ABC'S of ex girlfriends...

Date: 22-10-2009 5:54 pm (14 years ago) | Author: ozzy
[1] 2
- at 22-10-2009 05:54 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.

 


Posted: at 22-10-2009 05:54 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
- Akpan01 at 22-10-2009 05:54 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
EEEE LONG

Posted: at 22-10-2009 05:54 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 05:58 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
loooooooooooooooooooooool so u no read am?

Posted: at 22-10-2009 05:58 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Akpan01 at 22-10-2009 06:04 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
NOT YET BUT I WILL TOMORROW I PROMISE

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:04 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 06:05 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
hahahahaha o boi! see jonsin oh!

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:05 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 06:05 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

 

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:05 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- blings_is_back at 22-10-2009 06:09 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
i have phobia for long note..... brb
Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:09 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- erikaakpan at 22-10-2009 06:10 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Ummmm

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:10 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 06:11 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
loooooooooool u can read a line at a time

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:11 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- gimac at 22-10-2009 06:37 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
too small to my liking .....dont touch the dial
Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:37 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 06:41 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
fast learner...

[attachment deleted by admin]

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:41 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- PreetyInstinct at 22-10-2009 06:56 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
Ok cool so did u write dis up urself?

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:56 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- HOPEA23 at 22-10-2009 06:58 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
@preet..the answer is going to be no...this is what i call google shit.

Posted: at 22-10-2009 06:58 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 07:13 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
yea its google shit just to give pipo sumfin to read

Posted: at 22-10-2009 07:13 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- HOPEA23 at 22-10-2009 07:18 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
oh okie

but it to long..

Posted: at 22-10-2009 07:18 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- esonu at 22-10-2009 07:25 PM (14 years ago)
(m)
no time

Posted: at 22-10-2009 07:25 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- FabzBadangel at 22-10-2009 07:31 PM (14 years ago)
(f)
lolest

Posted: at 22-10-2009 07:31 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- simele at 23-10-2009 10:48 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: FabzBadangel on 22-10-2009 05:58 PM
loooooooooooooooooooooool so u no read am?

remove your hands from your chest lest see
Posted: at 23-10-2009 10:48 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- kemoprosper at 23-10-2009 11:27 AM (14 years ago)
(f)
wat do u want to see?Huh?Huh??
Posted: at 23-10-2009 11:27 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- emmy212 at 23-10-2009 11:36 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
waiting pass d guy...
Posted: at 23-10-2009 11:36 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
[1] 2

fire TRENDING GISTS fire

TODAY'S TOP
  1. Watch Moment Students Arrive For Prom In Helicopter And Expensive Cars

  2. Toyin Lawani Writes Open Letter To Asake Over New Hairstyle

  3. How British Charity Employed Nigerian Man, Peter Omoruy Convicted For Sex Trafficking In France

  4. Nigerian Govt Cuts Electricity Supplies To Benin Republic, Togo, Niger To Boost Domestic Supply

  5. VIDEO: Skitmaker, Erekere Shows Off His Newly Acquired Benz GLE

  6. BREAKING: Vice President Shettima Cancels Summit Trip To US Over Faulty Aircraft

  7. ‘I Appreciate Wike But I Can’t Worship Him’ – Rivers Gov, Fubara Opens Up

  8. Suspected One-Chance Armed Robber Arrested With Pistol In Suleja

  9. 'You Can Be Poor And Still Be Happier Than The So Called Rich' - World Bank Staff Says

  10. Ekiti Court Sentences 3 Persons To Death By Hanging For Robbery

  11. Actress, Etinosa Idemudia Calls Out BBNaija Star Over Unpaid Debt, Name Still Withheld

  12. Gunmen Kill One, Abduct Seven Along Sagamu-Ijebu-Ode Expressway

  13. Suspected Ritualists Kidnap 4 Month Old Boy In Akwa Ibom


THIS WEEK
  1. Following CBN Directive, OPay, Palmpay, Others Clamps Down On Crypto

  2. Moment Canadian Mayor Praises Tinubu For Work Done in Lagos While Honouring Peter Obi at Event

  3. Yvonne Jegede Reveals The Truth About Colleague, Mercy Johnson, While Calling Her Out (Video)

  4. Father-in-Law Of Wofai Fada, Engineer Kunle Cole Gives Reasons For Son’s Wedding Rejection

  5. Soldier, Abdullahi Ismail Dismissed From The Nigerian Army For Sleeping With Colleague’s Wife

  6. Onanuga Shares A Post Alleging Peter Obi Demarkets Nigeria, Calls Him ‘Bitter Obi'

  7. Primate Ayodele Issues Warning To Tinubu, Predicts Northern Opposition To Presidential Ambition

  8. Houseboy - Angela Okorie Fires Back At Mercy Johnson's Husband After His Post on 'Mad People'

  9. Ipswich Town Promoted to The Premier League After 22 Years

  10. Northern Leaders Kick Against The Relocation of US, France Military Base to Nigeria


TOP MEMBERS: