2011 and 2012 conversation
2011: My son am tired.
2012: why?
2011: My time is up, i will be
going to join your forefathers.
2012: I know, u have less than 38
hours to live... I will miss you Dad.
2011: But let me tell you some
things b4 I go.
2012: What is it?
2011: Please when I go, make
sure you take care of this person.
2012: Who?...
2011: The person (reading)
listening to this conversation of
ours?
2012: Okay
2011: I made some promises to
this person during my reign, I
fulfilled some, and some I couldn’t.
2012: But why couldn’t you fulfill
all dad?
2011: Well, my son...sometimes
time and human factors affected
some of the promises
2012: But...
2011: But surely, I spoke with God
on this person's behalf, and God
granted my wish in you to fulfill
the rest promises. So these are
the rest of the fulfillment you will
carry out on this person..
2012: Go on dad..
2011: Stabilize this person's
health without cease all through
your reign! Open a direct link
between our God and this person
2012: Done, carry on
2011: Ensure that this person's
dreams come to reality within the
shortest
2012: Alright
2011: Give this person wealth that
will touch lives of multitudes
2012: surely
2011: Make sure that you remove
all remaining hindrances to
success from this person's way, I
have being trying to make sure
that money will never remain d
priority of this person, so keep to
that pls, make sure son!
2012: I will dad, no problem!
2011: Pay more emphasis on the
advice of this person's friends,
don't worry about that of this
person's enemies, God will take
care of that! Get it?
2012: Yes
2011: Finally, promise me that
when your own time is up, you
will instruct that your offspring
after offspring (2013, 2014,
2015.....to....2100) to keep positive
fulfillment of this person going!
2012: Yes dad, may God help me!
2011: Now I can pass to the
beyond happily! May you be
prosperous!!!
2012: Amen!
This is wishing u all a glorious
2012.

(18+ ) XxX SCANDAL
BOY >> girl what am i
doing now ?
GIRL >> you are , uh you
are ho ho ho ho holding
ma ma my hands
BOY >> girl what am i
doing to you now ?
GIRL >> you..you.. you
are mmm cu cu cu ..
cuddling my body
BOY >> ok girl what am i
doing now ?
GIRL >> you are , you
are .. are mmm mm
kissing my lips
BOY >> wow that's
good ,now what am i
doing next ?
GIRL >> you are eh eh,
you are awww eh
touching my thing
BOY >> yeah i know you
like it , so what am i doing
now ?
GIRL >> uuh you are
yeahhh you...you.....you
are mmm arrgh , you
are , you are
co...co........co....co...co
oh yeah mm you
co...co....collecting HIV
plus AIDS
BOY >> {screams}
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat ! ! !
AIDS is real o,
so guys BEWARE
play safe.get tested

who wants to be a millionaire?
which of these wen removed will
give Nigerians the greatest joy?
A:fuel subsidy
b:boko haram
c:Goodluck Jonathan
lyf lines...........
1.call a frnd
2.50:50.

three drunk guys stopped a taxi
nd d driver sensing they were
drunk starts d engine nd turned it
off without
moving an inch.He said "we
don reach o".D first guy gave him
money,the second guy said "thank
you" while d third guy gave d
driver a
dirty slap.D driver was
surprised,thinking d third guy had
realized d trick.So he
asked "what was that for?" D
third
guyreplied "Control ur speed next
time,U̶̲̥̅̊ nearly killed us...lol

NOW THAT FUEL SUBSIDY HAS BEEN
REMOVED:
*Jonathan will finally have the
money †Φ send his wife †Φ nursery
school
*NEPA go follow us D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ shout. "up
Nepa":O
*we can finally ride bicycle †Φ work
and class or maybe one day
compete internationally in
cyclingO:)
*if you see ♏̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ ride bike Holla at ur
boy #in wizkid voice=D
*BIS will go from N1500 back †Φ
N5000 >:O
*dating your neighbour will be
cheaper for you oh(y)
*Frank Edoho on who wants †Φ be
A̶̲̥̅̊ millionaire will be like "now the
next question is for 50litres of
petrol"
*witchcraft business will begin †Φ
move..free-flying-transportation:x
*people that travelled †Φ d village
for Christmas may not return =))
*i need to learn the songs my
grandparents sang while trekking
long distances=D
*now is the time †Φ know who gat
the money #in ikechukwu's voice:p
* you ♥ωïƖƖ be forced 2 change 2
nokia touchlight:'(.

Customer-how much u dey cut hair
barber-ogaa na 100naira wit
nepa and 800naira wit gen
customer-abeg flash me when
nepa bring light...

Girl-hi
boy-hi
girl-lets meet
boy-like where?
Girl-somewhere very expensive
boy-alright meet me at the filling
station by 4pm tomorrow..
Lmfao

A car was snatched at gunpoint
today in Lagos and the owner
was screaming My Fuel My Fuel My
Fuel:'(=))=D L̳̿Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇L

A drunk fell of his 4th floor
balcony...bypassers rushed to his
aid and were asking him what had
happened. He raised his head and
says, 'I dont know, I have also just
arrived now.'

LESSONS IN
MARKETING You see a
gorgeous girl at a party.
You went
up to her and say "I am
very rich.
Marry me". That's DIRECT
MARKETING You are at a
party
with a bunch of friends and
see a
gorgeous girl. One of your
friends
goes up to her and
pointing at
you says, "He is very rich.
Marry
him". That's ADVERTISING
You see
a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go
up to her and get her
telephone
number. The next day you
called
her and say, "Hi, I am very
rich.
Marry me". That's
TELEMARKETING.
You are at a party and see
a
beautiful girl. You get up
and
straighten your tie, you
walk up to
her and pour her a drink.
You
open the door for her, pick
up her
bag after she drops it, offer
her a
ride, and then say, 'By the
way,
I'm very rich. Will you
marry me?'.
That's PUBLIC RELATIONS.
You are
at a party and see a
gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and
says,
"You are very rich". That's
BRAND
RECOGNITION. You see a
gorgeous
girl at a party. You go up to
her
and say, "I am very rich.
Marry
me". She gives you a nice
hard
slap on your face. That's
CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

Three tortoise,mike,andy and roy
decide to go on a picnic. So mike
packs e picnic bucket wit beers
and sandwiches. The trouble is e
picnic site is 10 miles away so it
took them ten days to get there.
Wen they got there mike unpacks
the food and says 'ok roy,give me
the bottle opener'. 'I dint bring it'
says roy! Mike turns to andy and
says 'did u bring the bottle opener,
andy didn't bring it either. So they
are stuck ten miles from home
without a bottle opener. Mike and
Andy begged Roy to go back since
he's e fastest,but he refuses as he
says they will eat all the
sandwiches. After 2hrs,and after
they have sworn not to eat the
sandwiches,he finally agrees. So
roy sets off down the road at a
steady pace. Twenty days pass
and he still isn't back and mike and
andy are starving. But a promise is
a promise. Another 5 days and he
still isn't back,but a promise is a
promise. Finally they can't take it
any longer. So they take a
sandwich each,and just as they
are about to eat it, Roy pops from
behind a rock and shouts ' I KNEW
IT....................AM NOT GOIN AGAIN!!

This woman was having an affair
during the day while her husband
was at work. One day she was in
bed with her boyfriend and she
heard her husband's car pull in
the driveway. She yelled at the
boyfriend "Hurry! Grab your
clothes and jump out the window
my husband is home early!"
The boyfriend looked out the
window and said, "I can't jump
out the window! It's raining like
hell out there!" She said, "If my
husband catches us in here, he
will kill both of us!" So the
boyfriend grabs his clothes and
jumps out the window!
When he landed outside he was
in the middle of a "running
Marathon" so he started running
along beside the others only he
was still in the Nood, carrying his
clothes on his arm.
One of the runners asked him, "Do
you always run in the Nood?" He
answered, while gasping for air,
"Oh yes, It feels so free having the
air blow over your skin while you
are running."
The other runner then asked the
Nood man, "Do you always run
carrying your clothes on your
arm?" The Nood man answered
breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I
can get dressed at the end of the
run and get in my car to go
home!"
The runner then asked, "Do you
always wear a condom when you
run?" The nuddy answered, "Only
if it's raining.