LATEST FUNNY QUOTES
(1) When you scream God's name during
sex,
I wonder if you're trying to remind Him to
punish u later."
(2) The day a Ghost got involved in an
accident was the
day i stopped watching Nollywood."
(3) What's the relationship between Rain &
PHCN in
Nigeria? It seems almost like an automatic
switch thing..
(4) Someone walks up to u licking Ice-
Cream and
tells
u to help him with T-fare cos he's
Stranded..pls
shoot Him!"
(5) He did the Exam so well that He Took
the
Answer Scripts Home to show His Room-
mates"
(6) That awkward moment when you
type"Trophyless " on Google and the result
shows"Arsenal""
(7) Just put currency sign in front of your
pin
and igbo
girls would add you. $"
(
Sweat from some girls' armpits will turn
blue litmus paper red."
(9) If your Girlfriend refuses to accept the
Bible
&
anointing oil or Qu'ran as Vals gift, free
her, na
WITCH"
(10) They say love is more important than
money. Pls
try paying a lagos conductor with a hug?"
(11) In a Nigerian Home...If your friend
forgets to greet your parents, that's the
end of
that
friendship.
(12) Women are like police, they might have
all the evidence in the world but they still
want
a confession!"
(13) People That Smoke Weed Before Going
To Church. You Wanna Compete With The
Most
High?"
(14) In a Naija Home, ur parents will call u
frm
ur room
to pick up something that is sitting literally
2inches away from them.
(15) If God's Plan For You is BROWN TEETH,
Even IRON SPONGE Cannot Change It!"
(16) If 80k brazilian hair couldn't get you a
good husband, why not use it to pay a
counselor to talk good
sense into your life"
(17) Ushers sef.. Dey won't allow one sleep
comfortably
during service.. Thought the house of God
is
also my father's house?"
(18) The hot girl next to me in class just fell
asleep. Maybe I should fall asleep too..so I
can
tell my
friends I slept wit her?"
(19) WHITE KID: "Shut Up Dad"!!; *Dad
shuts
up* DAD- *Shut too*
9JA KID: "Pale, Shut up abeg"
*wakes up*....where am i?....DOCTOR:
Oloshi..Igbobi Hospital"
(20) A slap is a manual override mechanism
used to rectify a person acting like a
fool.....no
one is above a manual reset."
(21) Some people with their names tho,
how can you be naming identical twins
"Praise
and Worship"?"
(22) U opend Ur legs & he bought U BOLD
5, U
opend 4 anoda guy & he paid for Ur BIS.
Pls
open 4 me too, lemme buy U d Charger."
(23) And So, I was watching a yoruba
movie...and this
Guy shot himself in the head
THRICE...Awon
Oloriburuku!!"
(24) Someone Blocked His Dad on
facebook,
the Dad also Blocked Him from entering the
House
(25) One rapper just said "My blood is so
full,
call me 'bloody fool'".......
(26) U can't recite a Bible Passage! but u
can
mention 68 Hotels & Clubs in Lagos
without
thinking?
My Sista, ur life is blinkin on a low ba3!"
(27) Marrying a lady whose cooking skills
can
only be
compared to Victor IKPEBA's English is
suicide."
(28) All women MUST get married! No man
should go unpunished!"
(29) Its only a Yoruba Father that Prices
School
Fees!"
(30) You try to call your GF from a public
call
centre on her street, and Her number
appears as
'Sweet
Heart'.....The Lord is ur strenght
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