"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your
captain (Sunky Onoja) welcoming you on board of Nigeria
Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in
taking off, it was due to bad weather and some
overtime I had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 126 to Lagos.
Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up
somewhere in the South.
If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on
your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record.
In fact our safety standards are so high that even
terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this
year over 50% of our passengers have reached their
destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and
memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin
biscuits!
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only
airline who can help you find out if there really is
a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie
will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the
television.
But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next
to Air Barka, where their movie will be visible from
the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any
smoke you see in the cabin is only the early morning warning
system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly
as close as possible for the best view. If, however,
we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right
through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take-off and fasten your set-belt.
For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ... and
for those of you who can't find a seat, do not
hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will
explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Have a pleasant flight!!
| Posted: at | |
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