U try

Men were born between the legs of women and still men struggle to go back there. Simply show NO PLACE LIKE HOME……..

A.prostituite.was.arrested.by.the.police.and.was.asked.her.profession.she.said? social engineering?.She builds and demolishes ERECTIONS!

Little Johnny went into the confesson booth with a turkey in his arms. Johnny said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and assuage my guilt?”

“Certainly not,” said the priest.

“As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”

“I tried,” Little Johnny sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”

“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”

Little Johnny’s tears stopped, a smile returned to his face, and he rushed home to his family.

When confession was over, the priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found his Thanksgiving turkey was missing!

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him she needs to file taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.”
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?”
The woman replies, “I’m a wh*re.”
The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.”
“No, that’s still too crude. Try again.”
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What has that got to do with with being a wh*re or a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”

The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, “Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?”

The doctor quickly responded, “To avoid criticism.”

A car is crossing a large bridge when a policeman pulls him over.

“Congratulations!” the officer says. “This is the 250,000th car to cross this bridge and you’ve won $250,000.”

“Great!” the man says, “Now I can finally get my drivers-license!”

His wife, sitting next to him hits him on the head and says to the officer, “Don’t mind him, he always lies like this when he’s drunk!”

And Grandma, who was sleeping in the back of the car, finally wakes up and yells to the man and woman:
“See ? I told you, you’ll never get far in a stolen car !”

The church’s gardener had just finished cleaning the courtyard of a large accumulation of pigeon droppings when another flock landed on the statuary in the garden.

Furious, he began yelling at them “phyuk off, you bastards, phyuk off!”

Just then, the pastor came out and, hearing how upset the gardener was, said to him, “There’s no need to use profanity, my friend. Just wave your arms and say ‘Shoo, birdies, Shoo, birdies. You’ll see, they’ll phyuk off.”

A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."

"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate." The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No Shit!"

horrible ring tone

Advantages of Bosom  milk.

1. No need 2 boil.

2. available in pretty and suck able packs.

3. popular in all ages.

 

4. Cats can't steal.

 

5. Buy 1 and get 1 free.

6. The only milk without NAFDAC NUMBER/ Expiring DATE

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However; she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Girls  asked GOD 2 make the dick better looking, and GOD replied, no! i made it ugly and u suck it, if i make it pretty u'll eat it

You are so ugly  you went for an ugly contest  the host  said not professionals

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

There was a Zambian girl who got married to a Chinese man, after two months in the new marriage she got pregnant and duly bore a baby girl who died; the Aunt at the funeral came crying. `I KNEW IT(3)   IT.So close relatives got curious, took the Aunt on the side and in a quest to establi... what she knew. she said loudly, I KNEW IT, THAT CHINESE PRODUCTS DONT LAST!!

A. KIRIKIRI CELL
B. ALAGBON CELL
C. AGODI CELL
D.PANTI CELL
E.ELEWE ERAN CELL
F.ALAGOLO
If any of these cells can not be found in human cell that means oyinbo still has lot to prove to us abi na lie?  them no be cells?

May god 4give u lmao

Nice One

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired."

They say, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment.

“You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring

your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with
Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and
your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.”

“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.”


The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed

her parrots in with them.
Immediately, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?” There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and
exclaimed, “Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!”