Akpors the headteacher of warri secondary school when addressing his students said
Akpors: why do you (students) eat and throw the rubbish on the compound. Don't you know it will breed insects like.....
Jonas (a student shouted): snake
Akpors: Yes, snake

Please don't be serious about this. it was only a comic movie.

Cos ur problems are bigger than de joke

Young Akpors: Daddy, what should I give my girl friend on her birthday?
Daddy Akpors: Describe your girl friend to me.
Young Akpors: She is 5 ft tall, fair in complexion, has large hips, very beautiful and sexy.
Daddy Akpors: Give her my number.

Little Akpors: Daddy when you are coming back home buy me chocolate.
Akpors: OK spell me chocolate.
Little Akpors: Chocolate, ceeeeee ooooooo....OK buy me P.K.

the same u chop for ur house.

A man went to a restaurant and heard a white scream eeeeei after taking his meals. He wondered  why the white man screamed after his meals and so after the white man left the restaurant, he ordered for the same meal(fried rice and chicken and a bottle of red wine) the white man ordered. After consuming the food he did not scream. He couldn't understand why he didn't scream so he ordered for another plate and after eating he still did not scream. He then concluded that there was nothing to scream about so he called for his bills. The  first plate was 75,000 Naira so as the second totalling 150,000 Naira. He then began screaming eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei........................................................... and even as am typing he is screaming.

Three women were selling at the market. The first selling apples, the second, bread and the third, yam. Upon realizing the market was bad the woman selling apples cried out, "Lord your word says we are the apple of your eye" and in no time all her apples were being sold. The women with the bread also cried out, "Lord your word says you are the bread of life" and few minutes later all her bread were sold out. The third  woman realizing that yam was not mentioned anywhere in the bible cried out, Lord your word says, "I yam that I yam".

The Saints Gospel Church last year decided not to go their usual way of giving their annual harvest. The pastor decided to employ new tactics to motivate his members to give higher harvest. So  before the harvest, he announced to the congregation that the harvest for that particular year was going to be giving according to the beauty of each ones husband or wife. On the day of harvest the congregation really gave out their all ranging from 20,000 naira to 5,000,000 naira to prove that they really admired their spouses. The pastor's tactics would have worked to perfection  if not for the fact that the richest man in the church who usually gave the highest every year, that particular year gave the least amount. This rich man drove in with his car and walked hurriedly from the back to front with a big frown on his face and  dropped 20 kobo in the harvest bowl. The pastor who looked totally amazed, inquired the reasons for the rich man's action. The rich man in an attempt to answer, held the pastor by the hand and dragged him to where his car was parked outside. The richman then openned the rear door of the car and there sat the richmans wife with veil covering her face. The pastor who still didn't get what was really going on, asked the richman again about his actions. the richman in reply removed the veil covering her wife's face  and the pastor who couldn't look at the woman for the second time, rushed into the church screaming and ordering the ushers to give the man a change of 18 kobo. [/b]