they're all right..all na same!

i lyk reading your post....full of surprises!

lol @ poster...sheenor thumbs up,u be news caster?

first joke good....second best ba nt the right forum.poster a lil dumb sha.

das a sharp boy...

lol....Q 5,ladies gat no balls to scratch,ladies if u need balls to scratch contact.

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth.

In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.

The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The mother said to the young man, "That was wonderful. You should be a doctor!"

The ungrateful father jumped up, twisted the boy's arm behind his back and yelled, "Doctor, my ass! He's going to be our son-in-law. Smell his fingers!"

@tessinita...try to make someone laff by sucking a dick.ok...not by telling dry jokes....lol.

a lady wil be in a better position to do that...any ladies in tha house willin to?

too serious..the driver has been giving the lil girl icing on her cake!

 

A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they're are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies "They're making cakes."

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer "They're making cakes."

The next morning the little girl says to her mother "Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night."
The Mother replies " How do you know?"
The girl says "I licked the icing off the sofa and it was as sweet as the driver's!"

d guy no kno himself...he don mezebu,u for write who u dey toast,whether na mr don or kristiantus.

lets be realistic,the mallam muguns that are killing people are cowards and their real problem all starts from poverty and lack.to be a suicide bomber,i dont think a Nigerian can be,but a Nigerian can kill cos of sentiments and maybe a paltry sum of money for a days meal.get one thing right a suicide bomber doesn't intend to spend his money here while an hired assasin thinks of enjoyment after hard work.

 

This guy is setting at a bar, and he's had a lot to drink that night; he asks the bartender for another drink, but the bartender says no.

The guy is pretty upset by this and persists, but the bartender keeps saying no. Finally the guy asks, "Well isn't there anything that you can give me?" The bartender says, "I've got this parrot over there in the corner, sitting on a perch, with no legs.

The guy interested by this asks how the parrot stays on the perch with no legs. The bartender tells the guy that the parrot just raps his dick around the perch.

The guy is amazed by this and agrees to take the bird home. On the trip home he asks the parrot if he can talk. The parrot says, "Sure I can talk!"

The guy thinks for a second and then says, "I've got a job for you. I have to go to work tomorrow and my wife will be home alone all day long. I want you to watch her and tell me everything that happens while I'm gone. The only person other than my wife scheduled to be there is the milk man."

The parrot agrees to watch the man's wife. The next morning the guy leaves for work, leaving only his wife and the parrot at home. Later that evening the man returns home and asks the parrot what his wife did all day.

Parrot: "Within an hour after you left the milk man appeared. Your wife walked to the door, dressed in her bathrobe and let him in. Right away they started kissing!"

Man: "Then what happened after that?"

Parrot: "They started taking each other's clothes off."

Man: "And then what?"-getting more angry

Parrot: "Your wife started jacking him off!"

Man: "What next?"-really steamed by this time

Parrot: "She started giving him a blow job!"

Man: "And what then, did they do anything else?"

Parrot: "I don't know by that time I got a hard on, and fell off my perch!"

3 nurses go into the morgue, and there's a dead man's body lying there, with an erection.

The first nurse sees it, and says "I'm gagging for it", gets atop the man and has her way with it.

The second nurse says "aye, so am I, shame to let it go to waste", and she does the same.

They turn to the 3rd nurse and ask her if she is having a go. She replies she is having her period, and declines. One of the nurses reply "He's dead anyway, he'll no bother". The last nurse agrees with this, gets on and does her thing too.

Just after she finishes, the dead man sits up. The nurses ask him "We thought you were dead!", and the man replies,

"After two jump starts and a blood transfusion, you wouldn't be dead either!".

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."

The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.

Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.
Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

lol...wat of someone who farts in other peoples face..

lol....funny.and z for zample abi

@ poster,was that how u were disvirgined?

 

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.

One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.

She asks the boy, "What are they doing?"
He says: "They're making love."

"Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked.
"Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered.

"Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked.
He says, "Those are his knots."
She says, "Oh, OK, I got it."

As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were. "Suprised and excited, the boy agrees.

While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes. "Whoa, what are you doing?!" he shouts.

The girl innocently replies,
"I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope!"