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21  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 19-12-2010 11:48 PM
Quote from: Michro on 19-12-2010 11:20 PM
Huh?


what  Cheesy
22  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 19-12-2010 11:16 PM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 08:57 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 09:59 AM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 03:50 AM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 12:16 PM
There's this friend of my, who got married 5years ago; during our chat, he told me, that he's still seeing the lady (Lady A) he went out with before getting married; I was astonish hearing that!, 'cos i know the wife, from my own perspective she (the wife/Lady B) got all it takes, both in terms of beauty and wife material stuffs:

I told him if you so love this other lady, you she have got married to her, instead of your present wife..., you courted both of them and decide to settle for Lady B (the wife); He responds was, over my dead body will i settle for Lady A, but at the same time, i find it difficult letting her go, 'cos i have tried severally to stop seeing her, at the end of the day, i still find myself in her arms; I quit agreed with you that my wife got all it takes, but all the same something is missing somewhere....., you wouldn't get it, he added:

The essence of courtship is to figure out things... before tying knot..., we all know that no one is perfect (i:e no ideal woman/man); but at the same time, i think, E:g if out of 10 characteristic we need..., we find say 7 in one particular person; why will one get stuck with a fellow that has 4, when he already tie the knot, with the one that has 7?. It suck!; Moreover, i found out, that he's not ready to quit Lady A, 'Cos when i asked him, how will you handle things, if your wife finds out? he said, how will she..? you are not gonna tell her, will you?

So my question is, WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE/WANT?


Because they are desperate at this point and they are willing to settle down with whatever they can find. Even if they have a list of requirements about what they want in a woman, they still say Oh, its 4 out of 7..I guess she is manageable. But what people don't know is that, its not manageable if that is not what you have in mind. if that is not what your requirement entails then you shouldn't sell yourself short. Be patient and wait for your 7/7 because there is definitely someone out there who has all your requirements.

In tends of the man and his wife, He has to somehow confront his wife at some point. If he love and respect his wife then he needs to come clean with her, 99 days for the thief but 1 day for the owner, she will definitely find out even if its not from you poster. that is if she haven't find out by now and she is pretending. He might never know, maybe she wants him to say something. maybe she too is not enjoying the sex.

Sure! someday she might find out, 'cos she somehow suspest him already: Regarding the characteristics, what he got is a better option, she got 7/10 while the other got 4/10, from my perspective 10/10 doesn't exist, ideal partner is just a fantacy, cos nobody is perfect, in-other-words he should count himself lucky 4 having 7/10 


I disagree with you..10/10 does exist. If you know God and you trust in him and believe that with God all things are possible then a 10/10 is also possible.


Dont count yourself luck if that is not what your list entails, that is not luck. you are heading toward what you didnt bargain for..I just wish people can be patient and wait.... Sad  Wait on your God, if he is what you believe in to be then he will come through for you..Moreover, He is the I AM that I AM( whatever you think of him to be).


My dear am a Christian too, and i believe in the Bible, what Bible said was that; he that founded a wife finds a good thing, and obtain favor/mercy........., It never said, he that found 10 characteristic etc...., i still maintain my stand that 10/10 is a Fantasy, which doesn't exist; if it does exist, why are there so many centers for marriage Chancellor.....? even in the churches there are peoples who are set aside for advising/settling couples differences? or could it be cos those couples don't know God? of-course they do, Is for-seen in the Bible that there will be differences b/w couples/peoples, that was why the Bible equally said they should bring theirs case before the Elders of the Church; Sure Bible said, ask and it "SHALL" be given unto you, knock and the door will be open etc, am not against that Chapter and will never be, haven't you planned of getting something before, you prayed and fasted about it, and you didn't get it? Could that make God/Bible a lier? of-course NO.

Another example; A man will makeup his mind to settle (marry), but he may be undecided b/w two ladies, a times the issue is often i prefer lady A, but she's too fat though she has all it takes for being a wife material.., lady B got all the physical appearance i desire, but she too lazy/talkative/dirty to my likeness; at the end of the day, this guy will settle for one, does that mean he got all he want? the answer is NO, he just went for the better for him, which could be the 7/10; 8/10; or 6/10: illustration is vice-versa                           
23  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: YEAH!!!!!!! XMAS AND NEW YEAR on: 19-12-2010 05:37 PM
Wish u same
24  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: HOW DESPEREATE ARE U ABOUT UR PARTNER. on: 19-12-2010 05:15 PM
Quote from: Michro on 19-12-2010 05:09 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 05:07 PM
Quote from: Michro on 19-12-2010 04:48 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 04:46 PM
Is good that you love your wife that much; but you need to give her some breathing space (freedom) as Pointzero said, else one day she may become very uncomfortable with that, she will then sees it as, you are Controlling, Dominant, and Imposing etc; One a woman start seeing a man like that, she might start loosing interest on him, reason is that she feels untrusted
Not that I am really disturbing her about that, but I don't allow people especially me to access her bcos I don't trust men specifically my friends.

You are welcome

All the same, you still need to let her know that you trust her, by giving her little space, even if you don't trust your friends; once she sees your changes, she will do all it takes to............, no matter who crosses her part
Thanks.
I really appreciate.
25  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: HOW DESPEREATE ARE U ABOUT UR PARTNER. on: 19-12-2010 05:07 PM
Quote from: Michro on 19-12-2010 04:48 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 04:46 PM
Is good that you love your wife that much; but you need to give her some breathing space (freedom) as Pointzero said, else one day she may become very uncomfortable with that, she will then sees it as, you are Controlling, Dominant, and Imposing etc; One a woman start seeing a man like that, she might start loosing interest on him, reason is that she feels untrusted
Not that I am really disturbing her about that, but I don't allow people especially me to access her bcos I don't trust men specifically my friends.

All the same, you still need to let her know that you trust her, by giving her little space, even if you don't trust your friends; once she sees your changes, she will do all it takes to............, no matter who crosses her part
26  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: HOW DESPEREATE ARE U ABOUT UR PARTNER. on: 19-12-2010 04:46 PM
Is good that you love your wife that much; but you need to give her some breathing space (freedom) as Pointzero said, else one day she may become very uncomfortable with that, she will then sees it as, you are Controlling, Dominant, and Imposing etc; One a woman start seeing a man like that, she might start loosing interest on him, reason is that she feels untrusted
27  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? (Page 4) on: 19-12-2010 02:51 PM
Quote from: samboko on 19-12-2010 02:35 PM
Poster, i like your responses so far....there is no 10/10 in any relationship, be it just casual friend or marrying partner....for those who read bible, it is not written there that a man will marry a 10/10 wife...but says, any man who marries a woman has found a good thing from the Lord....

To the topic, that your friend needs help! Because, he already signifies that he has tried to let go several times only to find himself back in the lady A's arm....yet he can never marry lady A! It doesnt sound right to me....he even agrees that his wife, lady B has all he wants in a woman....this guy, to me, is not a cheater because he is not messing with other ladies but one particular one he cant marry....he is carrying a heavy load of problem....the easiest way to get out of his problem is to speak out to his wife! Im not expecting the wife to start quarreling or go beat lady A up....both of them need heart-to-heart talk and prayers....whenever the urge comes to him to go see the other woman, he must tell his wife, so the wife can do something.....to me the guy dont have good friends....they should have tried to stop him or help him out from seeing the other lady...now is your turn to help him, poster....


Thanks for the remarks; His friends (male) are wost than him, according to him, so there can be no help from them....; As for the SUBJECT..., he loves the wife...; but when it comes to a particular aspect he doesn't LOVE her
28  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? (Page 4) on: 19-12-2010 02:20 PM
Okay
29  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 19-12-2010 09:59 AM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 03:50 AM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 12:16 PM
There's this friend of my, who got married 5years ago; during our chat, he told me, that he's still seeing the lady (Lady A) he went out with before getting married; I was astonish hearing that!, 'cos i know the wife, from my own perspective she (the wife/Lady B) got all it takes, both in terms of beauty and wife material stuffs:

I told him if you so love this other lady, you she have got married to her, instead of your present wife..., you courted both of them and decide to settle for Lady B (the wife); He responds was, over my dead body will i settle for Lady A, but at the same time, i find it difficult letting her go, 'cos i have tried severally to stop seeing her, at the end of the day, i still find myself in her arms; I quit agreed with you that my wife got all it takes, but all the same something is missing somewhere....., you wouldn't get it, he added:

The essence of courtship is to figure out things... before tying knot..., we all know that no one is perfect (i:e no ideal woman/man); but at the same time, i think, E:g if out of 10 characteristic we need..., we find say 7 in one particular person; why will one get stuck with a fellow that has 4, when he already tie the knot, with the one that has 7?. It suck!; Moreover, i found out, that he's not ready to quit Lady A, 'Cos when i asked him, how will you handle things, if your wife finds out? he said, how will she..? you are not gonna tell her, will you?

So my question is, WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE/WANT?


Because they are desperate at this point and they are willing to settle down with whatever they can find. Even if they have a list of requirements about what they want in a woman, they still say Oh, its 4 out of 7..I guess she is manageable. But what people don't know is that, its not manageable if that is not what you have in mind. if that is not what your requirement entails then you shouldn't sell yourself short. Be patient and wait for your 7/7 because there is definitely someone out there who has all your requirements.

In tends of the man and his wife, He has to somehow confront his wife at some point. If he love and respect his wife then he needs to come clean with her, 99 days for the thief but 1 day for the owner, she will definitely find out even if its not from you poster. that is if she haven't find out by now and she is pretending. He might never know, maybe she wants him to say something. maybe she too is not enjoying the sex.

Sure! someday she might find out, 'cos she somehow suspest him already: Regarding the characteristics, what he got is a better option, she got 7/10 while the other got 4/10, from my perspective 10/10 doesn't exist, ideal partner is just a fantacy, cos nobody is perfect, in-other-words he should count himself lucky 4 having 7/10 
30  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 19-12-2010 12:29 AM
Quote from: bittersweet on 18-12-2010 02:20 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:52 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 18-12-2010 01:49 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:46 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 18-12-2010 01:43 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:41 PM
BS u dont knw if it is dirty or perverse.... He shud open up to his wife and talk!

I bet he is,otherwise he would ask them from his wife!
Probably he likes who knows what dirty craps!



You right 'cos his in lust hehe
U dont knw wat it is... Som men r rily not dat talking type u knw, not even to their wives!


I know that men have problems with opening up,but he should have tried talking with her wife about what he wants instead of cheating!
That's why I assume that maybe it's something really nasty, but no matter what would be, he really lacks conscience!

Agreed! He shudn hav done wat he did!


That's what happens when the flesh becomes stronger than the spirit!
31  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 19-12-2010 12:08 AM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 05:59 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 02:28 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 02:11 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 02:06 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:47 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:44 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:33 PM
If only a man will learn to open up to his wife!!

I guess the only thing he need from lady A is sex, maybe his wife is doing something wrong there...

Why can't he just talk to her about it, give her the chance to save her marriage!


Yaa opening-up is sure the key, but i think he may be shying away from that
Yes i think so too! And lady A (like Onyin said) should send him home!

And his wife should open her eyes and realise there is something going on!




No matter how she open her eyes, there's no how she will know without being told, i mean from the way the man is handling it
Hmmm okay so he's good in what he does  Undecided

Why can't u talk to him in a way he will understand and stop wht he is doing?
Are u guys close so tht u can have conversation like dat ?




Am close to both of them, the big problem there, is that both of them (husband and wife) seems to confide in me; and i do same to them 2, that's why there issue is eating me up, am feeling bad for the wife; sometimes i have the urge to give the wife a clue; but at same time i don't wanna be a betrayer; i 've tried talking to him, he told me that sincerely is not he's wish...; but that he can't help himself out
Hmmm it's not easy when they r both ur friend. But one thing i wudn do is tell the wife or give her clue
bcos dat is only gonna bring more problems!

U rily have to talk to him gud and make him understand which kinda risk he is taking!




I see to that; it needs God's intervention though

@Priceless-jewel i will sue u  Cheesy
32  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: where can one get a good girl to marry on: 18-12-2010 04:25 PM
trash
33  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: How long could you abstain from sex? on: 18-12-2010 03:54 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:24 PM
As long as i want!

For the people who make it sound like it is the most difficult thing in the world, i feel for u and i also feel for ur

gf/bf/hubby/wife, bcos what is gonna happen if one has to travel?? hmmmm  Undecided



Thanks dear, very simple to do, all it take is to condition your mind, that you don't wanna do it, if your alone or not it wouldn't change anything
34  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: my girl friend for 2 years lost her virginity to another man.now she wants me on: 18-12-2010 03:11 PM
same post the other side
35  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? (Page 3) on: 18-12-2010 03:06 PM
Quote from: Priceless-jewel on 18-12-2010 02:57 PM
reading

U better comment or Smiley
36  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 18-12-2010 02:54 PM
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 02:14 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:59 PM
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 01:43 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:14 PM
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 01:01 PM
Lady A is very good in bed.And he loves his wife very well.A man can cheat and still go back home to love his wife,becos for most of them cheating is nothing.Its more like having fun.but such men,only God can heal them.

ure! my dear;  she might be good in bed, but that's very bad of him, because whatever his getting from Lady A, the wife can equally give it to him, if he can be very open to her; cheating is cheating No one can be justify for doing that, be it a man or woman
We keep blaming the men,but wat about the women they cheat with.I mean most of all this women are the ones responsible for all this.If lady A can sit him down,talk to him and send him back home.trust he will change.it takes two to tangle.

I wasn't blaming the men  Cheesy, that was why i said: cheating is cheating No one can be justify for doing that, be it a man or woman; Admitted that Lady A wasn't a helping matter here either, but if the man love the wife like he claim, he would have teach the wife whatever is it, his getting from lady A, am sure lady B will do that seeing how much she loves him  
I know.I got your point.I mentioned lady A cos she would have been of a great help.Becos seems like she's the one who is holding more power here.although the man can still avoid her and go back to his wife.Like I said such men needs prayers.And  his wife,hmmm you know sumtimes sum women tend to be too tight and serious after marriage.Probably she hardly give him sex,and she's too carried away with other stuff.I mean if your husband is cheating,no matter wat you will surely know.Tht's if you are really close to him and if you know him really well.I pray he changes though,befor his wife finds out and leave him.

The aim of lady A is to see the rock the boat, so that she can take-over, though the man isn't ready for that, 'cos they now got kids; As for the being tight, she isn't, cos she told me the husband do sleep in different  room some times, claiming he doesn't want to be disturb; though she thinking otherwise, but have no prove, even if she has evidence, she no longer believe in Divorce/Separation after marriage, there are lots of hints about them, but i can't put all here, 'cos someone may figure them out, who knows.... so you is a tough situation
37  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 18-12-2010 02:28 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 02:11 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 02:06 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:47 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:44 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:33 PM
If only a man will learn to open up to his wife!!

I guess the only thing he need from lady A is sex, maybe his wife is doing something wrong there...

Why can't he just talk to her about it, give her the chance to save her marriage!


Yaa opening-up is sure the key, but i think he may be shying away from that
Yes i think so too! And lady A (like Onyin said) should send him home!

And his wife should open her eyes and realise there is something going on!




No matter how she open her eyes, there's no how she will know without being told, i mean from the way the man is handling it
Hmmm okay so he's good in what he does  Undecided

Why can't u talk to him in a way he will understand and stop wht he is doing?
Are u guys close so tht u can have conversation like dat ?




Am close to both of them, the big problem there, is that both of them (husband and wife) seems to confide in me; and i do same to them 2, that's why there issue is eating me up, am feeling bad for the wife; sometimes i have the urge to give the wife a clue; but at same time i don't wanna be a betrayer; i 've tried talking to him, he told me that sincerely is not he's wish...; but that he can't help himself out
38  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 18-12-2010 02:13 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 18-12-2010 01:49 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:46 PM
Quote from: bittersweet on 18-12-2010 01:43 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:41 PM
BS u dont knw if it is dirty or perverse.... He shud open up to his wife and talk!

I bet he is,otherwise he would ask them from his wife!
Probably he likes who knows what dirty craps!

U dont knw wat it is... Som men r rily not dat talking type u knw, not even to their wives!


I know that men have problems with opening up,but he should have tried talking with her wife about what he wants instead of cheating!
That's why I assume that maybe it's something really nasty, but no matter what would be, he really lacks conscience!


You said it all

@ Iloveit: Naaaaaahhh is his wife, so he should be open to her no matter how misterious....., ....they are now one, no more two..., that what the Bible said, so he should free to share idea with her
39  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 18-12-2010 02:06 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:47 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:44 PM
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 18-12-2010 01:33 PM
If only a man will learn to open up to his wife!!

I guess the only thing he need from lady A is sex, maybe his wife is doing something wrong there...

Why can't he just talk to her about it, give her the chance to save her marriage!


Yaa opening-up is sure the key, but i think he may be shying away from that
Yes i think so too! And lady A (like Onyin said) should send him home!

And his wife should open her eyes and realise there is something going on!




No matter how she open her eyes, there's no how she will know without being told, i mean from the way the man is handling it
40  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? on: 18-12-2010 01:59 PM
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 01:43 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 01:14 PM
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 01:01 PM
Lady A is very good in bed.And he loves his wife very well.A man can cheat and still go back home to love his wife,becos for most of them cheating is nothing.Its more like having fun.but such men,only God can heal them.

ure! my dear;  she might be good in bed, but that's very bad of him, because whatever his getting from Lady A, the wife can equally give it to him, if he can be very open to her; cheating is cheating No one can be justify for doing that, be it a man or woman
We keep blaming the men,but wat about the women they cheat with.I mean most of all this women are the ones responsible for all this.If lady A can sit him down,talk to him and send him back home.trust he will change.it takes two to tangle.

I wasn't blaming the men  Cheesy, that was why i said: cheating is cheating No one can be justify for doing that, be it a man or woman; Admitted that Lady A wasn't a helping matter here either, but if the man love the wife like he claim, he would have teach the wife whatever is it, his getting from lady A, am sure lady B will do that seeing how much she loves him  
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