Here is a scenario; let's say a little girl grows up in a household where her father was a great provider but not great at showing his love. No matter how much this little girl tried to get his attention he was always too busy.
This girl grows up and finds herself attracted to men very similar to her father, great providers but emotionally unavailable she works so hard trying to change him, after all she learned to work extra hard to get her father's attention, finally she succeeds he falls in love with her. At first she's overwhelmed and excited that she's won this man over...only the excitement and happiness doesn't last too long, because the loving affection is foreign to her, she doesn't know how to handle it, she runs away..The relationship ends.......
After numerous failed relationships, she starts to recognize a real pattern, she begins to soul search, trying to understand why all this is happening to her........finally she comes to understand where her behavior towards men stems from, she feels she can change it after all she has become accustomed to challenges, and her success rate is pretty high.
So...she starts to date emotionally available men, she plays the part although uncomfortable she does it despite her fears, she's anxious at times because she is not use to sitting back and enjoying the love/attention without having worked for it....Society says she should be happy, after all it's written in all the books how love shouldn't be a struggle...she tries really hard to relate, but finds herself empty....
So this woman stops dating completly and she asks...
How do we unlearn behavior............is it as simple as learning the right way, and ignoring the old way? And is it really possible to change ingrained conditioning?
Posted: at 17-08-2009 01:22 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
She kept making the mistake of trying to kill the old ingrained conditioning, which is'nt going to work, u have to adapt to override it. You can't unlearn the old way or ignore it, its gonna come up at the most convenient time. Once a fact is learned and a memory is formed and a behavior is learned, it is permanent and yes it is possible to change ingrained conditioning, it won't happen immediately but over a period of time.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 01:41 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 02:24 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Her classical conditioning is running away every time she's in a relationship.....and because of her environment in the past, it maybe hard for her to adapt. Emotional reactions concern internal, covert changes. Making a lasting change in behavior can be incredibly difficult. The only way i can think of for her to unlearn this is to self monitor herself. For ingrained conditioning something must have triggered it to happen. You can interrupt and change your habits by applying learning techniques to them so as to gain back conscious control. If you succeed in avoiding your habit for long enough, it will naturally weaken in strength, due to a process called extinction, and you will ultimately become free of it. This is much easier said than done, of course.
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 02:24 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Her classical conditioning is running away every time she's in a relationship.....and because of her environment in the past, it maybe hard for her to adapt. Emotional reactions concern internal, covert changes. Making a lasting change in behavior can be incredibly difficult. The only way i can think of for her to unlearn this is to self monitor herself. For ingrained conditioning something must have triggered it to happen. You can interrupt and change your habits by applying learning techniques to them so as to gain back conscious control. If you succeed in avoiding your habit for long enough, it will naturally weaken in strength, due to a process called extinction, and you will ultimately become free of it. This is much easier said than done, of course.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 02:37 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Her classical conditioning is running away every time she's in a relationship.....and because of her environment in the past, it maybe hard for her to adapt. Emotional reactions concern internal, covert changes. Making a lasting change in behavior can be incredibly difficult. The only way i can think of for her to unlearn this is to self monitor herself. For ingrained conditioning something must have triggered it to happen. You can interrupt and change your habits by applying learning techniques to them so as to gain back conscious control. If you succeed in avoiding your habit for long enough, it will naturally weaken in strength, due to a process called extinction, and you will ultimately become free of it. This is much easier said than done, of course.
One, i don't think u can unlearn behaviour, u can try replacing it, u can cover it up but u can't unlearn it, she will always revert back to her old self every time theres an overwhelming emotion be it love,happiness, nervousness or fear. Two, Extinction only applys to external forces not emotional, it would work if she wanted to quit smoking, drinking , u know, habits like that not this one.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 02:50 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 03:04 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 02:50 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
Her classical conditioning is running away every time she's in a relationship.....and because of her environment in the past, it maybe hard for her to adapt. Emotional reactions concern internal, covert changes. Making a lasting change in behavior can be incredibly difficult. The only way i can think of for her to unlearn this is to self monitor herself. For ingrained conditioning something must have triggered it to happen. You can interrupt and change your habits by applying learning techniques to them so as to gain back conscious control. If you succeed in avoiding your habit for long enough, it will naturally weaken in strength, due to a process called extinction, and you will ultimately become free of it. This is much easier said than done, of course.
One, i don't think u can unlearn behaviour, u can try replacing it, u can cover it up but u can't unlearn it, she will always revert back to her old self every time theres an overwhelming emotion be it love,happiness, nervousness or fear. Two, Extinction only applys to external forces not emotional, it would work if she wanted to quit smoking, drinking , u know, habits like that not this one.
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:04 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:13 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Here is a scenario; let's say a little girl grows up in a household where her father was a great provider but not great at showing his love. No matter how much this little girl tried to get his attention he was always too busy.
This girl grows up and finds herself attracted to men very similar to her father, great providers but emotionally unavailable she works so hard trying to change him, after all she learned to work extra hard to get her father's attention, finally she succeeds he falls in love with her. At first she's overwhelmed and excited that she's won this man over...only the excitement and happiness doesn't last too long, because the loving affection is foreign to her, she doesn't know how to handle it, she runs away..The relationship ends.......
After numerous failed relationships, she starts to recognize a real pattern, she begins to soul search, trying to understand why all this is happening to her........finally she comes to understand where her behavior towards men stems from, she feels she can change it after all she has become accustomed to challenges, and her success rate is pretty high.
So...she starts to date emotionally available men, she plays the part although uncomfortable she does it despite her fears, she's anxious at times because she is not use to sitting back and enjoying the love/attention without having worked for it....Society says she should be happy, after all it's written in all the books how love shouldn't be a struggle...she tries really hard to relate, but finds herself empty....
So this woman stops dating completly and she asks...
How do we unlearn behavior............is it as simple as learning the right way, and ignoring the old way? And is it really possible to change ingrained conditioning?
pardon..ur scenario is too off didn't understand it plz
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:15 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 03:17 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:17 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
vivian07 at 17-08-2009 03:30 PM (15 years ago) (f)
its not easy to " unlearn " a behavior...by ones self, except there is some thing like a driving force... some thing that u cherish a lot...some thing u can look back to and say "i can and will make it "... i think it has to do with determination.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:30 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:33 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 03:34 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:34 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:42 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 03:43 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:42 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:34 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
the dark one is my sis
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:43 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:42 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:34 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
the dark one is my sis
and she's older
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:48 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 03:53 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:48 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:43 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:42 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:34 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
the dark one is my sis
and she's older
yep
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:53 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:48 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:43 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:42 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:34 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
the dark one is my sis
and she's older
yep
wowwwwww guessed rite........ sorry to say she's lookin more beautiful den u are
Posted: at 17-08-2009 03:58 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
erikaakpan at 17-08-2009 04:00 PM (15 years ago) (f)
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:58 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:53 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:48 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:43 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:42 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:34 PM
Quote from: around_d_corner on 17-08-2009 03:33 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 03:17 PM
Quote from: temi07 on 17-08-2009 03:13 PM
Quote from: erikaakpan on 17-08-2009 02:24 PM
yeah u right about the external......but if u try to unlearn something u can forget it if u really want to....as long as something is not triggering it....u can try repressing ur memory. its very difficult though. try all that stuff the psychologist talk about. with their experiments it might help... i would recommend B.F.Skinner
hmmm this is something i can talk about...psychology is something i love
Thats the point, there's a constant trigger here, emotions. i love psychology too,lol
where is everyone else? we are the only one
sureeeeeee but u too in ya pix...........
wat about my pic?
see kinda two persons and they look alike
the dark one is my sis
and she's older
yep
wowwwwww guessed rite........ sorry to say she's lookin more beautiful den u are
ok...thanks for lettin me kno
Flirtation: Attention without intention.
Posted: at 17-08-2009 04:00 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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