Once upon a time all feelings and
emotions went to a coastal
island for a vacation. According
to their nature, each was having
a good time. Suddenly, a warning
of an impending storm was
announced and everyone was
advised to evacuate the island.
The announcement caused
sudden panic. All rushed to their
boats. Even damaged boats were
quickly repaired and
commissioned for duty.
Yet, Love did not wish to flee
quickly. There was so much to
do. But as the clouds darkened,
Love realised it was time to
leave. Alas, there were no boats
to spare. Love looked around
with hope.
Just then Prosperity passed by
in a luxurious boat. Love
shouted, “Prosperity, could you
please take me in your boat?”
“No,” replied Prosperity, “my
boat is full of precious
possessions, gold and silver.
There is no place for you.”
A little later Vanity came by in a
beautiful boat. Again Love
shouted, “Could you help me,
Vanity? I am stranded and need
a lift. Please take me with you.”
Vanity responded haughtily, “No,
I cannot take you with me. My
boat will get soiled with your
muddy feet.”
Sorrow passed by after some
time. Again, Love asked for help.
But it was to no avail. “No, I
cannot take you with me. I am so
sad. I want to be by myself.”
When Happiness passed by a few
minutes later, Love again called
for help. But Happiness was so
happy that it did not look
around, hardly concerned about
anyone.
Love was growing restless and
dejected. Just then somebody
called out, “Come Love, I will take
you with me.” Love did not know
who was being so magnanimous,
but jumped on to the boat,
greatly relieved that she would
reach a safe place.
On getting off the boat, Love
met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love
inquired, “Knowledge, do you
know who so generously gave
me a lift just when no one else
wished to help?”
Knowledge smiled, “Oh, that was
Time.”
“And why would Time stop to
pick me and take me to safety?”
Love wondered.
Knowledge smiled with deep
wisdom and replied, “Because
only Time knows your true
greatness and what you are
capable of. Only Love can bring
peace and great happiness in
this world.”
“The important message is that
when we are prosperous, we
overlook love. When we feel
important, we forget love. Even
in happiness and sorrow we
forget love. Only with time do we
realize the importance of love.
Why wait that long? Why not
make love a part of your life
today?”

A man died and was taken to his
place of eternal torment by the
devil. As he passed sulfurous pits
and shrieking sinners, he saw a
man he recognized as a lawyer
snuggling up to a beautiful
woman.
"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have
to roast for all eternity, and
that lawyer gets to spend it
with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil,
jabbing him with his pitchfork.
"Who are you to question that
woman's punishment?"

A woman and her little girl were
visitng the grave of the little
girl's grandmother. On their way
through the cemetery back to
the car, the little girl asked,
"Mommy, do they ever bury two
people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the
mother, "Why would you think
that?"
"The tombstone back there said
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest
man.'"

An engineer dies and reports
to the pearly gates. St.
Peter checks his dossier and
says, "Ah, you`re an engineer
-- you`re in the wrong
place."
So the engineer reports to
the gates of hell and is let in.
Pretty soon, the engineer
gets dissatisfied with the
level of comfort in hell, and
starts designing and building
improvements. After a while,
they`ve got air conditioning
and flush toilets and
escalators, and the engineer
is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up
on the telephone and says
with a sneer, "So, how`s it
going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things
are going great. We`ve got
air conditioning and flush
toilets and escalators, and
there`s no telling what this
engineer is going to come up
with next."
God replies, "What??? You`ve
got an engineer? That`s a
mistake -- he should never
have gotten down there;
send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like
having an engineer on the
staff, and I`m keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up
here or I`ll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously
and answers, "Yeah, right.
And just where are YOU
going to get a lawyer?"

naso o she go kolet tire

definately dia is burial service sufa it was Xtian hahahahaha

An Angry Wife To
Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ... ?"
Husband:
Darling You Remember That
Jewelery Shop Where You Saw
The Diamond Necklace n Totally
Fell In Love With It n I Didn't
Have Money That Time n I said
"Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... " O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
Yeah I Remember That My Love !
Husband:
I m In The Pub Just Next To That
Shop

A man was dead n his soul was
taken 2 heaven,
God was shocked 2 c his heart
beats.
Man replied "only I am dead bt
my lover still live in my heart"



Boy : wat u'll do if i die?
gal naughtily said : i'll be happy!
nxt day c got news the boy
died & he left a lettr 4 her
"I can do anything 2 make u
happy.."

comfirm

comfirm

A man dies and goes to hell.
There he finds that there is a
different hell for each country
and decides he’ll pick the least
painful to spend his eternity. And
with Ghanaians penchant for life
overseas, he decides to try
countries with greener pastures.
He goes to the hell earmarked
for Germany and asks, “what do
they do here?” He is told “first
they put you in an electric chair
for an hour. Then they lay you
on a bed of nails for another
hour. Then the German devil
comes in and whips you for the
rest of the day”.
The man does not like the sound
of that at all so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as
well as the Russian hell and many
more. He discovers that they are
all similar to the German hell.
So he resigns himself to the
Ghana hell, where he finds a long
queue of people waiting to get
in.
Amazed, he asks, “What do they
do here?” He is told “first they
put you in an electric chair for
an hour, then they lay you on a
bed of nails for another hour.
The Ghanaian devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the
day.”
“But that is exactly the same as
all the other hells why are there
so many people waiting to get
in?” asks the man.
“Because there is never any
electricity so the electric chair
does not work. The nails were
paid for but never supplied, so
the bed is comfortable to sleep
on. And the Ghanaian devil used
to be a civil servant, so he
comes in, signs his time sheet
and goes back home for private
business.”
(For once, it pays to be a
Ghanai) ;D;D;D;D;D;D;D

[size=][/size][size=][/size][size=][/size]
Ibusmoney says:-

Getting married is very much
like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what
you want, then when you
see what the other person
has, you wish you had
ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one
woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other replied,
"Yes, I am, I married the
wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband
said to his wife, "You know, I
was a fool when I married
you." She replied, "Yes, dear,
but I was in love and didn't
notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the
classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a
hundred letters. They all said
the same thing: "You can
have mine."
The bride, upon her
engagement, went to her
mother and said, "I've found
a man just like father!" Her
mother replied, "So what do
you want from me,
sympathy?"
When a woman steals your
husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her
keep him.
Eighty percent of married
men cheat in America. The
rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is
married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?" And
the father replied, "I don't
know son, I'm still paying."
Q: Is it all right to bring a
date to the wedding?
A: Not if you are the groom.
Q: What music is
recommended for the
wedding ceremony?
A: Anything except 'Tied to
the Whipping Post'.
Q: How can you tell the
married men at a wedding
reception?
A: They're the ones dancing
with everyone but their
wives.
Q: What is a wedding
tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love,
and then find out he has no
money.
Q: How do I make my wife
stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
"My girlfriend told me I
should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends."
Q: How do most men define
marriage?
A: A very expensive way to
getting their laundry done
free.
Words to live by: Do not
argue with a spouse who is
packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): "My
wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to
men until they can walk
down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and
still think they are beautiful.

  just imagine! They have start given the unborn child different names. Anyway the pregnant is 8 weeks old (2month) and this is 4 month and some days we have meet. But still, she insist that I own the pregnant. We are planing to go for DNA text now.

Hmm what could this girl mean? Am dating a girl, but we are not leaving in thesame town. She is leaving in Ilorin and am leaving Sokoto, but I normally visit her. We due make free call at night. We talk or let me say when talking, we make disguise as if we are having sex  through phone for almost one year, every time we talk on phone. What surprise me is that, she called me just some days back and told me she  is 8 weeks pregnant and it's for me. I thought she is joking, but she insist, I visit her and she is truelly pregnant, she claim that am the only guy that ever sex . Though I disvirgin her and its getting to 4 month I have sex except the one on phone. Guys please help me out what should I do?

Am still laughing oh

Hahahaha Lol dnt burst my stomach.