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15
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / ACcId3nt At tH3 Fun3rAl |
on: 22-11-2010 08:28 PM
| | A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket
out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They
hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is
held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out
the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out,
"Watch out for that wall!" | | | | |
16
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / tWo OlD WoMEn |
on: 22-11-2010 08:26 PM
| | Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Please don't be angry with me. I know we've been friends for a long
time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just sat and
glared. Finally she
responded, "How soon do you need to know?" | | | | |
17
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Nigerian Restaurant in West London |
on: 22-11-2010 08:09 PM
| | I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture.
So, I tried the same thing in our local Nigerian restaurant.
I squinted my eyes and shouted, "E Kaa ro Oh! Ejo E fun mi ni amala Meta Shaki meji, Ogufe kan!" But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned serving tray from my hand and told me to get out. | | | | |
18
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / WHy In Th3 WoRld Ar3 u CryiNG |
on: 22-11-2010 07:59 PM
| | When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park
bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I have a 22-year-old husband at home. He makes love to me
every morning and
then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly
ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite
brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, "Okay, so why are you crying?"
She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my
favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live!" | | | | |
20
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Mum F**KING Turkey |
on: 21-11-2010 02:44 PM
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One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister's room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend"Your such an arss!" and she hung up.Suzie asked what ass had meant and her sister sayin"Uh... it means... uhh.. boyfriend!". Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word.
Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled "SHIT!" Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered"It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream."
Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie's dad's boss was coming to dinner tonight.
When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled"F*CK!". Suzie asked what phyuk meant and mom replied" it..it..it uummm...it means cut... yeah, cut." Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it.
When Suzie opened the door, her dad's boss was standing there. Boss asked" Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is?" Then Suzie said" Well, my sister's upstairs talking to her arss on the phone, my dad's in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom's in the kitchen f*cking the turkey!"
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