As a Nigerian in the diaspora, I am so disappointed with the mindset on returning back home after being away for several years. I need someone to please help me understand. Can someone explain to me this mentality of perpetually passing the buck. Everyone waiting for "the government" to solve all their problems. The essential inability to take any initiative. Its so disgusting that sometimes I am shocked that I came from that country.
Let me explain: I basically grew up in NYC. If there was a problem on the street, the neighborhood got together to fix it. An issue needs to be resolved for the specific community, we all brainstorm and work together to fix it-as diverse as the neighborhood was. So imagine my surprise upon my visit to Nigeria when I asked about fixing the potholes on the street. Everyone said "oh thats for the government to do". Yes, I do realise that there is a state budget allocated for road repairs, and yes it gets embezzled year after year. But its our vehicles that get destroyed!
Another example, I am trained as both a chemical engineer and a computer engineer, my brother is an energy systems engineer. We decide that we should test a prototype of a solar photovoltaic system as a power generating alternative. Imagine our surprise when everyone on the ground (in lagos) became worried and did not want to be involved with the project even though it did not entail any financial commitments on their end. Because they were afraid of the powers that be, whoever they are.
No nation ever succeeded when its citizens folded their hands and waited for the 'government' to rescue them. Because, trust me, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
I personally tried to set up some friends and relatives in business. You know the saying "Teach a man to fish ..." So, I bought them all the appliances and accessories they said they needed for their business. Shipped it over from the US to Nigeria. Everything paid for with no strings attached. My only stipulation was that they succeed in business. All I kept hearing was how this and that person was so jealous of them and so they could not get the business off the ground. It was one excuse after the other.
I wish when I was poor growing up in Nigeria, someone would have given my family half the opportunity and resources that I have been trying to pass along. For now, I have given up. There is no point wasting my hard earned resources on people with no ambition, or drive, or basic common sense.
If I sound harsh, please bear with me. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

On one hand, guys speak too smoothly. On the other hand, I as a female have to admit that I am embarrassed by how disrespectfully some of our women speak to the men.

It seems to me that you already know the awnser. Or are you waiting to receive a wedding invitation to your boyfriends wedding? Seriously, move on to greener pastures.

If you see yourself marrying your girlfriend then do as she says, otherwise stay out of the fight. Tell her you dont want to be involved. Dont get involved in any he says she says, it will only backfire. Speak to your friend and tell her the same. See if you can stay on neutral topics when you talk. Make sure no one says anything evil about the other to you. Hopefully your friend is mature enough to understand the situation.