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61  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: JEST KAME BACH PHROM PANYA!! (Page 2) on: 4-09-2012 03:08 PM
zeee  boi

lol, bakassi boiz don give her run 4 her moni
she nakout even run pax Usai blake Cheesy Cheesy
how far, me hia say u don go gaga
bt u neva cras sha
62  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: Receive ur miracle now! on: 3-09-2012 07:12 PM
if 9ja bwoiz leave con act diz place (earth) will be no way different from heaven...
63  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: damn u! on: 3-09-2012 07:08 PM
I almost lost count in finding out the actual number of the finger act, here is what I found out. 6
its true don't hate
64  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: JEST KAME BACH PHROM PANYA!! (Page 2) on: 3-09-2012 07:03 PM
 Grin Grin Grin
Expert na wa for  oooo
how come u no market is no good but u giv ur woman ur BB beans and bread yestdy
65  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: JEST KAME BACH PHROM PANYA!! on: 3-09-2012 07:00 PM
honestly, this is vwalaly good seriously I must confess...
good job bt no ftanx cox E makes me want to do more... don't ask want am doing cox I no wat am doing
66  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: JEST KAME BACH PHROM PANYA!! on: 3-09-2012 06:52 PM
Quote from: chummyli on 31-08-2012 06:38 PM
They r hia presido!.... But under tranquillizer... Wen dd u escape from psycho cos na dia u dey wen ur followers de update u of werin de happen hia



Chei!

see madness of greatest quality... chief of all psycho how market
 Wink Wink
67  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: how cum u no cum on: 31-08-2012 04:07 PM
Why I even Cum hia sef
dis posta brain CUM outside im skull
68  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / JEST KAME BACH PHROM PANYA!! on: 31-08-2012 04:00 PM
JUST FOUND OUT THAT NAIJAPALS HAS BEEN CHANGED....
1. IS'T TRUE
2. WHY
3. HOW
4. BY WHO

5. NEED ANSWERS
6. NOW OR NEVER
7. WHERE ARE MY YEYE
phriendz?
69  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ROBERTO DI MATEO PEN'S DOWN A 2YEAR DEAL WITH CHELSEA (Page 3) on: 24-06-2012 02:54 PM
koya
70  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: HiTv RONDON READ TO MOVE TO CH195 skytv. if it's a yoke pls stop and read it on: 24-06-2012 02:52 PM
since last week yew stil dey drink dis ur bia, and yew stil dey kari dis gun wey bi pax yew
71  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ABRAHAM LINCOLN, premiering on NTA now... on: 24-06-2012 02:49 PM
spoilt pikins like yew
72  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / ABRAHAM LINCOLN, premiering on NTA now... on: 23-06-2012 10:25 PM
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "KWAF". This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the KWAFTINS in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having KWAF."

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife KWAF three times this week."
73  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: HiTv RONDON READ TO MOVE TO CH195 skytv. if it's a yoke pls stop and read it on: 23-06-2012 10:15 PM
TANK GOD SEY THE YOKE NO READ U SEF
 Cheesy
74  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: HiTv RONDON READ TO MOVE TO CH195 skytv. if it's a yoke pls stop and read it on: 23-06-2012 03:38 PM
okay, what next?
75  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / HiTv RONDON READ TO MOVE TO CH195 skytv. if it's a yoke pls stop and read it on: 23-06-2012 03:18 AM
1. A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their segxwal inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex."

This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired.

She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning. A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again.

She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."


2.A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey

3.A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"


4.A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, Bosom  augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."                                           


5.A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his senior vicar about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive way of living, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the senior vicar. "Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the father.

6.God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."

The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."

And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grand children.

7.A pastor had lost his cock (Male hen) and didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next day he asked, "Has anybody got the cock?" All the men stood up.

"No! no! I mean has anybody seen the cock?" All the women folk stood up.

"No! no! I mean has anybody seen my cock?" All the femal choir stood up.

8.One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he said, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"

God replied, "Go on Adam but be quick. I have a world to create."

So Adam says, "When you created Eve, why did you make her body so curved and tender unlike mine?"

"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"

"I did that Adam so that you could love her."

"Oh, well then, why did you make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"

"Well, Adam no. I did that so that she could love you."
Q. How do we know that Adam and Eve were Mennonite?

A. Who else would be alone in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit?


10. A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"

He goes to minister... a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of year's tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.

The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

The rabbi softly speaks, " If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."
 
9.


76  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ROBERTO DI MATEO PEN'S DOWN A 2YEAR DEAL WITH CHELSEA (Page 3) on: 23-06-2012 02:59 AM
okay, just chilling  Cool
77  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ROBERTO DI MATEO PEN'S DOWN A 2YEAR DEAL WITH CHELSEA (Page 3) on: 20-06-2012 08:16 PM
don't pack yet just park here 'cos the party is yet to begin
78  Forum / Naijapals Base (Metro life) / Re: R.I.P: Ex Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak Is Dead! (Page 5) on: 20-06-2012 02:09 PM
HE'S NOT IN A COMA AND IS VERY MUCH ALIVE 'COURSE OF HIS ENORMOUS IMPROVEMENT IN THE HOSPITAL FROM CAIRO PRISON
DON'T WISH NOBODY DEAD PLEASE
79  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ROBERTO DI MATEO PEN'S DOWN A 2YEAR DEAL WITH CHELSEA (Page 3) on: 20-06-2012 01:58 PM
why confused?
re u also perplex? if yes 4k off
80  Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Re: ROBERTO DI MATEO PEN'S DOWN A 2YEAR DEAL WITH CHELSEA (Page 2) on: 20-06-2012 11:40 AM
nice try fella
keep it up huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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