The best thing for her to do is stand by the husband. If he has any dignity left in him he would correct himself based on her show of trust in him and then will not repeat such a thing next time if he indeed is guilty. Friendship and marriage are on different hierarchical placements.

KAI !! WALAHI MY BROTHER, YOU GO SCHOOL WELL WELL, YOUR SENTENCES NA CORRECT, AND YOUR BRAIN TOO NA PANA SHARP... I LOVE THIS COMMENT...

Posted: at 8-01-2011 09:11 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming

THOUGHT SHE SHOULD KNOW WHAT HER FRIEND CAN DO .............THE BEST THING WOULD BE TO LOOK INTO THEIR EYES AND ASK THEM MILDLY AGAIN ......IF THEY STILL HOLD THEIR PLACES THEN SHE SHOULD FORGET ABOUT IT .......REMAIN CLOSE TO YOUR FRIEND BUT KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE HUSBAND ..........IF THE FRIEND IS RIGHT THE TRUTH WILL SURELY COME OUT SOMEDAY.

Posted: at 9-01-2011 03:07 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

[i love d exchanges in dis dialogue.love d two sides of debate which reflects d two different worlds/society u guyz r living or residing in.@ BS, i'm nt taking anything away 4rm ur believe concerning cheating. bt if u were bread nd buttered in naija society, apart 4rm d issue of forgiving nd giving second chance, u'll understand dat breaking up marriage here has it's societal consequent. In d western world it's much easier cos of d life style, datz why u can afford nt to b 4giving nd end d marriage in a flash. in as much as one understands d gravity of d man's foolishness, d woman needs wisdom to deal wit it not taking a rash nd hurried decision.]

Husband o "Binta," Husband... Not boyfriend. Did U grow up in Nigeria?

I'm not a Nigerian, Onchedu!
But I could never forgive a cheater!
If I'm not able to cheat, never ever,I expect the same! But if it happens, in the same moment, our paths will separate
,without any chance of turning back!

No wonder! U should have said so since. That's the other gilr I was talking about, the one that doesn't sound like U is actually U. U should have said so since na.

The one that doesn't sound like me is actually me?
Get me out of fog,plz!

Well, there's two of U (one of U actually but with two "personalities"). The first one makes perfect sense in everything and is logical and rational and quite intuitive. She gives sound advice. the second is just the perfect opposite. She's highly emotional, intolerant and unforgiven and seems to think herself a perfect person who can never make a mistake. The first one is a confirmed Naija babe wey her head straight well well. the second one probably grew up in Europe or the Uk. Now put these two girls together and U have "what I believe" is U. the first being the theoretical U and the second being the practical U.

It's like one is ideal and the second real and the real is one that comes up when U take things personally. the ideal is the one that's clear to see when U remain unemotional and that's when u do not personally identify with the issue on ground.

Could be totally wrong too and I'm positive U myt say that but I hope the fog is clear?

Yes,I got you!
Actually, I got you from the day u said that, but I wanted to sure!
Well, u're judging things from what u see here,which, of course that it can't reveal the real me from the day
by day life!
Yes,it's true that if I take a thing personality, I become a real fire which can burn everything around! So, therefore,
ppl know that they shouldn't eve  mess with me,not even in joke!But it happens rare,and when it does, it passes quickly
and I remain the first person u've describe there!
You said I think I never make mistakes! You're wrong, I never think that way, and as any other human being,
I can screw it up from time to time!But that wasn't my point,I know myself, I know what I can do,and I'm always
for justice! I could never ever cheat, no matter how big the temptation would be! I just only expect the same!
I always made clear, even from beginning, what I can never forgive, and if that still happens, the breakup will be
imminent, and without any chance of returning!

Ur so sure U could never cheat Binta. That's why I assumed and stated that U feel u can never be wrong. See that cheating thing ehn, sometimes we get so sure we won't be the one doing it and we keep waiting for the other person to do it and when that doesnt happen, we wake up to find out we have become guilty of it. it takes will and grace to not cheat o especially in a relationship like marriage when things aren't as rosy inside and at that same time, some temptation outside is looking like rosy paradise.

it's people that feel they can't be wrong ever that find it hardest to forgive and it's those same people that find it even harder to forgive themselves if they ever fall short.

I wish U well sha but seriously it'l be sad if U being as smart as U are have no room of forgiveness in things U so much believe U would never do. Even if U have grace to stand not everyone has grace the measure of Urs.

First, I think I would give u my real name,only to not hear that "binta" again!
Second, I'm so sure that I couldn't cheat, because I know myself, and that's why I can't forgive cheating!
But is the only thing I can't forgive! The rest, is up to debate,and with good reasoning, I can pass over!
But cheating.....impossible!
But thx God that there are still guys who think like me,u know? 

i love d exchanges in dis dialogue.
love d two sides of debate which reflects d two different worlds/society u guyz r living or residing in.
@ BS, i'm nt taking anything away 4rm ur believe concerning cheating. bt if u were bread nd buttered in naija society, apart 4rm d issue of forgiving nd giving second chance, u'll understand dat breaking up marriage here has it's societal consequent. In d western world it's much easier cos of d life style, datz why u can afford nt to b 4giving nd end d marriage in a flash. in as much as one understands d gravity of d man's foolishness, d woman needs wisdom to deal wit it not taking a rash nd hurried decision.

Hmmmm!
Mazi!Mazi!
I'm aware of those differences, and that's another reason why I believe that everything happens for a reason,
and God knew why He put me here!
Don't think that in case of cheating I would rush to my lawyer immediately, asking him to do the papers,but
no matter the reasons he would come up with, there is nothing which could justify the act itself,
and I couldn't live with such a guy anymore!
It's just something I could never ever overlook!
Marriage is something very serious! Who doesn't know what that involves, they should just not do it!
It's a holy institution, which should be respected!
Stay blessed!

Posted: at 9-01-2011 09:17 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

hmnmn...........reading

Posted: at 10-01-2011 04:53 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

she shouldnt have opened the pandora's box,she should have stopped going to
her friend's house when she was being approached,seeing that she is the guy's temptation,
this way she would save her friendhip
wth her best=friendand her friend's marriage.If her friend ask her why dont u come to our house anymore,she could say
she's been busy or she could make up for not going to her house by talking to her friend over the phone or meet her at her work or
somewhere apart frm her friend's house or go to her friend's house when she knows her friend's husband will
be at work.And she should be spending time wth her husband or fiancee if she has one,instead of going to her
friend's matrimonial home.Case in point she shouldnt have said anything to her friend,
she should have used discretion to handle it,sometimes we think what we are doing or saying is right
but it aint,you gat to examine your intentions,the pros and cons before we act or speak,but that comes wth discretion.

Posted: at 18-01-2011 12:14 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

reading fights

Posted: at 18-01-2011 03:11 AM (13 years ago) | Hero

The should forget about who to blame and move on with her marriage unless she want loose the man.

 

Posted: at 20-01-2011 01:16 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Believe who u wanna belive,you no dey hear word?

Posted: at 20-01-2011 01:20 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

u said, childhood friends. Common man, she jst gotta belive her friend. The Devil u know is better than the angel u dont kow, remmember? Cuz u can predict that devil's moves but, u cant predict the angel's.

Posted: at 28-02-2011 11:49 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS IN YOUR POST...................HOWEVER WE WEREN'T BRIEFED A LITTLE OF THE FRIENDS BEHAVIORAL TENDENCIES.

Posted: at 7-03-2011 05:27 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming

i believe life is ful of funny

Posted: at 11-03-2011 03:08 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

Hisss!
If she's her friend since so many years already, I guess she should know what she can do!
And her guy,knowing him for only 2 years...,too little time!

Posted: at 15-04-2011 08:48 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming

The secret and duration of every marriage lies in the hands of the wife. Unless you catch him red-handed, do not listen to gossip. You should have trusted him before marrying him. The only betrayal of the trust is what your eyes have shown you and not what your ears heard.

Posted: at 25-04-2011 09:26 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

don't believe any of them.be skeptical in this case,cos both of them can''t be trusted,of course hubby ll lie cos he know u ll believe him.ur best frnd too might be denying.but i think u shoulld believe ur frnd.y didnt ur hubby tell u wen it all started,like i dont want to see this ur frnd in my house,he shld act violent known the impending danger,that ll  come upon his marriage.

Posted: at 25-04-2011 10:14 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming

she needs to lie low for now and investigate if her hubby is cheating with other women.

Posted: at 25-04-2011 11:27 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

She have known her best friend since childhood, she should have trust her with what she says to her and she should opened her two naked eyes now that she knowns what kind of husband she got until she cut him by herself.

Posted: at 27-04-2011 03:03 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

what the eyes does not see, the heart does not grieve about

Posted: at 27-04-2011 04:53 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie

i dont who to believe i beleve in my self

Posted: at 27-04-2011 05:07 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

satisfactorily,the best friend should excuse her friend n  her husband for sometime.After wards
,the truth would be obvious

Posted: at 26-05-2011 03:18 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

She have known her best friend since childhood, she should have trust her with what she says to her and she should opened her two naked eyes now that she knowns what kind of husband she got until she cut him by herself.

 

Posted: at 15-06-2011 12:37 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac

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