Being in a relationship can be such a pleasurable experience, from the unending phone calls, to sweet text messages, and some soft cuddling, and even sometimes the hand-in-hand walking of two love butterflies makes being in a relationship such a sweet experience.

But just when does a relationship turn into an obsession? Gory stories from obsessed relationships are becoming too rampant nowadays. I once heard the story of a lady setting herself on fire because her boyfriend decided to quit the relationship because he turned 'born-again'. And I recently read d story of a guy slit his girlfriend's throat because she called it quit! Now that's terrible you say? But do you mind checking into your own relationship right now? Are you obsessed or is your partner obsessed with you?

Here are few clues to know:

1. The Family Deal

When you are just at the early stage of your relationship and your partner thinks meeting your parents is a big freaking deal. That's way too fast, and this might eventually lead to an emotional disturbance later. You need to slow down.

2. The Looks

Jealous much? Does your partner's look indicate unnecessary jealousy? Watch for phone patterns too. Are your partner's  voicemails like monologues? Does he/she text you so often you feel like a doctor on call? If your partner is watching your every move, it’s time to back away … very… slowly…

3. You become your partner's project

You swear you can remember somehow getting through life without being remote controlled by your partner… But you aren’t sure how, since apparently you need your partner to tell you how to dress, act, eat and even THINK! It’s like a parasite got in your brain... Say anything, and even pass up your fun time/or time meant to have fun with your friends to go to your partner's 8-year-old niece’s birthday party. Obsessive lovers often manipulate situations to keep their partners to themselves. WAKE UP!

4. Fear and Loathing

If your buddies can’t stand your partner or pay you a visit whenever your partner is around, shame on you for even reading this article when you should be out dumping him/her.

5. Public Displays of Agro

It's ridiculous how some peeps BERATE their partners, screeching at them in public like a shopping banshee. If you are repressing a frequent urge to strangle your girlfriend/boyfriend for humiliating you and making huge scenes – guess what? Curb that puppy.

6. The Police Game

When your partner starts to monitor your phone calls. And also sneaks over to read your chats and text messages. He/she wants to know about all your friends and even monitor your daily schedule. Or even start smelling your clothes and underwear! Obsessive people don’t respect privacy.  They run through your phone contacts and will even call friends and relatives to gather information about you. Buddy, its time to do the 'moonwalk'.

7. The Relentless Promise

When your partner calls you now and then on the phone, asking you to promise them you'll never leave them. When you wake up in the midnight and you find your partner just staring at you, and you ask why and they say "they just love you." Or your partner simply feels inferior without you. Charlie, it's time to run!!!

8. You are the ANSWER

The non-obsessed consider the possibility of a future, while the potential bunny-boiler has already made up their minds that THIS IS IT! The obsessive partner has already determined that this is his/her one and only love who will be his/her partner for life and begins to make plans for the future.

9. No Trust

If your partner can’t get it out of their mind that you are cheating on them and they keep accusing you of having phantom encounters with random people, you might need to have some serious introspection.

10. Forcing the L-word

If your partner makes you say "I Love You" EVERY TIME you talk, especially if it’s a phone call.  Or probably they say it and you decide not to say “I love you too!” And your partner immediately thinks you don’t love them anymore, or that you are with another person. Hey! Hey!! Can you hear me? It's time to walk away.


Hear this! If you recognize yourself in this list, you might need to step back and think about what emotional feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem
that is fueling this behavior.  Otherwise, it will keep happening and you’ll keep wondering why you’re always getting dumped.

But if you agree with me that your partner is obsessed with you, and you don't want to put your life in danger, here's how to back out:

The Extraction Game.

Extracting a mental partner is like defusing a bomb. If you are a jerk, it’s like pouring gas on a fire. Your partner will want you more. Any sign of resistance will draw them closer. But here's the best thing to do? Become undesirable. Add weight! Be displeasing! Start doing things that would make your partner lose interest in you. It’ll be fun.

Never, ever attempt to talk your obsessive partner into 'breaking up' with them, or call a third-party to help dissolve the relationship. You might as well try sky diving!!!

Yours sincerely.

Storm, the storm of life is something we wiil probably face at a point in our lives.

Getting punished for a misdemeanour was often a sour experience. I, a habitual sinner, was often at it again. Childhood offences were not far from me. Neither was I far from committing them. They say that British don't beat their children. I often wished I was British.

Dad; a master of his craft would listen patiently as mum reported my offences. I was always within earshot; trembling at the back of the door. After dinner he grunts and bellows,

Ayo! Bring the cane!

My legs crossed each other as I made for the cane. Often times I prayed the cane broke, but it didn't.

And bring your bible too. He hollered behind my ears.


What does Proverb 13: 24 say?

He who spares the rod hates his son.

The words slurred out of my lips, tumbling out of my mouth with discordant notes.

Whack! Whack!! Whack!!! Whack!!!!

And that was it. Four, hot strokes. It never went past four strokes. I writhed in hateful pains.

But that evening was different.  An acrobatic scissors kick from my jinxed left foot made the inflated pig-skin ricochet against the fence and land in between two louvre blades.

Crank! Crank!!

The smashing sound melted my excitement. I had broken our Landlord's louver blades. My mental copier recopied these words over a thousand times: Why did I play football? I was supposed to be reading my books. My heart thumped heavily under the fear of what dad could do to me.

The irritable Landlord did not let dad drive in. Poor dad, poor tenant; he hurried back to get new louver blades. That evening, I wished the handy-man could exhaust endless hours fixing the blades. But he was done in seconds!

No dinner. Dad's anger was over the top. He dashed in to get the cane. No bible this time. He yanked me out of my room. He descended upon me and flogged me with a reckless abandon.

I cried and begged, but got no mercy. Mum, instead of interceding, fueled dad's anger towards me. With the punishment becoming unbearable for an African child, I chose a way out. A skill I learnt during a school drama performance did it.

Suddenly I flung myself on the ground. The unexpected thud made my father freeze. I threw my limbs aimlessly, catching my breath in short rasps. Suddenly, I became taut. I rolled my pupils inward. I began to salivate over the rug. I smartly watched as the two made a marathon within the four walls of our flat.

Ha! You want to kill my son. Mother exclaimed as she panted.
What are you waiting for, get me some water. Dad fired back.

Hurriedly, they sprinkled water over my face. Calling me and chaffing my limbs. That soothed away my pains. I relaxed and opened my eyes. Dad carried me in his strong arms and laid me on my bed. Mum appeared behind with a cup of milk.

I sipped the drink gently. Dad began to admonish me on becoming an obedient child. And I promised to be. Quietly, the two left and allowed me to rest.

I smiled with a corner of my mouth as the door shut.

http://www.onegist.com/writers-lounge/die-before-you-are-dead-a-short-story/

UP NEPA!!! That actually made us forgot that its been black out for the past 25 days. I  muttered out loud,"let me go switch on the water pump" while putting the laptop charger into the power outlet and actively thinking about coming back to charge my phone. I heard my father talking about the pump. I thought to myself, "he probably overheard me but maybe unconsciously or otherwise".

Now, leaving the room, I saw my elder brother walking fast to his room definitely going to charge his laptop and phone which was dead(I learnt from my younger brother during a conversation that the phone ran out of juice 2hours before I arrived home). On my way out, passing through the living room, I saw my younger brother trying to put on the TV to watch cable TV. He saw me and said "Bro, why don't you let's go play the game you promised to play with me in the night, right after you're done with the pumping". I replied back with no way, I've got thousands of things to do(that's what I say everyday, but when am I ever going to be done with those thousands of things?)

The submersible pumping machine is now at its job. A lot was on my mind  but a thought which overshadowed them for that moment crept in "one good deed had finally made us forgot all our troubles with electricity" The thought of electricity slowing me down was gone for that moment and so was probably with others or whatsoever problem they had with it. We had forgotten that its been more than 3 weeks.

Later that day in the night, I played an hour game with my younger brother after several months of pleads. That made him forgot all the rants about how bad I was as a brother by not playing with him. Well, that didn't last more than a week before he started back his rants.


What am saying is one good deed can actually clear all your bad deeds, if not all, at least tone it down a little. However, one bad deed can also result to the opposite.

http://www.onegist.com/life-and-experiences/one-good-deed-can-erase-thousands-of-bad-deeds/