.
20 days passed and he still
isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a
promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still
isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they
can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich
each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops
up from behind a rock and shouts: "I KNEW IT......I'M
NOT GOING"  Angry

 
1764  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Too bad on: 5-05-2010 04:49 PM
damn funny...na job kill am.
1765  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: One excellent husband on: 5-05-2010 04:45 PM
faithfully drunk...haha!
1766  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Given the High Hat on: 5-05-2010 04:40 PM
lataaaro...since morning..at least i just laffd...good one.
1767  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Given the High Hat on: 5-05-2010 04:36 PM
lataaaro...since morning..at least i just laffd...good one.
1768  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: XXX rated on: 5-05-2010 04:08 PM
 Undecided Undecided Undecided make i vex or make i wail for u? jus ruined my day.
1769  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Ipod ooo! on: 5-05-2010 02:20 PM
fart buh wth respect and d fear of God.
1770  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Interprete In Good English! on: 5-05-2010 01:47 PM
wait,sidon there dey blow grammar wen boys don alredy dey rush yam..i get akara wey i go take chop mine cos i dey para no b small
1771  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Let's throw all the insults and yarbs right here on: 5-05-2010 09:40 AM
its ok naa...wats wrong if i called u gais dick heads?
1772  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: What a Boy can do a Girl can do Better on: 5-05-2010 09:37 AM
mennn dat girl dey para o.
1773  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Ipod ooo! on: 5-05-2010 09:24 AM
tot mayb i culd just spread some love naaa..abi wat u fink?
1774  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Ipod ooo! on: 5-05-2010 09:08 AM
no b my fault naa...na d tin carry me away na.
1775  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Ipod ooo! on: 5-05-2010 08:07 AM
I was at McDonald’s yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart . The music was really REALLY loud so I timed my farts with the beat.

 

After a couple of songs I started to feel better  Grin... I finished my latte and then noticed…everybody was staring at me! 

 

Then,  I suddenly remembered! I was listening to my Ipod!!!  Embarrassed
1776  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Sharp rat on: 5-05-2010 07:57 AM
haha...ds da shit!
1777  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: The casket dealer on: 5-05-2010 07:56 AM
haha...lmao.i tell u,d taxi driver sef no go fit wait.
1778  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Interprete In Good English! on: 5-05-2010 07:52 AM
 Undecided em...A boiled yam is simply ready to be eaten.
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