As we all know Facebook is worldwide but Naijapals is 4 d Naijans, but to me Facebook. is more preferrable, it keeps me busy than Naijapals

  WHAT IS IT THAT ALL MEN HAVE, A MAN GIVES IT TO HIS WIFE AFTER MARRIAGE, BUT THE POPE DOSEN'T USE HIS?

It's time police are being eliminated secretly, they've been messing up this is not the first time innocent young boys are killed in my area by policemen! they even enter hotel rooms in the night all in the name of raiding, knocking people's door and arresting them for no good reason. Now they have brought out guns which they have seized long time ago, saying the collected it from the young boys fighting for their right, infact that ajeromi police station should be burnt down! I fink the mother of the deceased needs to fight for justice to bring to book the names of those policemen involved

The senior civil servant went to the doctor and complained of being unable to sleep.

Doctor: ‘Oh! Don’t you sleep at night?’

Civil servant: ‘Yes, I sleep very well at night. And I sleep quite soundly most of the mornings, too – but I find it’s very difficult to sleep in the afternoons as well.’

- Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board.

- Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

- Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool.

- Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

- Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

- Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

- When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.

- Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say “Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.

- Hit strangers with your wet towel.

- Throw people’s things into the pool.

- Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale.

- Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

- Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, “Lord, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the ‘beginning’.”

“Oh, is that so? Tell me…” replies God.

“Well, ” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the
likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”

“Well, that’s interesting. Show Me.”

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

“Oh no, no, no…” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”

 I WENT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND TO A RESTAURANT, WE SAT DOWN NOT LONG A WAITER CAME BY AND I ORDERED FOR FOOD JUST FOR ME ALONE. SO MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK THE WAITER'S LIST AND CHECKED:



 MENU
1: RICE   
2:SEMOVITA
3: EBA
4:CHICKEN PIE   
5:DOUGHNUTS   


 WELL SINCE ALL THESE ARE LOCAL FOOD PLEASE I WILL NEED TOO PLATES OF MENU .

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he’d eaten
downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.

The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over
the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large,
delicious, gigantic steaks.

To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the
smallest steaks they’d ever seen.

“Now see here,” the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter.
“Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak.
Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?”

“Well, sir,” replied the waiter, “yesterday you were sitting by the
window.”

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

 WALKED ROUND ALL THE BARS AROUND TOWN AND FOUN THIS NOTICE ON THE WALL: THE BAR IS CURRENTLY CLOSED BECAUSE IT'"S NOT OPENED"

REALLY PEOPLE I'M JUST BORED OVER RELATIONSHIPS EVERY GIRL I DATED JUST ASK OF MONEY AND MY MAGIC STICK. COME TO THINK OF IT ALL, IF I CONTINUE LIKE THIS WIT ABOUT TWENTY GIRLS WHAT WOULD BECOME OF ME. segxwal RELATIONSHIPS IS NOT WORTH IT O. OLOHUN GBO!

dem must gather 4 d river na,but remember surely they will gather but they will scatter in several ways by the intoxication of the alchol

make una explain am 2 me well  bcos me i no know pizza self, i neva even c am self

If person na virgin at 20 e bad?

  :'( message from Tocaro clinic:we regret to inform you that the redness on the patient's p***s was not cancer, it was lipstick.we deeply regret the pointless amputation!!!

A machine for catching thieves was invented;USA,in 30mins,it caught 500 thieves.GHANA,in 10mins it caught 6000 thieves.NIGERIA,in 5mins,the machine was stolen! up naija.

A man walked into the fourteenth floor of an office and shouted, john! your daughter just died in an accident. Quickly one of the men in the office jumped out through the window.on his way down he remembered he does not have a daughter,he was not even married and his name was not john.