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1  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Purity in Relationships on: 12-08-2019 07:06 PM

segxwal Purity in Relationships

First of all, remember that if you plant purity today, you will reap a rich harvest, free from shame and guilt. And, by the grace of God, you’ll look back on your life not with regret, but with joyful gratitude. segxwal purity is ALWAYS in your best interest. Be smart, not stupid, and you’ll enjoy the best God has for you!
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid segxwal immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 ).


You don’t have to date just because lots of other people date doesn’t mean you have to. You can enjoy fun, positive friendships with people of the opposite sex and be involved in all sorts of activities without coupling up with one person.
If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity.


1) If you’re a Christian, only date Christians.
You won’t marry every person you date. But the person you marry will be someone you dated. God says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers . . . what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 ).
There are many contexts in which to do evangelism—dating isn’t one of them.


2. Realize where you go and who you go with will influence your segxwal desires.
When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness. When we put ourselves in an ungodly atmosphere with ungodly people we are influenced toward ungodliness. “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (I Corinthians 15:28 ).


3. Realize your date is your brother or sister in Christ—not your “lover.”
“Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:2 ). A rule of thumb is, don’t do anything physically you wouldn’t do with your brother or sister.
If a Christ-centered, positive relationship develops, then you might move to cautious displays of affection such as hand-holding. But be alert to the difference between appropriate affection and intimacy. You must stay safely back from the line where either one is propelled toward segxwal intimacy.


4. Focus on talk, not touch; conversation, not contact.
Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires.


5. Avoid fast moving relationships and instant intimacy.
Pace your relationship. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot. Keep your foot near the brake. Don’t let this relationship get out of control.


6. Be accountable to someone about your physical relationship.
This should be a committed brother or sister in Christ, usually the same gender as you. It should be someone who takes segxwal purity seriously, someone with wise advice, who will pray for you and help hold you accountable to high standards.


7. Pray together at the beginning and end of each date.
Commit the evening or day in advance to the Lord. Ask Him to be pleased in everything you do. Plan to pray at the end of the date to thank Him for it. Knowing this prayer is coming will help you to be sure to control yourself and please God.

8. When you sense the temptation coming, before things start to get out of control, RUN.
“Flee from segxwal immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18 ). When it comes to segxwal temptation, it always pays to be a coward.


9. Write out your own standards and enforce them yourself—never depend on your date.
You as an individual are fully responsible and accountable to God for what you do (Romans 14:10-12 ; 2 Corinthians 5:10 ).


10. Memorize Scripture on segxwal purity and quote it when tempted.
“I have hidden your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11 ). When the attacks come—and they will—be ready to take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17 ).
Even if you are no longer a virgin you can and should commit yourself to secondary virginity—to remain segxwally pure from this day forward. You need more than good intentions to maintain your purity: you need a plan which includes avoidance and accountability. If you are committed to a relationship with a growing Christian, formulate a plan to prevent falling back into premarital intimacy.


11. Be radical—do whatever it takes to guard your segxwal purity.
In Matthew 5:29-30 , Jesus tells His listeners to do whatever is necessary to deal with temptation. Get creative, get radical, and do all you can to avoid temptation.


12. Count the cost of impurity.
Rehearse in advance the devastating consequences of segxwal sin and you’ll be less likely to commit it. Even a forgiven person must deal with many consequences to his sin. God removes guilt, but He doesn’t always remove consequences.
God forgives when we sincerely repent, but if we sincerely repent we will show it by taking necessary steps to avoid temptation.
@Randy Alcorn
2  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Married to Mr Right on: 7-08-2019 02:10 PM

A captivating story

MARRIED TO MR RIGHT(MMR)
Episode 1

"There all done" The makeup artist Brian had told to make me up said to me. I felt the tears coming out from the corner of my eyes.
"don't you want to see how it looks?" she asked again but this time placing the mirror in front of me. I took it from her and threw it on the floor making it smash into a million pieces.
My life is being ruined and I can't seem to do anything about it. I can't believe I'm getting married to this arrogant bastard.


There was a time in my life when I wanted to get married to a, man who would love me for me, a man who would respect me, who would cherish every moment I had with him, who would be ready to love me till death do us part but now it's just the complete opposite.
Marriage was supposed to be a sacred relationship between two people. it is a second important relationship in a, woman's life. how would I be able to survive in this life commitment when there is no love.
I never wanted this for myself, I never wished for any of this. please is everything happening right now a dream?
My eyes were all damp. Lily who I assumed was her name kept on telling me to stop crying so as to not ruin my face but I didn't pay any attention to her.
she doesn't know what I'm going through, she doesn't know what I'm feeling now.
my whole life is ruined. all my dreams wasted and no one knows how much I'm hurting. my friends think I'm one lucky girl to get married to a man as rich as Brian but they don't know the plans he has for me under his sleeves.
"it's time to get dressed" She said to me. I reluctantly stood up.
She brought the gown and got me all dressed up.
I looked into the mirror staring at myself as they applied the finishing touches to my dress.
Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but sadly it's not.


She placed the bouquet of flowers in my hand and wore me my jewelry and shoes.
Then I was accompanied to the limousine that was supposed to take me to the venue for the wedding celebration.
We arrived at the garden which was fully decorated and after.
Soon enough, the orchestra began to play the wedding March. the guests stood up and I walked down the aisle in the company of my mom who offered to give me away.
Brian stood at the alter looking back down the Aisle at me. he was giving a mischievous smile. one would think that he was happy with everything going on not knowing that he's not at all getting married for love but revenge.
I looked round the garden and at the crowd.
on the left side were his family and some of his trusted friends.
on the other side were some of the guests and my friends.
As I got close to him, I noticed how grumpy his face had become.


when I reached him, he took my hand and we faced the priest who was to officiate the ceremony.
The wedding kicked off, thereafter, vows were said and we exchanged rings.
About an hour later, we were presented as man and wife.
"you may kiss the bride" the priest said and he turned to face me. he lifted my veil and threw it over my head, then lowered his head to kiss my lips. he pulled his lips inside his mouth and placed them on my lips.


He really didn't kiss me but made it seem as if he did.
he whispered close to my lips "this is just the beginning. I hope you're ready for everything that comes after this"
He smiled at me and turned to look at the crowd who were busy cheering.
"he's going to kill me. this is a nightmare" I thought to myself.
Refreshment were served and after that I went to a place that was supposed to be my husband's home.
Immediately we got in, he closed the door and and forcefully threw me on the couch.


Then he pulled my hair bringing my face to his.
"Well Ciara. congratulations today you became my wife."
I had already started to cry.
"please let me go. you're hurting me" I begged
"that's the point, I'm here to hurt you. I'm here to destroy you and every precious little dream you had for yourself. I'll make sure you pay" he said, eyes burning with fury.
"Please let me go"
"you know what, when we're outside we're a couple but inside, you have no form of relationship with me. you are only here to attend to my needs and that's all got it" he said and pulled me up then threw me on the bed.


He opened the door and walked outside. I have never felt this pain in my life, I sat down in a fetal position and sobbed.
I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.
I quickly took off my gown and scuttled to the bathroom to have my shower.
After bathing, I wore my nightie and sat down on the bed.


I couldn't eat and besides food was the last thing on my mind right now.
I'm broken
I tried calling my parents but he forbade me from doing so.
"you have to suffer alone" he keeps on telling me
so I just got to bed and cried my eyes out.
will I survive marriage with Brian. I think I just signed a death wish for myself.
And before I knew it, I fell asleep.


To be continued
Written by Jackie

Follow this link to read the next episode
http://www.christluvu.com.ng/2019/08/married-to-mr-right-episode-2.html

The updates of the episodes would be daily.
3  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Perfect Love on: 7-08-2019 01:06 PM
Quote from: lilyqueen on  6-08-2019 10:01 PM
This is an interesting Christian romance story with a wonderful moral lesson.


PERFECT LOVE
Copyright © Ufuomaee


THE PROLOGUE

" Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned " (Songs 8:7 ).
My earliest memory of romantic love was from the movie "Endless Love".


 That was the definitive romantic story for me. Not even "Romeo and Juliet" came close. It would be many years before I learnt that it was actually considered a "blue film", and not at all appropriate for impressionable children.
However, besides the lust and sex that seemed to define the movie, it was the heated emotions that burned between the lovers, despite the opposition from their families, that stayed with me. I wanted that kind of reckless love; a mad love, ungoverned by reason and driven entirely by passion. Even when I became a Believer, I always held out hope to have such a fiery romance. And not just romance, marriage.


But many years later, real life changed all that and I was about to marry someone for whom my heart didn't burn. I'd given up on love, as I knew it. Because my heart had been broken, and they said love is not about emotion, but an act of the will... But when the one for whom my heart once burned returned into my life, I realised that, truly, " the heart wants what it wants... "
Alas, ours was not the "forever love" kind. I was his toy, and he was my everything. And when he was done, so was I. And I didn't dare to dream that I'd ever find the kind of mutual, passionate and enduring love I desired. I took comfort in God, and was happy just to have Jesus, and to be content in Him. Or so I thought.


Mine was a wandering heart. A restless heart. A troubled heart.
It got to a point that I had crushes on almost every single man around me. I just wanted love. Marriage. The perfect romance.


And then I met Temi.
He was not the usual guy that I got hot for, but he was attractive and Christian. We were similar in some ways. We were two idealistic people with dreams, who were committed to or lazily following our passions, depending on how you looked at it.


As a Computer Engineer, he was very bright, and also ambitious. He dreamt of and talked about how he'd be the next Bill Gates by creating some revolutionary software. I liked that he had dreams and a drive. Though he was out of a job at the time. He had potential and lots of confidence.
I was working in a job to fulfil all righteousness. I didn't want to be dependent on my affluent parents to take care of me and chose a job I was sure I would do well in, while I chased my passion of becoming a writer.


As a Bank Marketer, I wasn't using my degree in Accounting, a course I'd taken to appease my father, who was the greatest Accountant Lagos had ever known in his time. He now chairs a number of financial institutions, including the one I was marketing for.
So, one day, I met Temi when I was on a marketing run to a Telecomms company. He had just completed an interview for a job there, and we left the building together. As we rode the elevator, I was reading a book on my Kindle device.


"Good book?" he asked.
"Hmmm hmm…" I muttered in response.
"What's it about?"
I sighed and looked up briefly from my reading. He was tall and dark skinned. Not my flavour. So, I gave him a curt response. "Christianity and Evangelism."


"Interesting. It's rare to see beautiful women reading. And about Christianity too," he mused. And I thought it was funny that I was irritated about being disturbed while reading a book about evangelism, instead of seeing that as an opportunity to witness to him. Just as the elevator doors opened, he asked, "Do you mind if I ask what you do?"
It was obvious that he wanted to talk, and well, it was time I actually put to practice what I was learning about seizing opportunities to proclaim Christ. So, after he asked his third question, I decided to put the device away and engage him in conversation.
"I'm a marketer by day and a columnist by night," I said, with a grin.


"Hmmm… A go-getter and an influencer. You sound like someone I'd love to know," he drawled and I giggled despite myself. And when he smiled, I thought he looked like a movie star. And so, when he asked for my number, I didn't hesitate.


Still, I played hard to get, though not for too long. I liked that even though he didn't have much financially, and he knew my background, he was not deterred from coming after me. He showered me with attention, listened to me and read my writings, and believed in my dream to write stories that would change the world. He promised me his love and care. He said he wanted to give me the world and I believed him.


I followed him to Church and it was there that I began to fall for him. I saw him in his element, a passionate follower of Jesus Christ who, though poor, claimed the riches of Christ. And I didn't dare to judge him by his present circumstance. I saw a man of promise, and most of all, a man who saw promise in me.


And even though I never did fall with complete abandon, I said "Yes" to him the day he asked for my hand in marriage, in the presence of our friends and family, after only three months of dating. Because "love is an act of the will... " Or so they said.


to be continued...

If you find this story interesting and would like to continue reading it visit http://www.christluvu.com.ng for updates

This is the link to chapter 1


https://www.christluvu.com.ng/2019/08/perfect-love-chapter-1.html?m=0
4  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Perfect Love on: 6-08-2019 10:01 PM
This is an interesting Christian romance story with a wonderful moral lesson.


PERFECT LOVE
Copyright © Ufuomaee


THE PROLOGUE

" Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned " (Songs 8:7 ).
My earliest memory of romantic love was from the movie "Endless Love".


 That was the definitive romantic story for me. Not even "Romeo and Juliet" came close. It would be many years before I learnt that it was actually considered a "blue film", and not at all appropriate for impressionable children.
However, besides the lust and sex that seemed to define the movie, it was the heated emotions that burned between the lovers, despite the opposition from their families, that stayed with me. I wanted that kind of reckless love; a mad love, ungoverned by reason and driven entirely by passion. Even when I became a Believer, I always held out hope to have such a fiery romance. And not just romance, marriage.


But many years later, real life changed all that and I was about to marry someone for whom my heart didn't burn. I'd given up on love, as I knew it. Because my heart had been broken, and they said love is not about emotion, but an act of the will... But when the one for whom my heart once burned returned into my life, I realised that, truly, " the heart wants what it wants... "
Alas, ours was not the "forever love" kind. I was his toy, and he was my everything. And when he was done, so was I. And I didn't dare to dream that I'd ever find the kind of mutual, passionate and enduring love I desired. I took comfort in God, and was happy just to have Jesus, and to be content in Him. Or so I thought.


Mine was a wandering heart. A restless heart. A troubled heart.
It got to a point that I had crushes on almost every single man around me. I just wanted love. Marriage. The perfect romance.


And then I met Temi.
He was not the usual guy that I got hot for, but he was attractive and Christian. We were similar in some ways. We were two idealistic people with dreams, who were committed to or lazily following our passions, depending on how you looked at it.


As a Computer Engineer, he was very bright, and also ambitious. He dreamt of and talked about how he'd be the next Bill Gates by creating some revolutionary software. I liked that he had dreams and a drive. Though he was out of a job at the time. He had potential and lots of confidence.
I was working in a job to fulfil all righteousness. I didn't want to be dependent on my affluent parents to take care of me and chose a job I was sure I would do well in, while I chased my passion of becoming a writer.


As a Bank Marketer, I wasn't using my degree in Accounting, a course I'd taken to appease my father, who was the greatest Accountant Lagos had ever known in his time. He now chairs a number of financial institutions, including the one I was marketing for.
So, one day, I met Temi when I was on a marketing run to a Telecomms company. He had just completed an interview for a job there, and we left the building together. As we rode the elevator, I was reading a book on my Kindle device.


"Good book?" he asked.
"Hmmm hmm…" I muttered in response.
"What's it about?"
I sighed and looked up briefly from my reading. He was tall and dark skinned. Not my flavour. So, I gave him a curt response. "Christianity and Evangelism."


"Interesting. It's rare to see beautiful women reading. And about Christianity too," he mused. And I thought it was funny that I was irritated about being disturbed while reading a book about evangelism, instead of seeing that as an opportunity to witness to him. Just as the elevator doors opened, he asked, "Do you mind if I ask what you do?"
It was obvious that he wanted to talk, and well, it was time I actually put to practice what I was learning about seizing opportunities to proclaim Christ. So, after he asked his third question, I decided to put the device away and engage him in conversation.
"I'm a marketer by day and a columnist by night," I said, with a grin.


"Hmmm… A go-getter and an influencer. You sound like someone I'd love to know," he drawled and I giggled despite myself. And when he smiled, I thought he looked like a movie star. And so, when he asked for my number, I didn't hesitate.


Still, I played hard to get, though not for too long. I liked that even though he didn't have much financially, and he knew my background, he was not deterred from coming after me. He showered me with attention, listened to me and read my writings, and believed in my dream to write stories that would change the world. He promised me his love and care. He said he wanted to give me the world and I believed him.


I followed him to Church and it was there that I began to fall for him. I saw him in his element, a passionate follower of Jesus Christ who, though poor, claimed the riches of Christ. And I didn't dare to judge him by his present circumstance. I saw a man of promise, and most of all, a man who saw promise in me.


And even though I never did fall with complete abandon, I said "Yes" to him the day he asked for my hand in marriage, in the presence of our friends and family, after only three months of dating. Because "love is an act of the will... " Or so they said.


to be continued...

If you find this story interesting and would like to continue reading it visit http://www.christluvu.com.ng for updates
5  Forum / Relationships & Romance / Re: Heartbroken Man Writes An Emotional Note To His Late Fiancee on: 31-07-2019 08:22 PM
so touching
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