[color=purple]Yesterday I ended it with my fiance because he cheated on me ( more than once with the same girl).

I have to tell all of my family that the wedding is off as we already had everything planned. Today my aunt came over to talk to me and I had to explain to her everything that happened.

She said that men do things all the time, and that we can't always turn our backs on them. I explained to her the extent of his relationship with this girl. He chases her for a long time and their "relationship" or whatever you want to call it went on for 3 or 4 months (where they fooled around and slept togther).

She said that I  should have just told the girl off, told my friends off and stood by my "man'. I thougt I had made the right decision yesterday, but now I'm left wondering, is my aunt right?

She said that people in relationships do messed up things to each other ALL the time. I just don't see why I have to put up with it? I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than with someone who is lying to me. Is ignorance really bliss? Would things have been better off my friends hadn't said anything to me?

Do you think my aunt is right? She mentioned a girl that I grew up with who married her high school sweetheart. He cheated on her the whole time they were together and then he got her pregnant after 10 years of cheating on her, and then they finally got married. I mean, they SEEM really happy, but who really knows what's really going on?

Do you think my aunt is right? that I shouldn't have ended it? that I should have stood by him, forgiven him and worked on it? I really don't think that he loves me and I think that I made the right choice, but I just want to know what other women out there think about this.

It [/color] seemed she was more concerned that I was never going to get married than she was about my happiness because she said "If you don't give guys a chance you're never going to get married".

Please pals, what do you think about this?

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Posted: at 26-07-2010 08:55 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

me i dont knw wat to say right now.. am tinking

Posted: at 26-07-2010 08:59 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Okey, I'm waiting

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:06 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

First, are you really sure that he is cheating on you?
If yes,then you should have confronted him before taking any decision!
Unfortunately, a cheater will always be a cheater, so going on with such a guy,expecting him to change after you get married
it's to deceive yourself!
I agree with you on that u don't think that he loves u,because a man who really loves a woman, and is also about to marry her,
will not cheat on her,no matter the temptations!
Unfortunately,only few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder, but they exist !
So depends on u,if u can stand it or not(a life with a cheater)!

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:10 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

[you knew all this all along you could have avoided it getting worse]

I explained to her the extent of his relationship with this girl. He chases her for a long time and their "relationship" or whatever you want to call it went on for 3 or 4 months (where they fooled around and slept togther).


you knew all this all along you could have avoided it getting worse...AS FOR ME I WON'T SAY YOUR AUNT WAS RIGHT OR NOT.BUT IT IS THOSE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO YOU THAT COULD KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.ALL WHAT SHE SAID MIGHT JUST BE RIGHT.LONG AND SHORT OF IT ALL,  I ADVICE YOU GO FOR COUNSELLING

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:14 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:15 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

[you knew all this all along you could have avoided it getting worse]

I explained to her the extent of his relationship with this girl. He chases her for a long time and their "relationship" or whatever you want to call it went on for 3 or 4 months (where they fooled around and slept togther).


you knew all this all along you could have avoided it getting worse...AS FOR ME I WON'T SAY YOUR AUNT WAS RIGHT OR NOT.BUT IT IS THOSE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO YOU THAT COULD KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.ALL WHAT SHE SAID MIGHT JUST BE RIGHT.LONG AND SHORT OF IT ALL,  I ADVICE YOU GO FOR COUNSELLING

My dear, you Don't  have to blame me. I thought I could change him

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:17 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

If so,my dear,if I were you I would have ended the relationship immediately!
In fact, I would had ended it from the first time I had found out that he's cheating on me,
because cheating is really something I can't overlook!
If I'm in a relationship with a guy,I can't even think about cheating on him,not even in my mind,he can be sure
about that 100%,so I expect the same!

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:20 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

If so,my dear,if I were you I would have ended the relationship immediately!
In fact, I would had ended it from the first time I had found out that he's cheating on me,
because cheating is really something I can't overlook!
If I'm in a relationship with a guy,I can't even think about cheating on him,not even in my mind,he can be sure
about that 100%,so I expect the same!

Thanks dear. If I had listen to my friends, all this wouldn't have been happening to me

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:24 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

boma... since you quit the relationship, has he calle u on phone, or came to ur house to look for u?

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:26 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

So what are you still doing with him? Just dust up your ass and bounce along because that dude will never change.
You know this adage that says: ‘’Take a pig to the ocean for a bath the pig will still go back to dirt’’.

   

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:29 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

boma... since you quit the relationship, has he calle u on phone, or came to ur house to look for u?

Yes o. That is what he does each time he misbehaves.

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:33 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

So what are you still doing with him? Just dust up your ass and bounce along because that dude will never change.
You know this adage that says: ‘’Take a pig to the ocean for a bath the pig will still go back to dirt’’.

   

Thanks dearie for ya advice

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:36 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

So what are you still doing with him? Just dust up your ass and bounce along because that dude will never change.
You know this adage that says: ‘’Take a pig to the ocean for a bath the pig will still go back to dirt’’.

   

Thanks dearie for ya advice

Welcome!

Posted: at 26-07-2010 09:40 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

If so,my dear,if I were you I would have ended the relationship immediately!
In fact, I would had ended it from the first time I had found out that he's cheating on me,
because cheating is really something I can't overlook!
If I'm in a relationship with a guy,I can't even think about cheating on him,not even in my mind,he can be sure
about that 100%,so I expect the same!

Thanks dear. If I had listen to my friends, all this wouldn't have been happening to me

You're welcome, my dear!
I'm sorry that you're going through this!
May God be with you!

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:41 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

If so,my dear,if I were you I would have ended the relationship immediately!
In fact, I would had ended it from the first time I had found out that he's cheating on me,
because cheating is really something I can't overlook!
If I'm in a relationship with a guy,I can't even think about cheating on him,not even in my mind,he can be sure
about that 100%,so I expect the same!

Thanks dear. If I had listen to my friends, all this wouldn't have been happening to me

You're welcome, my dear!
I'm sorry that you're going through this!
May God be with you!

Amen!!

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:47 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

if m in ya situation...i will not marrie him if he start this caracter before marriege...what up later on...no trust respect...and i ques even love...

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:49 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

@ Bittersweet, I've confronted  him severally,  he seem not to change

If so,my dear,if I were you I would have ended the relationship immediately!
In fact, I would had ended it from the first time I had found out that he's cheating on me,
because cheating is really something I can't overlook!
If I'm in a relationship with a guy,I can't even think about cheating on him,not even in my mind,he can be sure
about that 100%,so I expect the same!

Thanks dear. If I had listen to my friends, all this wouldn't have been happening to me

You're welcome, my dear!
I'm sorry that you're going through this!
May God be with you!

Amen

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:49 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

if m in ya situation...i will not marrie him if he start this caracter before marriege...what up later on...no trust respect...and i ques even love...

Good

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:52 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

merci robo cop:-P

Posted: at 26-07-2010 10:53 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

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