10 tough truths about dating today’s Christian

Date: 16-08-2013 1:29 am (10 years ago) | Author: suny dave
- at 16-08-2013 01:29 AM (10 years ago)
(m)
Dear unmarried guys,
I hate to break it to you, but
Christian women are not as
innocent as they may seem.
Perhaps instead of saying “they”, I
should say “we,” but oh, well.
Semantics. I thought about you
today, guys, and decided that it
would be a good idea to tell you the truth because a
truth that you do not know cannot set you free. Plus, I
needed to jolt you all into the realization that you
need to pray and be watchful. King Solomon warned
about the Strange Woman several times in Proverbs
2, 6, 7, and elsewhere. Before I go on, I’d like to
underscore the fact that this is generalization, and
every woman is unique and different. Still, I just
thought I’d share:
1) If you’re dating a woman who is 25 and over
and you haven’t proposed, chances are she has
a plan B. It might be hard to take in, but women
these days have woken up to the fact that godly men
are few and far between. She knows two things. A,
she’s a beautiful, godly woman, and she is therefore
wife material. B, men know what they want, and will
do what it takes to get it. Sooner or later, she’ll pick
up on the fact that you’re wasting her time, and
she’ll make the appropriate arrangements to move
on. So if you’re being a joker, style up; if that
ultimatum comes up, take it seriously. In the back of
her mind, she has already calculated the amount of
time it takes to befriend, be courted by, get proposed
to, be engaged to, and become married to a man.
She knows that if you break up, she does not have
another 5 years to get to know other people, because
her clock is ticking. So if you have been dating her for
over a certain number of years, chances are she is
slowly putting her ducks in a row and casually
getting to know other brothers just in case this hits
the fan. This is not wrong at all. She’s not cheating.
She’s just looking out for herself. No rings, no ropes.

2) Size matters, and so does other superficial stuff.
This is another hard truth to take in, but there you
have it. The size of your bank account, the size of
your faith, the size of the diamond in the
engagement ring, and the sizes of other things are
topics that come up in discussions among Christian
women. They will fast, pray, or try to find ways to
ascertain that you are appropriately-sized in the
appropriate places. Your looks will be discussed, as
will your grooming and manners. For some women,
these are deal breakers. For some, they’re not. The
wrong size does not always mean she’ll walk away.
To be safe, take care of yourself. There are some
things you can’t change, but there’s no reason for
you to walk around all raggedy, for instance,
especially since you know very well you wouldn’t
touch a raggedy woman with a ten-foot pole. You
might not be able to afford the best, but do the best
you can; don’t be cheap. Christ is the standard, and
he gave His life.

3) There are still virgins out there. In 2012,
there are women of all ages, in the 20s, 30s, maybe
40s, who have decided to save themselves for
marriage. I know several. You cannot tell it from their
faces and they may not necessarily broadcast it, even
though lately broadcasting virginity has become
fashionable (and profitable). But, here’s the caveat:

4) Virginity has become relative. In 2012, the
word “virgin” pretty much means any woman whose
honeypot has not been penetrated by a penis. So if
you’re looking to marry a virgin, be sure your
definitions are in agreement. To some people, it’s
possible partake of or participate in EVERYTHING but
penile penetration and still be a virgin. Isn’t it funny
that if a person in a relationship or marriage partakes
of all these things, it’s cheating, regardless of
whether penetration took place or not?

5) She likely does not want to marry a virgin in
the technical sense of the word. In fact, when I was
considering reviewing Christian books, I came across
a candid book, Preparing for Marriage the Right Way,
by a lady named Ebonie Hardman, that was my first
encounter with such a blatant admission of this fact. I
had heard it said in hushed tones, but here she was,
putting it in a book for all to see. Her prayer (which I
think was answered, by the way) went as follows, “I
ask… that my husband has experience in the
bedroom… and can teach and guide me… I would
love to experience that joy in marriage with a saved
man that has experience with women in [his] ‘Before
Christ’ days.” This is not uncommon at all. It is
something many women pray about. Whether it’s a
good or bad thing, I don’t know. I’m not saying you
should sleep around to develop your skills. If Eve had
babies, Adam learnt his skills, somehow – and we
know there were no women before Eve. I’m just
saying it happens.

6) You might find her online. Online dating does
not carry the stigma it once did. I say to any man out
there who is busy whining about being single, go
online. I doubt that God is going to bring your woman
sailing down from the sky on a silver platter. Your
choices, and your actions, have a role in the matter,
and God is pleased to guide you and bless your
direction. There are many Christian women who have
given up on finding a good man in their circles, and
so they have opted to choose the internet. If you’re
too shy to use a dating site such as Christian Café or
Christian Mingle, Facebook is a goldmine for any
single man. People are a little freer on FB because
they do not necessarily feel that they are being
sought out as potential spouses. Use your discretion,
of course.

7) She wants the full package. The 2012
Christian woman is successful, and if she’s not, then
she likely wants to be and is working towards it.
She’s not going to settle for just anyone. This is the
truth. Yes, we may say that your level of education
does not matter, and it really doesn’t in the grand
scheme of things, but if you have any control over
the matter, go to school. Get a decent job. Learn a
little bit about fashion. Today’s Christian woman
wants to date a man who can pray up a storm, help
change diapers and do dishes after dinner from time
to time, bring home the bacon, and wine and dine
her. The way she sees it, she’s expected to hold it all
down AND look good doing it, so what’s stopping
you? The point here is don’t be complacent.

 She CAN become your wife without loving
you. Because a woman’s greatest need is security, it
is very possible for a woman to agree to marry you
even if she is not deeply in love with you, as long as
everything is just right. In fact, an aunt of mine
advised that no woman should ever marry a man
who loves her less than she loves him. Her punch
line? “The love will come. Women can grow to love
men, but if a man does not love you, that’s it.” Well,
husbands are told to love their wives like Christ loved
the church, aren’t they? What did Christ do? He died
for His church before she even knew Him! He does so
much more for her now that she is His bride! So as
painful as this might seem, don’t whine about it.
Here’s the secret: A woman cannot help but love a
man who loves her right. Think about it – the more
you learn about Christ’s love for you, the more you
love Him, right? But will Christ allow people who
don’t love Him into heaven? No. I would not
recommend marrying a woman who does not love
you.

9) Her influences could dictate your peace.
Opinions, solicited and unsolicited, flood into a born
again woman’s ear gates day in, day out. The
magazines say one thing, church says another, and
her friends probably blend the two together. If you
want to marry today’s Christian woman, you have to
learn how to put your foot down and decide the path
your home will take. If you’re not strong, you will buy
a car because Kamau bought one; then you will sell it
when Opiyo sells his; and you will move abroad
because you are trying to compete. Fashion trends,
social activities, spiritual activities – all these could
go so far as to determine your segxwal life and the
well-being of your children, so know what you need
to know before you commit. Think I’m kidding? Well,
how are you going to get any loving if she’s at a
kesha? Who will pick the children up from school if
she’s at a monthly girlfriends’ retreat in Mombasa?
Speaking of which:

10) She might see children as a hindrance.
This is among the toughest things for men to accept
these days, and they often find it out after they are
married. But today’s Christian woman might not
want to have children right after marriage – or ever.
School and career, or, in other words, “moving on
up,” and having a good time, conveniently branded
as “freedom,” may actually be a priority. Friends call
me every few weeks CRYING – not for joy – because
they MIGHT be pregnant. PRAYING that it is not true.
They freak out before they even go to the store to
buy the pregnancy test. You’d better be 100% sure
you are on the same page on this issue if you want to
avoid a bitter marriage.
What does all this say? Well… if you want to marry a
good woman, know that you might find her in an
unconventional place or manner. When you do find
her, take your time to get to know her. Understand
that she is only made flawless in Christ; her past may
have some gory details but is cleansed by her Lord.
Get to know why she is in it.


Posted: at 16-08-2013 01:29 AM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- Toks-E at 16-08-2013 03:00 AM (10 years ago)
(m)
Lengthy. But being beautiful and Godly doesn't make you a wife material.

Debate on that

Posted: at 16-08-2013 03:00 AM (10 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- cherishp at 16-08-2013 05:24 AM (10 years ago)
(f)
Nice one!! Christian men una hear?
Posted: at 16-08-2013 05:24 AM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- jossy4reall at 16-08-2013 05:32 AM (10 years ago)
(m)
no long thing

Posted: at 16-08-2013 05:32 AM (10 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- tripple2love at 18-08-2013 06:14 AM (10 years ago)
(m)
Sure @ Toks E

Posted: at 18-08-2013 06:14 AM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- tripple2love at 18-08-2013 06:15 AM (10 years ago)
(m)
Sure @ Toks E

Posted: at 18-08-2013 06:15 AM (10 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- jossy4reall at 18-08-2013 02:43 PM (10 years ago)
(m)
I dont knw hw I come to read No3 and it pops out a question inside me cuz dis poster wrote dis.. "There are still virgins out there,,I know several".... talkin about virgins and still he wrote.... "You cannot tell it from their faces and they may not necessarily broadcast it"...so hw did he know them??..

Posted: at 18-08-2013 02:43 PM (10 years ago) | Hero
Reply