Have you ever been scrolling through you your Instagram explore feed and you see users posting photos of them with celebrities? Or maybe you happen to have a random discussion with colleagues and when the name of a celebrity comes up, they dish details of the celebrity with certainty. No, they don’t have two heads. If you have been wondering how you can ever meet a celebrity in Lagos, I have made a list of 14 jobs that makes it possible.
Read below . . .
1. Night club attendantCelebrities are party goers and night hoppers.
Night clubs are your best bet to find them. You could be a bouncer, the one to serve them drinks, the one to guide their parking in the car park or the one waiting at the door to clean the rest room once they step out. All na hustle my brother.
2. Quilox memberI doubt if there’s any celebrity in Lagos that hasn’t been to Quilox.
Good thing is, Quilox is an open-for-all club.
You might walk in and the person that offers to pay for your drinks might be a celebrity.
You might be dancing and a celebrity would just walk up to you to ask you for a dance.
If you ever run into a celebrity there, feel free to walk up to him or her to demand for their number. They are usually too drunk to turn you down.
3. OAP JOBShebi you watch TV? This one is self explanatory. Don’t you feel jealous when you watch OAPs that grew up in Mushin laughing and gisting with celebs with their British accent during events or shows. The only thing I cannot explain is how to get an accent to become an OAP.
4. Lekki toll gate tag sales person80% of celebrities in Lagos live in Lekki. 60% of celebrities drive out of Lekki every day. 52% are not witches/wizards so they usually have to drive out via the tollgate. Are you doing the maths? Oya go and drop your CV at Lekki toll gate.
5. 3-5 star hotel receptionistYou know celebrities frequent hotels a lot for ‘one or two things’. As the receptionist, you are at the forefront. They’ll be super nice to you and even offer you bribe so you don’t spill.
6. 3-5 star hotel cleanersAs a room service personnel or hotel room cleaner, your chances of starting a conversation with a celebrity are high if they happen to lodge in the hotel you work. Imagine cleaning a room where Davido just spent the night reading the bible and your friend who thought you would never hammer calls your phone at that moment.
“Please call me later, I am busy in Davido’s room”
Your sms will read.
7. Arik Air hostessAs a passenger flying on a local route twice in a year, your chances of having a celebrity as a co-passenger is 6/10. Talk more of the people living in the plane itself? The air hostesses. Ah! Get ready to become a celebrity bestie.
8. Ushers at Lekki eventsAm I the only one that sees Instagram comments or broadcast messages like, “Looking for light skinned busty girls to usher at an undisclosed event on Saturday night for 100K per hour”
100k per hour abi?
Please try to read between the lines.
9. Banana Island traffic wardenImagine being a female traffic warden in Banana Island where the rich resides. Your job has given you the power to stop and command cars to move at your will. Cars of billionaire-celebrities like Peski Ikeji abi?
You can use this time to have conversations with them. Imagine having additional skills like being able to dance as you direct traffic like that female traffic warden in Yaba.
You don hammer be that.
10. STD testers at Lekki Phase 1 hospitalsYou know celebrities love their health so much, reason they always go for constant STD check-ups in hospital. As an STD checker in the lab, you have full access to the celebrity personal details include their kini.
Dreams come true . . .
11. Movie ticket sales girl at Silverbird Cinema (VIP Section)VIP section is where celebrities watch their movie from at the cinema. There’s a separate counter that handles the issuing of tickets. Do you really want to meet celebrities? If your answer is yes, your dream job is behind that counter my sister.
12. Security/Search personnel at MMANotice before you board an airplane, you are thoroughly searched by security personnels at the airport.
Don’t you think people who carry out this job are lucky? You are at liberty to hug and touch a celebrity under the guise of search. You can even touch their kini by mistake.
13. LASTMA /Police officials in LekkiLASTMA officials primary job description is harassment, even when you are not a road offender. Most celebrities are fond of driving like they are auditioning for Fast & Furious. If your job primary responsibility is to maintain sanity on roads in high brow areas like Lekki and Ikoyi, get ready to run into a lot of celebrities i.e if they don’t run into you with their cars.
When you are tired of harassing them, you can even slap them if you are bored.
14. Weed sales representatives
I cannot promise you much. But I know that in the course of your hustle one day, you will meet Burna Boy, Mr Amoshine, Timaya, Vic 0 and etc
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