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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / An Isreali Soldier |
on: 23-06-2010 02:11 PM
| An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A Boy and a Girl |
on: 23-06-2010 01:57 PM
| A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / Can you see God? |
on: 2-03-2010 04:18 PM
| One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so she has no brain" | | |
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Forum / FunnyHub (Jokes + Comedy) / A man complaint about his wife. |
on: 2-03-2010 03:39 PM
| A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through --
So he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then, it was already 01 P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids And got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies And got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board And watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes And washing vegetables for salad, Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 09 P.M .
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, He went to bed where he was expected to make love, Which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, He awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - 'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: 'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.' | | | |